Hot Chica In Me

First Day of School

2011-05-18T22:58:00.000-07:00

This has been a major emotional week for me. My baby girl turned 12! For some reason this is a big one for me. TWELVE! Wow! Today is our 16th wedding anniversary! Seriously! SIXTEEN~~!! Double Wow! Yesterday, I went to register my children for their co-op classes. That is what it is called, when homeschoolers take classes, taught by other homeschool mom's or dad's or their children! Back to my thought. I got home and it hit me. It hit me like a ton of bricks!!! I had just registered my baby boy for his FRESHMAN year in HIGH SCHOOL!! OMG! When did this happen? I remember his very first day of school like it was yesterday! I'm talkin Kindergarten people! I remember how he looked and him holding a special bookmarker I had made for him. On one side it had a picture of me, and on the other side it had a picture of his Dad. I told him that way we were still with him at school and if he felt sad he could look at his bookmarker. tear. As I sat ther realizing what had just happened, I realized that he only has FOUR more first day's of school!!! Four out of thirteen!!! I hope and pray to God that I am doing a great job at being a mother. (at least, I hope they will think so when they are all grown up!) I pray that I cherish every second I am blessed to share with them. I pray I lead and guide them to make good decisions and be outstanding citizens in society. I pray that I have instilled in them that having faith and believing in God are just like breathing. It comes naturally, and you don't even think about doing it, cuz it is such a normal process for you. I always knew I wanted to be a mother, and I pray that I have done my best at it. I am blessed to be staying home and home schooling my children now. I am really enjoying them and getting to know them on such a different level that many parents are never aware of. Thank you Lord!!

Do you Have any "rules" for your life??

2011-02-18T10:54:00.000-08:00

I have a few. The other day on facebook a friend contact asked if it was okay for her to be mad at a person she had asked a question of, that had given her an answer she was not happy with. Ummmm.... DUH! I have a simple rule. It is my number TWO rule in my life. NEVER ask a question you really don't want to know the answer to. It's that simple! Like how many people ask their significant other the number of partners they have been with. WHY? What difference does it make, as long as you are disease free and this person makes you happy? Would it matter if it was 1 or 100? I think it's more important to ask yourself what are you going to do with this information. Are you going to hold it against them? Is it going to affect your relationship negatively? If yes, then WHY ask?? I simply say before you ask the question, ask yourself a few questions. 1- what are you going to do with the information? 2- is this information in any small chance going to change your relationship/friendship? If you are not ready for the change, or don't want a change. STOP. Don't ask it. Sometimes being clueless means being bliss. That is my tip for the day..... The sun is out and not a cloud in the sky. go forth and may the force be with you my friends!!

Back In the Saddle Again?!

2010-12-29T00:22:00.000-08:00

Wow!! I can't believe it has been almost a year since I have blogged!!
<<>> I am doing much better lately. I see my blog has fallen apart
in my abscene. I will be working on it as well as a few other things from
now on. : )
I hope to get it up and running in the next week......
so y'all come back now ya here! wink wink

Seriously??

2010-02-21T22:52:00.000-08:00

Wow! I knew I had not blogged in awhile... but since last year?? Wow! Just had to say it again. Well, so I've been doing some "soul" searching. It has now been a year since my brother passed away. With his passing came many changes and many realizations. I started this blog yearssss ago! Seriously, that is sad that I don't even have 100 posts. So, when I started it was because my brother's health was so bad and mine was no better with my weight, I decided I wanted to blog about weight loss. I have yet to write one post on nutrition, healthy cooking, workouts, or anything fitness related. Lately, I have been doing some serious blog surfing and I find myself glued again and again to creative type blogs. One thing I knew about my job as a NICU nurse was that it did not "feed" my creative beast. Yes, it's a beast ladies and gentlemen! This beast is constantly talking to me, look at this, did you see that, what would you do here, and the one I constantly hear is, "I can do that!" I love that I get such inspiration from perfect strangers that open their homes and hearts online. With all this said, I think my blog is going to take a different direction. This is a big leap of faith.. Wish me luck, and most of all stay tuned! Ciao chicas!

Farewell 2009! Hellooooooo 2010!!

2009-12-31T21:12:00.000-08:00

Here it is just a few minutes shy of 2010. I didn't expect to post tonight. I was blog hopping and trying to catch up on some of my coupon clipping and reading the end of the year post for some of them made me want to say a few things.
This was truly the hardest year of my life! The devil did not fail to attack my life in any area! Financially, Spiritually, Physically, and Emotionally.
The best part is that I'm still sittin up eatin table food!! Yeee-ha baby!
I really "heal" well with music. When I was younger, I used to call the radio my
"heartbeat," cuz I had to have it on all the time! One song that has particularly helped me heal from losing my brother is Carrie Underwoods, Temporary Home. OMG! Tearjerker! I find myself coming back to some things I had been away from and hot not even realized it.
I am looking forward to 2010, and if there is one thing I learned this year is that God is in control!
I wish I could say, I'm not gonna sweat the small stuff, but I am a control freak... so, let me say.. I'll work on that.
I have been praying about sharing my full year in full disclosure, but I don't feel strong enough yet. I know that when I am ready it will help people. When I was being personally sued by a parent in the NICU, it took me awhile but I can now share that story and show a great example of how to trust in God. Long story short, I was dropped from the lawsuit! Those 26 months were difficult also, but not near what we went through this year. With that said, I pick up my twinkling champagne glass, and make a toast:
May 2010 be filled with joy, warmth, and blessings beyond measure.
May we be a blessing to friends and strangers alike.
May it be the start of the greatest decade of our lives, and
finally.. may our bank accounts grow fatter and our waistlines
get smaller! Cheers Chicas! : )

Trying to get organzied, but only getting overwhelmed!

2009-12-30T16:26:00.000-08:00

Whew!! The start of a new year, already! I can't believe how fast the time has gone. Sometimes when I am writing a check, (YES, I still write checks!) I start writing 199- OMG! Maybe I want to live in the 90's? Who knows? Personally, I LOVED, LOVED, LOVED the 80's !! They rocked didn't they? There I go... getting off focus. Hmm, kinda like my day today. I got up, got the kids up and thought I was headed off to a productive day. WRONG! Seriously, I don't remember how.. or why.. but I ended up back in bed! Now, hold yourself up, cuz I have NEVER done this.. I slept till 2pm!!! Holy Cow Batman! I don't feel sick? I thought I was tired, but not t h a t tired?? Oh well, it's done now. I have slowly been working on getting some things organized before the new year. Umm, today... not so much. I did manage to do some laundry! Woo Hoo! Probably, only cuz I was out of clean bras! Shhh! I don't own but like 3! Guess what? I ordered 4 and they came by mail today! Have not tried them on, cuz I have been busy.. yeah.. NOT! I'm still in my "jammies."
Well, with all this organization I "dialed for dinner" tonight. Pizza Hut, Hello?
I did semi okay today... my cereal for breakfast with fresh blueberries. Sandwich and some sunchips for lunch. You will notice as the day progresses I steadily got out of control. I wanted Ice Cream. So, I asked my son to bring me some. He brought me a bowl full! I am happy to say, here it sits, melted. Okay, well at least 1/2 of it. I just couldn't eat it all. Good thing, cuz now we are having Pizza and wings for dinner. JOY! I guess I best get back to my "papers." I am working on finding out how much we spent on Christmas and how much I saved us with all my coupons and online deals. Hmmm, if only I would really have that cash in my hand... Ahhh, to dream or not to dream.. that is my dilemma.
Opps. The pics of the snow we got in North Texas! As of today it has actually snowed twice in the past week! That is like extremely unusual!

Christmas

2009-12-26T13:15:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas!! Yeah, I know it's the day after Christmas. So what?! Who cares?
As you can see I did not blog much this month at all. It was a difficult month and I am glad to say "I am sittin' up eating table food, and doing just fine!"
Yeah, so sometimes there are tears in my oatmeal.. it needs salt anyway right?
Ha! See, my new attitude? This was a big year for "first things." It was my first Christmas without my brother. That was difficult. I may not have mentioned it, but in Nov/Dec I lost a 29yo cousin (Olga) to H1N1 !! She left behind three young boys. She was single and had been through some dark paths in her life, but she was working on putting her life back on the right track. Sad... Just about 2 wks after that, my aunt Helen died. more sadness... My aunt Jenny was taking care of my aunt Helen in her home. Helen was one tough cookie, up until the moment she passed. It's funny, talking to one of my cousins, we joked about how we grew up being scared of her! She was a tall, big woman with a husky voice that she carried loudly! If she was in the room, everyone knew it. I can say, that because of my brother's passing I have a new memory of my aunt Helen. I got to sit and have a meal with her during my time in El Paso. She walked into my aunt's house wearing a funny hat! I wish I could describe it. It was kind of like a Cat in the Hat hat. I want to say it was purple, but not sure.. I'll have to go back and look at the pictures. Anyway, I now think of my aunt as, my aunt with the funny hat. smile..
Interestingly, enough my aunt Jenny took in my cousin's three boys. I guess she will get custody of them and raise them as her boys. She has three grown children and now she is starting all over again. Whew! God Bless her!
I know I went off on a tangent there.. oh well. Life happens. The greatest and biggest, bestest first of all was that this was our FIRST EVER creditless Christmas!! Yep! Yee-ha!! We or "I" since I did 95% of the shopping did not charge a red cent!! The greatest thing is that the presents were better than ever this year!! Since my coupon shopping started, I have been able to get some SUPER good deals! One deal I got was to do a 30day free Trial of AmazonPrime. I signed up on Novemeber 22 and made sure it was not automatic renewal and shopped my heart out! With that little benefit I got FREE SHIPPING on ALL my orders! OMG! I joked that the neighbors were going to think I started selling drugs or something. The delivery trucks, just kept coming and coming. Fed Ex, UPS, USPS, it was awesome!
I have not done the tally on how much we spent and how much we saved, but I know it is significant. OMG! Another great giant First was the kids FIRST WHITE CHRISTMAS!!
Yep! We actually got snow in North Texas for Christmas! It actually came Christmas eve, but was still on the ground Christmas morning and throughout the day. Okay, Okay, so it was not much, but heck, It was snow nonetheless!
It is beautiful and sunny out today. Not much evidence of a white Christmas anymore, just the evidence of a bright sunshiny day!!

When you and your BF get the Big D...

2009-12-01T22:32:00.000-08:00

I'm talkin about divorce. What I am not talkin about is in relation to marriage. I'm talkin about in relation to relationships. When you have been "friends" with someone for so many years and you spend day after day after day together while your spouses are at work, you are pretty much "married" to one another in a gf sort of way. I may have mentioned it briefly before that with my brother's passing came several other losses that are difficult to discuss. I have touched on losing my job, what I also lost was my best friend. We could not see eye to eye on dealing with grief and treating someone going through grief, should be. I know that doesn't make sense, so I will try to explain. Basically, I felt one way and my bf felt another about how a person should respond to someones passing. This is a big issue! I had to take a step back and realize that if our views are that different when the chips are down, I need to re-evaluate our relationship. It's at those times in life when you need your "partner in crime" the most, and if they tell you they can't be by your side...... what do you??!!! As hard as it was, I did what had to be done. We got a divorce. It's okay to chuckle here, if ya want. Seriously, that is what I call it. Our children were best friends with each other since they were in Mother's Day out. During the summers we literally would spend 8hrs/day together 5 days/wk! Now, here comes the explanation as to why I call it a divorce...
The children - they still want to see each other. I knew it was not like I was never going to speak to my bf again, I just knew I couldn't continue investing that much time and energy into a relationship that was not going to be there for me when I needed it the most. Sooooo, when the time comes for the kids to hang out, one of us drops off the kids, acts cordial, makes arrangements for pick up if they have not been made and heads out the door. Isn't that kind of like when a married couple gets divorced?? (minus the lawyer, lots of money and battle over who gets to keep the lake house) smile, chuckle here... I know, I should not joke about divorce. People that have been through it would not compare it. I just know that it was "dissolving" a relationship that was together for many years and it hurts..
It hurts real bad sometimes. I just don't like being "single" or "bf-less". lol
My ex-bf has a new bf, and that is fine and dandy. I'm not jealous. I think when you have been hurt so bad, you tend to be a bit gun shy and I have actually probably subconsciously done the opposite and pushed some of my other friends away. I did the same thing when my father passed. I know I made it through and I am sittin' up eating table food, so I will be okay. The table food comment, came from a gay friend of mine that took me out to eat one night because I was so heart broken over the man in my life at the time. He sat there with all his gay, black self and told me... "GURRRLLLLL! You are sittin' up, you are eating table food, you are doing JUST FINE!!" I loved that moment!! To this day, I remind myself when times get tough.... I'm sittin' up, I'm eating table food, I'm doing just fine!! I have to add, eating at Spaghetti Warehouse is just never the same though. I wonder what happened to him? My gay black friend.. last I heard he was in Florida... Well, I feel better now that I have gotten that off my chest and had a good cry. Until next time Chicas !! Ciao
**the image is a piece my son made on the computer. He titled it, "Mr Happy."
kinda fitting isn't it?

Seriously??

2009-11-01T21:58:00.000-08:00

Seriously? Did I only blog once last month? Usually, I average once a week, or 4 per month which I think is fairly decent for my sooo exciting life. Wow!
Well, this is going to be brief and concise...
1- Had a Dr's appt. At my highest weight ever! So not happy! BEST lab results ever!! Go figure!!??
2-Halloween was super OOC!! (out of control) Family went in 3 different directions. Lorenzo went to his first ever lock in. I was very nervous and got very lil sleep. He did great and placed 3rd in the Halo tournament. Great job son!
I had a super hilarious costume that cost me nothing! yeah! I was the H1N1 vaccine and DH was the swine flu! That cost us nothing as well, cuz I made the pig snout out of card stock and the rest was stuff we had.
3-Woke up Nov 1, to the nast surprise of a brick through the back window of my suburban!! ARRRRRRR! So NOT cool! Tomorrow I have the pleasure of dealing with
glass companies to come out and fix it. Wish I could find those kids!! Apparently, several things were done in our neighborhood and another one not to far away!
Well, I am one tired pup. off 2 bed.

He has never left

2009-10-20T22:10:00.000-07:00

I've been away for some time now. I don't know why. I feel like I am in a state of being still. I want to be still and listen to what I am suppose to hear. Today, I spent most of the day in bed. I woke up feeling yucky! Body aches, cough, hoarse voice and feeling like a MAC truck hit me. (That is the mechanic wife in me talking haha) I did some homeopathic remedies and am feeling like I'm going to live! Hubby called on his way home and asked if he could get me anything and of course, I said, "Sonic sweet tea." My route 44 sweet tea may have done the trick also.
okay, where was I... Ahh, yes. Since I slept most of the day, I am now up and surfing the net. I am going to bed right after I post this. I came across a blog and began reading the writers profile. There were some very profound words that hit me. In her profile she briefly mentioned some difficult moments in her life and how God had never left her side, he was there with her the entire time. Have mercy, did I need to read that!! It made me realize that no matter what I am going through, and how alone I may feel, he is always there by my side. I know this, but sometimes, it doesn't hurt to be reminded of exactly what that means and how powerful his presence can be in our lives. With that, I'm off to dreamland Chicas.

Words Can be Music to Your Ears!

2009-09-25T20:25:00.000-07:00

Earlier this week, we had some spectacular weather! The perfect temperature, to open your windows and air the house out after running the A/C all summer. There was a perfect breeze. The house did not get hot, nor was it too cold. My husband walked in the door from work and said, "This house sounds so alive!" I almost fell over. I looked at him and said, "what did you say?" He repeated it, "this house sounds so alive! With the dogs barking, and I can hear the kids and the music playing. It just sounds full of life." Thank you God for small moments that you send confirmation to us through others that have NO clue! I am praying this week, to make sure I am where God wants me to be at this time. I love being home with my children and home schooling them. I just want to be certain I am not suppose to be do anything else along with all that. Well, just a quick note I had to share with ya'll. The great State Fair of Texas kicked off today, and as of today we only have 90 days till Christmas! Woo hoo!!

2 Steps Forward, 1 Step back....

2009-09-21T10:24:00.001-07:00

That is what I feel like.....
I felt like I was doing better (dealing with the loss of my brother). I can't exactly say what sent me spinning the past few weeks. I wish I knew so I would avoid whatever it was at all cost!! I just all of a sudden hit rock bottom again. Thank goodness not as bad as before. I also didn't hang out at the bottom of the pool for as long this time. (I talk about the bottom of the pool in a previous post, if you read it, you understand) I made an astonishing revelation. I feel like I am going through the motions. Just day comes, day goes. I literally did not feel ALIVE! How sad, I know. If there is one thing losing a loved one should teach you, is to live each day to the fullest. For some reason, I guess because a major part of me died, I just did not feel alive. I felt robotic, just going through the motions, emotionless. Not to mention there are some private issues going on that I can't make public. I know we will get through this darkness. It just feels like when you are so beat down, the hits keep coming and you just stop feeling the pain...
You come to a point, where you just sit still and wait, and wait, for the hits to stop. I feel I am picking myself up and dusting myself off. I will get back on my 2 feet and I will be stronger because all of this!! I will be a better person because of this. I will give the glory to God!
Although, this is sad to read, don't be sad for me. Be joyful, that I will make it through with God's grace! Everyday forward is one day more of healing! I know God hears me, and knows of my needs before I bring them to him. This past Friday the FINAL payment on my suburban was made!! Praise God, the Decker household now has 2 paid for vehicles!! That brings us closer to fixing our finances. After my grand revelation, I decided something major. I will come alive in '09!! That is my new slogan. "Alive in '09!!" By golly, so many things happened this year that just about killed my spirit. Guess what? I am alive in '09!! Although, I may have taken a step back I think I will lunge forward and make tremendous strides.
** I had to come back and toot my own horn. I always hit spell check before I post. Today for the first time it said "no misspellings found!!" progress already
: )

September upon us, already....

2009-09-07T09:19:00.000-07:00

I can't believe how fast this year is going by. That's what I used to hear old people say. Now, I am one of them! What a year it has been. It's not over and there is still more to come. We started home schooling and it's going pretty good. I still don't feel as organized, but that is probably due to my OCD tendencies. Surprisingly, my child that never wanted to go to school, wakes up and is wanting to get school going. Now, she doesn't rise early, but once she does, she thinks because she is up the show must get on the road! I have been very impressed with her progress. Lorenzo and I have been struggling through math. I think I have to back him up some and review then we can move ahead. The flexibility is beyond awesome.
This past Thursday we took the day off and drove to Southlake. He wanted to see this truck that was touring the nation and only had a few stops in Texas. It has to do with a new video game coming out on September 22, 2009. It is "Halo 3 ODST" and he was pretty excited that I took him. I almost teared up there, cuz I hope he grows up and remembers these sacrifices that are made for him to have a moment of blissful, joy! As you can see, we got some pretty good pictures. It was super muggy out and standing in line was not fun. I waited inside of GameStop in the cool air- conditioning, until he got close to the front of the line.
He dominated the game once inside. It was pretty funny, that my 12you beat out some college kids. One especially had been bragging about how he dominated on XBOX live and had been "banned" from the sever because he was so good. Ahem... My son kicked his butt! He beat him by over 10,000 points. Lorenzo was the overall winner in his group of 8 players. Now, my son is not sports oriented. I have tried playing these videos games with him and I swear, I would be one of those that breaks down and has a seizure. My eyes, can't follow the darn graphics. I make him so frustrated, asking, "Which one am I?" "Now what is going on?" "Who am I suppose to shoot" "Which button again?" After about 120 seconds, he says, "Mom, just watch."
I have to be proud of him. It is hard to build self confidence in him, and I will take it however I can get it! He won a license plate cover that says, "My other car is a warthog." I told him that would look great on my suburban!
I thought I would post just a bit on this Labor Day, before I get started "laboring." I might labor away in the kitchen, not sure yet. I was out all day yesterday with my allergies gone mad! I feel better today. Maybe lay around and watch movies is about as laboring, as I plan on getting.

Big Savings!!

2009-08-18T18:55:00.001-07:00

I have started to get a handle on coupon shopping. This past Saturday a grocery store I don't want to name, I'll discuss later why, had a super awesome promo.
They were doubling coupons up to $1!! So if you had $1 off Dannon Danimals and they were $1.88 you got them FREE!! FREE!! FREE!! From one of my coupon blogs I found a spreadsheet! That totally cracked me up, that some one took the time to create a spread sheet, pretty much section by section of the grocery store, had the price of the item pre coupon, the amount the coupon was for, then the post coupon price. WAIT, it didn't stop there! It told you where to find the coupon!! OMG! Talk about out of control. Most of the blogs have a system that will tell you the coupon provider and what date the coupon came out on. It's an easy system once you understand it. I was so excited!! Carson could not wait to go with me. She loves to Black Friday shop, too!~ Let me just Thank the Lord right here, for a girly girly that loves to shop with her mama!
I thought I would let the first round of crazy coupon folks go first and then I would hit the store. We got there at 7:30 am, a little over 2.5 hours later we emerged... I had saved $104 !!!! Yee-ha. My out of pocket was $90. Here is where I can add, anybody want some yogurt? haha I did get many free items, 4 packs of energizer batteries for .71cents, tons of free mustard (about 6 bottles) and I thought I had gotten a good deal on some Grands biscuits. After the adrenaline wore off, I looked over my receipt and thought... hmmm, I kinda expected it to be less out of pocket. Sure enough, I went through it and my biscuits all rang up at regular price!! arrrr! I went back to the store and customer service was closed. They only had one register opening so they asked if I could return the next day. The manager was very nice and polite. I went back the next day and to make a
L O N G story short, this butt head of a manager would not give me the difference!!
I was so upset. He was rude and belittling and I thought Carson was about to go off on him! She was just as upset as I was when we left the store without or money. During our heated discussion (ahem, notice I omitted all those details) I asked the manager if he would prefer I take the matter to corporate since he was being such a jerk. He said, sure! So I did! Corporate kindly credited my customer card the $20!! I was excited to have prevailed over Mr Rudeness, but more so, over the fact that it brought my saving to $124!!! Out of pocket only $70!! The funny thing, is it doesn't seem like I got lots of food in the house?! Go figure. I did get some good deals on deo, shampoo, TP, paper cups and things like that. I am going to start tracking how much money I save in one year. I don't even have an idea of what it might be.
On another happy note, I lost 6 lbs!! GLORY, GLORY, Hallelujah....
Umm, not the right song. Haha Anyway, I'm totally hyped. Yeah, whatever! I think it is from the stress of pulling together curriculum for home schooling.
Speaking of, I'm still a few things short so I'm off out in cyberspace once again, searching for books. I have some coming from Aurora, CO. So cool! I don't shop EBAY, I shop craigslist. Anyways...... I'll gracefully exit on a high note.

It's 3am, what should I be doing right now???

2009-08-04T01:29:00.001-07:00

I know I should not be posting on my blog, that's for sure! Ever since my brother passed away my sleep schedule has been, ummm, non-existent. I can't fall asleep, when I do fall asleep, I only sleep for a few hours... You would think that I have lots accomplished during my wake time in the wee hours of the morning. NOPE! Today, I had breakfast already... cereal... clipped coupons... took a shower.. and now here I am. I did try the laying still and quiet and just resting... makes me more restless.
I was doing better (with my sleep issue), but then I found out my mother is having episodes of "falling" again. She ends up laying on the floor for hours! Crazy, stubborn, Mexican woman! She refuses to move in with anyone. Heavens forbid she go to a nursing home!! Don't you know in our culture that is right up there with abandonment. That is where family members go that you don't want around anymore (at least in her mind). She cracks me up sometimes. Seriously, I don't know what is going to become of all of it. She has not been the same since my brother passed. Having a son, I can't imagine what she is going through. A mother should never have to bury their child, no matter what age! I've asked her to come live with us, but we have no family here and that would make a very difficult transition. She doesn't want to move in with my sister.. Well, that about eliminates all her choices. I need to give it to God. Okay, let me do that.. here goes..
Hmmm, we'll see how long that lasts?!
I am finally hitting the excited stage about homeschooling. It is becoming a reality. I am sure reality will slap me in the face come August 17!! Actually, I don't know when we will begin school? I still have some lose ends to tie up. I can do this! I know I can! Not only that, but my gollie Ms Mollie, I am gonna be darn good at it! (Was that a run on sentence, with incorrect grammar? haha)
I checked my email before cruising over to my blog and got a message from a pen pal of mine. Hmm, I guess I can't technically call her pen pal... let me think. From a ...computer pal? Internet pal? cyberspace pal? Either way. We write to each other and have never met! It's so cool! I'm lost now. Oh yea... she mentioned chai tea. Mmmm, have not had some in forever. I think I'm going to go make myself a cup of warm organic green tea. Maybe that will do the trick.. sure do hope so!!

Girlfriend Time!!

2009-07-28T11:49:00.000-07:00

I am blessed enough to say that I have a GF that I grew up with! We went to elementary school, Jr High, High School AND College together!! Not very many people can say that! Don't get me wrong. Our relationship isn't always hunky dory. (sp?)
We have had our ups and some serious downs. All in all, we manage to work things out. She is pretty much the closest thing to a "sister" that I have. We can go a good length of time without contact and manage to pick up right where we left off. We not only went through all our schooling together, but weddings, births, divorce, and unfortunately deaths. She tends to be the one that moves here and there.
I... well, stay in one place. She used to live here in Dallas, then moved to San Antonio. It had been years, and I mean years since we had seen each other. Life just gets in the way sometimes. She finally was making a trip to the big D!!
Yeee-ha! I got to see her July 15. We had such a good time!!! It was short but sweet. We meet at Uptown here in Cedar Hill. It is a pretty upscale outdoor mall that has recently been added to our lil podunk town.
I sooooooo needed to sit and have a good GF gab!! (NO, pun intended there, since my gf's name is Gabi!! haha) I had been wanting to try out this new place that sells nothing but Mac-N-Cheese. Yep! you heard me, mac-n-cheese!!
The place is called Max-N-Cheese. The noodles were as long as your fingers, and soo, soo, yummy! It comes with one "topping." You can add bacon, jalapeno, broccoli, goldfish or some other crazy thing on their list. They do sell a few sandwiches, but it would be a sin to walk out of there without some mac-n-cheese! After sitting next to the fountains eating out lunch, we walked over to Barnes and Noble to have some dessert from the Starbucks/Cheesecake Factory setup they have inside. We started talking and before we knew it, hours had flown by! My children LOVE to read, thank goodness. We can go and spend hours there and it will feel like we were there 30 minutes. We finally got our dessert, a super chocolate and chocolate chip muffin. Mmmmm, my mouth is watering remembering it.
I only ate 1/2! I quickly throw in my disclaimer, and btw I only ate the smallest portion of mac-n-cheese they offered. Not that I couldn't have had more. : )
We ate and talked some more. After the kids started getting restless we walked to a couple of stores. It is just so much fun, spending time with a friend doing everyday things. Sometimes when friends come into town you do tourist stuff and don't really get to connect. We connected! I felt so much better after her visit. I only wish I had been able to spend more time with her. She is a social butterfly and having lived here (in Dallas) previously she had plenty of "dates" set up with friends for lunch, etc.
She was suppose to stay with us, but we were getting flooring put in. Which is another long story.....
It was a great afternoon. Before we left Barnes and Nobles, I wanted to take some pictures. I got the idea to take pics with crazy books and we only had to look 2 feet at the books we were sitting next to! The one Gabi and I are holding had these Barack and Michelle Obama kinda paper doll cut outs in front of it. The one my kids are holding isn't what you think. How funny that we would find these in just a few seconds! Girlfriends + funny pics = good times!! Miss ya GF!

Happy Birthday America!!!

2009-07-28T10:39:00.001-07:00

Wow! Here it is 4th of July already. Where did this year go? I am finally feeling like celebrating a bit. I love the fireworks. I love when you get to watch them cuddling with your "main man" and listening to the music. It's motivating to me in some strange way. I guess looking at them go up and up and going from a small spec, turning into something spectacular and beautiful, makes me feel like the sky is the limit! Strangely, my dh doesn't see it that way. He could care less about the fireworks. It's about the food for him. When isn't it about the food for that man? It's always about the food. He's a closet foodie!!
Usually, I struggle with ANY holiday. I grew up Mexican. (Yes, you are suppose to laugh there!) We made a big deal about losing your first tooth! Quick, get a keg, call your family, let's have a party! What? The baby took his first steps?! Quick, get a keg, call your family, let's have a party! Well, you get the picture...
Dh, grew up completely, entirely at the opposite end of the spectrum. It was always just his Mom, Brother, Grandmother and Grandfather. That's it!!! I kid you not! Early in our marriage, I was going through some pictures his Mother sent us. I have a photographers eye.. I can't help it! I looked at him and said.. "Do you realize that your family is sitting in exactly the same spot, wearing the same clothes, for each picture!!" They were pics of different holidays, but it was hard to tell which was when. I laughed, cuz it was such a contrast to how I grew up celebrating holidays.
We don't get invited to many houses over the holidays. Not sure why? I have lots of friends that have their family locally, and they spend it with them. We don't have any family around... so it's been like the pics my MIL sends us... just us. Thankfully, not wearing the same clothes! This year we got invited to a friend's house. Dh and him used to work together at their previous place of employment and have kept in touch. I like him, he's funny, makes me laugh and we get along. They used to joke, cuz I would call dh at work and end up talking to Mike for 10min and dh would ask him who he was talking too, and he would say.. "Oh here, it's Yvette!"
He's just a good guy. They live a good distance from us. It took awhile, but we got going. I'm glad we did. Just cuz the kids had a blast! They have a pool and the kids went swimming and swimming and played with some other kids. It was hot, and there were lots of people and guess what?? There was even a keg! Yep! (His wife is Mexican, not him. hehe) We didn't get to see fireworks.. darn it! They did have some of those lil packets of fireworks they legally sell at like Target. We went through about 4 of those kits, it was enough for the kids to ohhh, and ahhh.
My son... how do I put this.. can be a bit super observant sometimes. The adults got excited when we could hear the fireworks going off from a big show not too far away. Some were standing on chairs, we were all stretching out necks, moving here and there, trying to catch a glimpse between houses. Then my son says, "Ya know, they do this every year, and we still go all OOOhhh over them." Cracked me up! So true. From the mouth of babes...

Put Your Big Girl Panties On and Deal With It!!!

2009-07-28T10:15:00.000-07:00

I don't have a good excuse for not blogging lately. I wish I did... I really, really, don't like where I am at right now. In so many areas of my life. I am trying my best to do my best and sometimes my best sucks! I haven't stayed in bed all day for weeks, so that is an improvement! I haven't gained any weight so that's also a good thing. My gym membership is gone. I've been trying to be more active with the kids. Even if it means going to a couple of stores per day. That is more activity than I had been getting, right?!
I think.. key word.. that I have finally decided to home school my kiddos. I've been researching, and researching and I am pretty close to believing that I can do this! It's amazing when I realize exactly how low self esteem can effect so many areas of your life. maybe I am finally coming to the acceptance phase in my grieving over my brother, job, best friend.. and don't like where my life is. I am figuring out where I want my life to be and how I'm going to get there. I don't want to sound bratty here, but I usually get what I want. I set a goal and go get it. I need to figure out what I am going to do with this new phase in my life. I heard someone talk about losing their job at 40yo and how they were going to venture into opening up a business. The profound statement that got me is, "You may never have this chance again in your life!" OMG! Hit me like lead bricks! This is so true!!! My kids will never be this age again. I have the opportunity to stay home with them and home school like I have always wanted too! WOW! What am I doing freaking out over, "can I do this?" I am a major control freak and here I am going to be in complete control over their education and it scares the poop out of me! The more I searched the more my fears were confirmed that kids from Charter schools are academically behind. I guess this really hit me when my kids scored perfect 100's on their TAKS test. I feel they can only be taught at the rate of the slowest kid in the class, cuz the teacher can't leave that one behind. I don't know... I just feel they aren't being challenged and they are so smart they deserve a good education! I know it will get them further in life! I want "them" to be the only thing that is going to stop them from getting what they want in life. Not their education, or lack there of. I guess I've gone full circle and have confirmed that "I" am the only one stopping me from doing what I want to do. right? right!
Get up GF, put your big girl panties on and deal with it!
Ouch! I needed that! I guess enough pouting, crying, feeling sorry for myself.
Life goes on, like it or not.

Sad Day in Hollywood

2009-06-25T22:23:00.000-07:00

This morning news broke that Farah Fawcett lost her battle with anal cancer. The media coverage was pretty much all the same. It was a very nice statement saying her long time love and best friend were by her side. A few hours later I heard a blurb that there was a 911 call from Micheal Jackson's home. I really didn't pay attention to it. The poor man could hardly go to the bathroom without it being made public.
In the late afternoon I was on the phone with my aunt when she told me to hold on, because her other line was ringing. She came back and told me that my cousin called to say that the news was reporting that Micheal Jackson had died!! OMG! I immediately turned to CNN as did she. I was in shock and disbelief. I called my daughter into the room and she said she had seen the crawler on the show she was watching. This is funny... She said she checked the info to see the date of the show. You know how some shows are old. Well, it happened to be an old show, so she just dismissed it and didn't think anything of it. I was impressed that she would think to check the date. Her and my son were default fans because when his songs would come on the radio, I of course growing up with his music would know every word and sing my heart out.
It saddens my heart to hear some of the comments people make about him even after his death. On facebook, a friend of mine made a not very nice comment and I could not keep my fingers still. I had to type my rebuttal. Think of him what you may, he had a tremendous impact on music and entertainment. There will never be another like him. I am sad for the families that have to deal with the addition of negative remarks at this time. It really is never an appropriate time. I personally feel he is not guilty of the horrible things he went to court for. He was not acquitted for any charge, btw.
Nonetheless, within a weeks time Hollywood has lost some major stars. Ed McMahon died earlier in the week. I was not aware of it, until watching the coverage there was a comment about how they come in 3's. Having worked in the NICU, I unfortunately have seen first hand how that happens. We would lose one baby, soon the next would follow and sometimes it would come right after we would lose the third. It is so disturbing to see that trend.
It is difficult to hear news like this. I did tear up some, I am not embarrassed to say. He was an idol in my era. He will be sadly missed. As for Ms Farah, I think she handled her situation with grace and dignity. I hope that her journey she documented helps others.

Reflecting on Father's Day

2009-06-21T15:27:00.000-07:00

It's Father's Day today. It is always a bitter sweet day for me. I lost my father 23 years ago. Wow! As you know, this year I lost my brother. Having my Dad gone for so long, my brother was in a dual role. Gosh, darn it! I'm already crying..

Okay, I'm back.
Where was I? Ah yes.. I was not sure how I would feel today. I know that I have to be thankful that "MY" children have a father to celebrate the day with. I am! Don't get me wrong. It's "my" father missing that brings me down. I have come to realize that a father is irreplaceable! I don't know why, God thinks some of us will do okay, without one. I have learned this. God taketh, and he giveth. Yeah, I know that I said it backwards. I say it that way, cuz I have come to realize that he really does know what he is doing! Imagine that! I've reconnected with a friend of mine from HS. In just the few months we have been in contact again, I have gotten very comfortable with him. I am trying to view it this way. God took my sick brother that needed to get some rest and gave me a younger healthier "brother" in my life. Thanks big guy! It helps the hurt when I think of it that way.
I hope that Dad and Tiny are having an awesome first Father's Day together in so many years!
With our current cut in income we have not done major gifts for each other on Mother's Day or Father's Day. I cooked my butt off this week for Chris. He loves Mexican food and that is what he wanted. I also cleaned out "most" of the garage. He was complaining of it getting too cluttered. Since losing my brother with the depression my organizing OCD compulsion has gone to the way side. It is amazing how quickly things pile up in just 6 months! All in all, I have to say it was cleansing. Gathering all the stuff that needed to go, baggin it up, and getting it out is kind of like all the sad, hurt and pain that I need to let go of and get
it bagged up and outta here! In between all the cooking and garage I actually managed to organize my closet. It looks so cool now! I should have done before and after pictures. Oh well.
It's been an emotional roller coaster weekend. I'm glad the ride is over.
Until next time Chicas!

School Decisions

2009-06-18T11:03:00.000-07:00

The other day at a pool party, talking with friends, we got into discussing schools for our children. Why is it, that these days we spend so much time dealing with which school our children will go to? Our parents didn't have this on their plate. They shipped us off to public school and off we went. All was well. Nobody questioned it. Nobody wondered if they were doing the right thing. I am spending HOURS and DAYS dealing with this decision this summer! It is driving me crazy!
Do we complicate matters for ourselves, or is life really this complicated nowadays??

Ah Ha Moment....

2009-06-15T12:33:00.000-07:00

So I stepped on the scale and things are not looking good.
I know I am now home FT. This is different. I was thinking
about how I felt when my brother passed. I literally had NO
appetite. That was the first time in my life that I have ever
truly felt such sorrow. I have suffered several MAJOR loses in
my life. Some I have never talked about. Even then I did not feel
like I did recently. I guess what I realized is that, "this moment" could
very well be the first time I have ever truly, truly, let my guard down
and let myself feel what I was feeling, and not hide behind a fake smile.
WOW!
I hope this revelation will lead me to why I chose food to cover/hide my
feelings. Is it to fill the empty void so many overweight people speak of?
My mind is spinning. I feel like I have made great strides, but I can't
explain it yet. Thank you Lord, for this revelation. I believe by me realzing
this I am ready to move forward and take another step. One step at a time...

The Period

2009-05-19T19:51:00.000-07:00

Yep. We are there. The time a mom thinks will come wayyyy down the road. Nope! Since 3rd grade the discussion began. At that time we went over what it was, what happens, how often, just the basics. I knew there would come a day that she would be ready for more information. The day came. Thankfully, I think I was a bit prepared with my "props." I had a sample of a panti-liner, regular pad with wings, super tampon, and a regular tampon. I had requested a sample from a freebie sight and it came with one of each. I stashed it and knew it would come in handy one day.
I had her bring a pair of her panties and we went over how to correctly place each one and what the "wings" are for, and when to use a pad vs a panti-liner....
Then the fun part began. She had been asking lots of questions, because apparently a classmate of her's walked through the rite of passage over the weekend. The poor thing started while swimming. My poor daughter was so worried that she would start one day while we were swimming. We swim about 3 times a week during the summer. She asked me if they have to drain the entire pool when that happens. I felt sooo bad that she had been so worried. Thank goodness, she only went through a few hours of agony and had the courage to come talk to me after school!!
Well, because of her friends incident she wanted to know about tampons. She heard you are suppose to use those when you go swimming. I opened one up and showed her how to insert it, just using my hands while explaining where it went. I then put it under running water and showed her how it expands and can possibly leak and why you need some protection even while wearing a tampon. I did tell her, for a few hours in the pool it would be ok, however be sure to tuck the string in so it is not noticeable. I also showed her how to position herself to make it easier if she wanted to try to use them. I don't keep any in the house, so I have no worries of her hurting herself or anything. She would have to ask me to buy some or of course, could get one from a friend at school.
Finally, I went over steps to take should it happen while she was at school. I gave her a pad and a pantiliner to keep in her locker. Even though there are only a few days of school left, I could tell it gave her tons of peace of mind. Me on the other hand is now freaking out that my just turned 10 baby girl is growing up faster than I am ready for!!

Good Gathering

2009-05-17T16:43:00.000-07:00

I've been on facebook (fb) for awhile now. I recently got reconnected to a fried from elementary school. She led to a cascade effect of friends from High School, Jr High and Elementary. It has been fun seeing where people live now and who has how many kids and what career paths some ended up walking down.
Back in February, I spontaneously met up with Victor, and we went to Dick's Last Resort for a super fun night of ELVIS impersonators! What a blast that was. So last night, he held a small intimate gathering at his house for some super yummy "Chico's Tacos!"
Now, if you are not from EL Paso, you most likely do not understand the hype about these tacos. You can only find them in El Paso. They are super cheap! When we were growing up we would go out and party like rock stars and take the last few dollars you could scrape up and get a full tummy on a double order with extra cheese! My mouth is watering just typing this...
Victor went to ELP over Mother's Day weekend and brought back some tacos for us!
What a sweetheart! He apparently showed great restraint not eating them all up during the week. Just between us, I don't believe him. HeHeHe
I think he just bought extra. I know I would have!!
When we arrived at his house, he opens the door and had on a actual "Chico's Tacos" t-shirt! It was too funny. He actually brought back the paper bowls and everything to make it as authentic as possible. My husband didn't really understand what the hype was all about. I told him, I guess maybe we are tasting the memories. Not sure, but they are yummy. Don't get me wrong. It's not like gourmet yummy. It's like, that funky, craving you get over something that only you understand.
I'm glad we went. It was a beautiful evening outside on his patio. We came back home and found that Carson had frosted her cake, but didn't cut it, cuz she wanted us to see it. It was so cute, but she was wiped out and asleep when we got home.
She got to cut her cake with her Bff Nicole today, so all was well!

And the Angels Sang.....

2009-05-14T19:22:00.000-07:00

I'm referring to what happened when I walked into the gym for the first time in several months! Yes, I said months. Obviously running into my water instructor at Costco was not enough to get my butt back in gear. What did it? I have been having swelling in my left lower leg. It has been going on for literally years!! It gets better and then gets worse. I literally can have it an inch bigger than the other leg. Yes, I'm a nurse. We measure things like this. : )
I went to the Dr and had a doppler study done. I've had one done years ago and they were not concerned. Well, this time he tells me that there is "back pooling" in both my legs, but it is worse on the left. JOY! Then he says... I think it looks blue. WHAT? NO, it doesn't! I admit when it gets really swollen it does look horrible. The day I went to see him was not so bad. Oh well, there ya have it. The thought of losing my leg, or legs finally got me moving again.
I'm still pretty depressed. I thought I was doing better and today, as I was walking out of the locker room I see my water instructor. (Racheal) She is the same one I ran into at Costco... She only teaches on Mondays, so she had just worked out herself. I said, HI and she was happy to see me at the gym. She said something towards me not having been in such a long time and I finally told her that I had lost my brother. She polietly said, she was sorry about that... and then it happens... I start tearing up!!! I couldn't believe it! I thought I was coming to a point where I could talk about it and not cry... Maybe I'm just PMS'ing?
In the meantime, I have desperately been trying to keep myself busy with easy mindless work. Carson's teacher asked me to help decorate their classroom for "college week." She picked UT, so it was longhorn city! The great thing is, that we worked so hard, WE WON! I say, "we" cuz when you go for 5 hours on a Saturday and spend 2 more days during school hours.. that is a "we" project!
She took pics of the Principal and VP's and put their faces on cheerleaders.
It was so funny and cute!

Award Time!!

2009-05-04T07:54:00.001-07:00

I had been saving this news for a rainy day. After the weekend I had, I most definitely need some cheering up! A dear friend MaBunny gave me my first award!
Just want to say "Muchas Gracias conejita!" I think I am suppose to pass to 10 other bloggers? I am not much of a follower.... I'll figure something out.
It's a sisterhood award, which is great, cuz I need more sisters in my life.

An Old Friend.....

2009-04-14T13:54:00.001-07:00

I was out of my usual shopping territory today. Why? Because I drive all over America and shop where and when the desire happens to hit me. Okay... Well, to my surprise I hear my name being called. I turn around and I see an old friend of mine. You know how people come and go in our lives and not that any bad blood is between you, for some strange reason you lose touch. For us, I think it was when we moved churches. Anyway, we used to be pretty close back when. She underwent the bypass surgery and has had great success with it. (I don't know about the inside but she looks GREAT on the outside) Anyway, every time I happen to run into her, I end up feeling down. Like, that could be me. Why didn't I do it back then? For some strange reason it had a profound affect on me today. When I got to the car I called dh and told him how I felt. Being the great hubster that he is, he said, "you never know. You could have been the one that had all the horrible side effects, or died from it." His words did make me feel a bit better.
Ahhh, as the saying goes. Two steps forward, one step back.....

Spring Fever

2009-04-08T10:02:00.000-07:00

Is spring fever when you just don't want to do anything? You just want to enjoy the beautiful weather. Take a nice cozy nap under a tree, with just the perfect breeze, ever so slightly blowing. Ahhhhhhh That's how I feel today. I've been up since 6am. Scratched off some things from the to-do list. I'm ready for a nap! I don't have time. I am going to meet a friend at Denny's for that "free" Grand Slamwich deal. Yeah, buy one get one free. Maybe it won't be too crowded. Maybe I'll power nap instead...... Ahh, to snooze or not to snooze? That is the question.

Keeping It Real !

2009-04-04T13:05:00.000-07:00

I have been doing a bit more blog cruising lately. I made a decision. I am going to keep it real. I am finding that so many blogs are just "life is so fun, and perfect." Well, it's not, and we all know it. I want to keep my blog real and share what is going on in my life. That is why I started doing this. I am a difficult nut to crack. I will admit that. For some reason, I am better able to communicate with my fingers than with my mouth. Go figure. I really do want to share my "journey." Part of that sharing is the up hill and down hill battles.
I currently am dealing with a major uphill battle, which is dealing with my brothers passing. There is not an area in my life that has not been affected by it. Financially, Physically, Emotionally, you name it! I love to swim. If you swim, you will be able to understand my next statement. I am now feeling like, when you jump into a deep pool, hit the bottom, and instead of pushing yourself off the pool floor and speeding up your descent, you just slowly..... look up.. see the sun shining through the water and feel yourself slowly start floating up. I just don't have any "umph" left in me to push myself off the pool floor. I'm okay with that, because for almost 2 months I felt like I was laying on the bottom of the pool floor weighted down by something so heavy and large, that all my strength would never be able to get it off me. Thank you Heavenly Father, for not giving up on me, even when I was angry and hurt!!

Dance Till Ya Can't Dance No More!

2009-04-03T09:56:00.000-07:00

Earlier I posted I was dancing in the rain. Well, it seems FINALLY
the rain is letting up. At least for today... I will be thankful for this ray of hope, beam of sunshine. I guess I am coming to grips with the fact that God is doing some major stuff with me this year. Nothing I didn't need. I don't like to live in denial. So, for today, I am gonna dance til I can't dance no more baby!
I am getting frustrated that I can't get a good enough block of time in my day to do what I need to do. I spend so much time on the daw-gone road!! I think today ALONE I will have put 100 miles on my Suburban! YIKES! Did you notice gas is going up!?
Arrrr! Just when I was catching my breath.
Well, I tried to cancel my gym membership and guess what? Apparently, LA Fitness has some "loop" where the paperwork has to go in 20 days before your payment is due. Sooooo, now I have until May 7. BUT,... I paid first and last months payment so actually, I have a membership until June 7. Hmmm, what excuse will I come up with next? NONE! I better get my gluteus maximus in there. I also got to look up my "activity" and it's pitiful!~ No wonder I am seeing such
results. I am being realistic and giving myself a break due to my brother's passing. Slowly but surely as my mother says.
Well, for know I have a piece of the dance floor calling my name! I am crankin up the Jams today, and gonna drown myself in loud, upbeat music. Wish I had an awesome sound system in my truck, then I could compete with some of those cars that come up next to you and you feel your car start vibrating. HA! Just had a funny visual. I'm jamming out loud and proud to Miley Cyrus and pull up to one of them cars...
Hope that puts a smile on your face, like it did mine! : )

Crazy Mother Nature!?

2009-03-28T18:16:00.000-07:00

Mother nature has been in a weird mood lately! It's like she can't make up her mind.
We get teased with this gorgeous, and I do mean gorgeous weather. The kind of weather that makes you want to play hookie from work, and just soak up that just perfect sunshine! The get out and walk the dog, play with the kids, sit an read a book under a tree weather, the kind of day you read about in books that take an entire page to describe it's perfectness, is the kind of days we got teased with. Let me get something straight here, it was a tease. Just a few. Nothing that would make us put all our eggs in one basket, as we say here in the south.
Suddenly, HOLY FIRECRACKER BATMAN! IT's freeeeeeezing outside!!! Not just cold, but cold and windy!! I have a friend in Amarillo. The last time we chatted they had gotten 18 inches of snow and the visibility was about zero. Did I mention it's late MARCH? SNOW! TEXAS!? Who knows what is going on with mother nature. Perhaps she is not taking her ginko-bilboa and she forgot we are ahem, in SPRING? Here in north Texas this time of year, you usually hear "I've had my air conditioner on since February." My truck is so filthy, it looks like the vehicles you see on the news that have layers and layers of dirt on them after a bad storm. Every time, I think of giving Stella a bath, the weatherman tells me otherwise. I think I'm going to just run her through tomorrow, regardless. Who's Stella, you ask? My Suburban of course. Yes, she has a name. My other suburban was named Ethel. It was the older model with a HUGE gas tank. I loved it, cuz I could go almost forever without having to get gas. Not only that, prices weren't up in the sky then, like they are now.
On the "fitness" note. I think I am going to have to break down and cancel my gym membership. Tears, sniff, more tears. With me being "in between jobs" I need to cut back here and there, on a few little things that add up. I am dreading making the phone call, cuz those sales people can be pushy!! We all gotta make a living, I know. I am banking on some good walk outside weather that should be coming up here soon. Then we have the summer coming up, and I get to swim my heart out. I am counting on the offer of a generous couple I know, that don't mind me and my children invading their gorgeous pool. With the latest on the weather forefront, I'm afraid to think what this means about the type of summer we will have. We shall have to wait and see, wait and see, my chicas.

Suburban for sale or rent!!!

2009-03-20T14:52:00.000-07:00

I have that song in my head... trailer for sale or rent..
It would be because my suburban is driving me crazy!! After it breaking down TWICE on two separate trips it NOW has the "service engine" light on! Umm, yeah! Thought I just did that buddy! Well, cuz that's on, the hubster has grounded me to driving around here only. Do you know what a cramp that puts in my style!? If I was working I would probably not be so concerned. I would work an extra shift and get the thing fixed. Nope! Lucy, can't do that no more, Ricky!
Thank goodness we have found some things to do close buy this spring break. Usually, we are all over the place. I guess since we have also been sick, it's not hurt us that bad. I want whoever put the "voodoo" on my truck to take it off, NOW baby! I use that word jokingly of course. For some reason my daughter picked it up somewhere and now she thinks "voodoo" is some sort of common practice. I know she doesn't know what it really means. Trust me if I could do it, I would voodoo myself into a size 4!!
OMG! Talk about char ma! I was at Costco the other day and who do I see sitting there, eating a salad and pretzels??? (notice I reference the salad?) My water instructor!! We talked for a bit and she said, "it's been awhile, hasn't it?"
I didn't tell her what I was going through. I believe I ran into her for a reason, and that was my divine kick in the butt. I hear ya, big man! I am going to count on the fact that exercise helps relieve depression. (not sure if "relieve" is the right word there) I need some major relief! Ta Ta for now chicas!~~

Gotta Keep on, keeping on!

2009-03-15T12:58:00.000-07:00

Today marks the one month anniversary of my brothers passing. Through this past month I have recalled a conversation my brother and I had when he was about to undergo his amputation. (he had his right leg amputated just below the knee)
This was a troubling time for him. He had been trying to fight an infection and the infection was winning. The doctors tried all they could, but it came down to him having to lose part of his leg. He was crying when we talked and he asked me, "What am I going to do without a leg?" My reply was, "You have gotta keep on, keeping on!"
It was trying to be positive. I can't tell you how many times I have heard myself say those words this past month. Little did I know, those exact words would haunt me very soon.
Ever since he was hospitalized for the last time in late January I have had trouble sleeping. I am one that does not like light, music or anything to fall asleep with. I began using my IPOD to fall asleep with. My daughter had borrowed my IPOD and left it in my husbands car. For about a week I had been asking him to bring in my IPOD, because as life goes, I would only think of it when we were getting in bed and that would be late. Last night, he actually got out of bed and went to the car to get it for me. I guess he could sense I really needed it. Like I previously mentioned yesterday was a rough day! I turned on the IPOD and my daughter had left it on a Miley Cyrus album. I was flipping through the functions trying to find what I was going to listen to and the words caught my attention. I just broke down crying even more when I heard the entire song. It is titled I Miss you. It is off her Hannah Montana 2 CD.
So today in closing I just want to say, I miss you bro!

Where do I begin?

2009-03-14T14:17:00.000-07:00

The child is my brother when he was young.
The other picture is his pall bearers
carrying him out of the funeral home, to
take the long ride to the church.

I don't even know where to start. That also is so true in my life. Where do I start picking up the pieces? What do I do first to get my new life going?
My brother passed away peacefully in his home early on a Sunday morning.
February 15, 2009. He was just a couple of months away from turning 49. I still can't believe it, can't accept it. I don't want to except it. It is so complicated with my "immediate" family now. Having lost my father at age 17, my brother was also in the father figure role somewhat. The bigger and more important role he played in my life was that he was the "glue" that kept me tied to my sister. Now that my sister is going to be handling my mother's health, finances and all other matters it is going to be interesting. Her and I have never had this fabulous sister bond. I just pray. God knew what he was doing taking my brother at this time. I don't understand!! I thought I was doing better. Today, I have spent in bed crying, and crying. I feel sorry for my kids cuz they are on spring break. I have forced myself out of bed, gotten dressed and am now working on blogging which I have procrastinated about long enough. I didn't want to do it, because it's like when I get to the keyboard, my fingers have a life of their own. Words, just flow. I can express myself in a way which I can't vocally. It's a gift, a curse all at the same time. If I am dealing with a difficult issue, all I have to do is just sit down and type it out. It is as if I can see it better in black and white.
Losing my brother, my job, my best friend all at the same time has forced me to
"take stock" of my life. I am working on changing things, doing things I would not normally do. Good things, I'm not planning on taking up drugs or anything like that.
One thing I have done is entered a blogging contest that is linked to a radio station! That is so not me. I figured since I am better at putting my thoughts on paper so to speak, this was a great beginning. Wish me luck!

Dancing In The Rain

2009-02-13T20:24:00.000-08:00

I have a "blurb" if you will, on my facebook page. It reads: Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain. I have been waiting and waiting for this "storm" to pass. I am learning to dance in the rain now. I have to give glory to God today. Glory to God that my brother went to his home, to rest in his bed, for what will be his final days. My gut was telling me he was holding out for some reason. He has refused food for about 3 days now. He stopped taking his meds and refused them inserting a nasograstric (NG) tube. I just learned that he also wants his dialysis turned off now that he is home. I also know that Hospice is now involved. My sister-in-law is dealing with so much right now. My mother with her Parkinson's is not doing much better. We had to put Mom on Valium. Not fun. I can not, nor want to imagine what it would be like to see your son dying. My brother is her oldest child. This will leave only the "girls" in the family as my father has been gone for 23 years now.
My birthday was miserable!! I have never had such a birthday. I am glad that he did not go on my birthday. Mom's birthday is 2 wks from mine. The Dr said it could take anywhere up to 2 wks. I hope it does not go that long, for the sake of my brother and sister-in-law. I pray that he go peacefully, and without pain. I pray my sister-in-law have peace in her heart. I have had a headache for THREE consecutive days now. I know it is all stress.
On a brighter note. I mentioned in my previous post that God would take care of our needs. I just want to mention that we got an unexpected check in the mail!! It was not a large amount, but every penny helps. My husband also got an unexpected bonus this week. That too was not a large sum, but it helps. These 2 checks allowed me to pay 2 bills that were due. Praise God!!
I have always loved a slow gentle rainfall. I love standing there and feeling the raindrops gently wet your skin. I feel it is cleansing. I guess that is what is going on in my life right now. I have made some MAJOR changes in my life that I will talk about later, but I know I am NOW dancing in the rain!

41 Here I come!

2009-02-08T22:00:00.000-08:00

Here it is. The day before my 41st Birthday. I wish I could say I am excited. It has been a gloomy Sunday today. I am writing this in the wee hours of Monday morning, technically still my Sunday night. The news from El Paso regarding my brother is very depressing. This "waiting" for someone to die is truly so devastating. I have never been through anything like this in my life and hope I never have to again. When my father went, he had a brain aneurysm and went into a coma. Thrity three hours later it was over. It was a whirlwind. This is agony. The distance is sheer torture. Waiting for someone to return your call to give you an update is utterly frustrating. I am at the mercy of what, and how much my family chooses to share with me. I want to see it for myself! I want to be there! No, I don't want to see him in this condition. It was hard enough as it was, and all I know is that he looks 10 times worse. I have said from the get go that he is going on my birthday. We will see. It appears we are just days away now. He proposed to his wife (then gf) on my birthday. Silly, brother! What is he trying to say? I guess as far as birthday presents go, I can look at it from this point of view: What a better present than going home to heavan on your birthday can a person give you? I have not had the energy to go to the gym. I have been in a fog, mentally and physically. I am physically, emotionally and financially drained. We will have to make another trip to El Paso when the time comes. I am a firm believer that God knows our needs before we ask him to fulfill them. I have asked for what we need, and am now believeing he will fulfill our needs above and beyond. I will be stronger for this. I will be wiser, most of all I know I will be sad for a very long time.

Tough Times

2009-02-04T12:12:00.000-08:00

I am trying to think positive. It's difficult. As a church goer, believer if you will, you are suppose to learn something, get stronger, and grow when tough times come your way. Well, HAVE MERCY!! I am having a MAJOR GROWTH SPURT!!! I must say
it is accompanied with massive growing pains. I thought I was going to make it through today without crying....... NOPE. I started this blog because my brother was very ill with his diabetes. I knew I had to do something about my health, because I do not want to walk down the same road. Well, now it seems we are at or near the end of his road. He has been in the hospital for 11 days now with no improvement. There is not a day that goes by where he does not receive some sort of blood product, be it blood or platelets. He continues on his IV Antibiotics that he has been on for over 2 months, for a MRSA infection. He has C-diff in his intestine. He is no longer able to control his body. He can't turn himself in bed, put his foot up. He does move his arms. His color is yellow, his arms and legs are thinning out. He does not want to eat. He is irritable and grumpy as all get out!! I have to smile as I type that, my gosh does he give his nursing staff H*ll!! I talked to one RN and told her, give it back to him! LOL It pains me greatly to see him in this state. He so does not deserve to die this way. Nobody does. Everyday he is in agony, humiliated, embarrassed, and in constant pain. He is on dialysis 10-24 hours/day. He is taking a mountain of pills per day. I had not been out to El Paso in about 6 years. I did not want to see him in this condition. When he called and asked Christopher to be his pallbearer, I knew it was time to go!! That decision has cost my job, and I would do it again in a heartbeat!! He got to see his niece and nephew which he was longing to see. The family is pulling together slowly, so maybe that will be the positive out of this. I have NEVER been one of those Chica's that doesn't eat when emotional. I am now.... It is strange to have no appetite. I am reminding myself that I can't let this consume me. It is difficult. Being so far apart and being a "caretaker" I want to be there and take care of him. I have not been to the gym... I have connected with a workout partner. We have not hooked up at the gym yet. Amazing, last year I would have never thought I would be preparing myself to say goodbye to my brother. If this doesn't motivate me to take better care of myself nothing will..........

Ice Ice Baby!!

2009-01-27T07:55:00.000-08:00

Well, after a few days of gorgeous get out and walk the dogs weather we are expecting to get some ICE today! yee-ha! sarcasm, sarcasm, sarcasm....
I did get out and walk 3 times last week. They were good long walks and
I felt good about them. This week will be challenging. We also have a
new member to our family! We adopted a toy poodle names "Lucky!" He is really
cute. I don't know how it will go walking three dogs all at once. I normally
consider myself part Eskimo cuz I love the cold weather, but I have had enough!!
I want sunshine, green grass and sunny days by the pool. Bring it on! My challenge this week is to come up with exercises that I can do in home. I do still have my
gym membership and trying to get a workout partner is proving to be harder than
I thought!! I will not give up though! I will prevail!!

Soapbox.....

2009-01-20T12:02:00.000-08:00

I have to vent for a bit, because if I don't then I will probably eat my frustration. I already went to IHOP for breakfast this morning, so I don't
need to misbehave the rest of the day.
Ok, here goes. This OBAMA thing... I tend to have a rule about not talking
religion/spirtuality or politics with people I'm not married too. I am
breaking this rule today. I just don't get it people! All this "history is
being made," "we have come so far" makes me feel like we are focusing on
EXACTLY what we are suppose to not be focused on... THE COLOR OF HIS SKIN!!!
I fell like shouting, HELLO! We obviously have made NO progress if all
the excitement is over a "black" president and not a "well qualified"
president, who happens to be black!? Furthermore is he really "black"?
I have brown skin, yes I do! I am Hispanic, Mexican-American, or Latin call
it what you want. I call myself an AMERICAN! Arrr! I feel my heartbeat
rising... Ok, so maybe you ask... did Chica vote for OBAMA? Obviously, NO!
You might think I am being bitter cuz my guy didn't win, yeah so?! ha ha
Don't get me wrong, I want what is best for this country. At this moment
I am having a really tough time jumping on the halleluiah, we have come so far
wagon. Am I the only one that has this perspective?
Ok, there. I can say it doesn't feel as good as a king size snickers, but I will
be happy that I vented and didn't eat my candy bar in front of the tv yelling
at Charles Gibson. : )

Facelift

2009-01-16T21:40:00.000-08:00

What do you think? I've been wanting to do this for a long time and just have not done it. I went with hearts not for valentines, but because I LOVE myself!! Yee-ha, Woo Hoo and Yippe I Ay! Ok, so I am at least making an effort. I am also working on a "workout" partner. Lots of stuff in the works. lol I feel like this year will bring about many changes if "I" let it. I am the only one that is holding myself back, and I now realize that. Years ago in nursing school we went to a summer camp in Colorado. It was beautiful and I have to say one of the key moments in my life. We had to do this "obstacle" course if you will.... It involved swinging from one tall tree to another with the harness on you and holding on to a wire, it had a rope bridge that you had to cross and at the end it had a bar about 2-3 feet out. You were suppose to jump and grab the bar and the people on the ground would slowly let you down. This was not only physically challenging but mentally challenging. It was moving, it was life changing. I wish I could say I jumped... I didn't! What a bummer. I did sit on the board and slide off and they lowered me to the ground.
I don't consider it a failure since I did complete the course and being of my weight I think that is pretty remarkable! I don't have pictures of it, I wish I did. They are however forever etched in my mind. I feel as if I am on this course and am coming upon the end, and this time I need to jump by golly! Wish me luck!

Seems familiar

2009-01-14T14:55:00.000-08:00

It always happens, just when you get yourself psyched up and ready to go...
BAM! You get sick! Yep! Not able to keep anything in.... I've been in bed
for 2 days now. I hate missing such a gorgeous day out especially when I know
tomorrow is going to be freezing! So what is it, feed a cold? starve a fever?
or does this nurse have it backwards? It doesn't matter, I'm going to go try
and make chicken soup. Not the open the can kind either, the throw everything
in a pot and the sheer thought of homemade chicken soup should provide
healing powers. Yeah, sure! We shall see what happens.....

Here we go again...

2009-01-12T19:32:00.000-08:00

I have not given up! I will not give up! I will not give up! I have been trying really hard to work on "loving" myself as I am. My gosh, so much easier said than done. I think nurses are excellenct examples of people that take such good care of others but neglect themselves. So many in this profession are overweight, and smokers. I don't think you can say the same thing about Doctors. Maybe because they work so many darn crazy hours they somehow stay in shape that way?
This time of year it is so interesting all the gym commercials and weight loss commercials that start popping up. I really wish I could talk to Wyonna Judd. Alli? Really? Come on! I have to share a hilarious story about Alli and why I think so negatively about it.
As any place where there are many females topics of just about anything go! There was a nurse on our unit that decided she needed to lose a few pounds and would try Alli. Let me just say, she was not your typical overweight girl. She is one of the smart ones that pays attention to when she gains a few pounds and takes action so she can maintain a healthy weight. This girl is crazy and will divulge ANY information about her private life. Hence, why this story was pretty much public knowledge. So, she is at work one day and has taken her Alli. As it warns, she had "flatulance" issues. Gas for lay terms. She thought she found a quiet spot to relieve herself, when to her surprise it was not just "gas" that came out!!!
Yep! You guessed it! As they say in the movie Along Came Polly, she "sharted!"
Luckily it was not a large amount, but nonetheless she did have to change her clothing which is a warning on the bottle!! It tells you to be prepared that you may have to be with a change of clothes while you are on it. It happens when you don't follow a healthy diet and if you eat anything high in fat, etc. Yeah, I can laugh at this because it did not happen to me. Heavens forbid you are somewhere that it is difficult for you to cover up or get away. NO THANKS! I guess I see Alli as a form of medication that causes unpleasantness like the medication that people take when they are not suppose to drink (Antabuse). I will keep going... one step at a time.

Blonde Moment

2008-12-28T19:51:00.000-08:00

I swear I had typed up a really nice "summary" of the year and poof! It's gone. I thought it saved itself. Guess not. Oh well. I am at a loss for words when it comes to my lack of progress. All I can say is, I do hope that maybe this year I have made some "emotional" progress. I do believe all that must be in line regardless of what you do to take the weight off, if you don't work on the inside it will come back.
I know now, I had talked in my imaginary post about how I always manage to lose weight during the holidays. Not like massive amounts, but I don't gain. Am I happier at this time? Truth be told, the holidays are an emotional
h*ll for me. We don't have family anywhere within 600+ miles of us. I feel I have to make the most of it for the children. I hope they will grow up with some memories of decorating, gingerbread houses and the such. I never do as much as I have planned or as much as I want to do.
I have to work tomorrow, for the first time since THANKSGIVING! Wow! How blessed am I?! I will say if anything this year I am (it's a process with me) learning that "I" am worth something! I deserve good things, and most of all, I am learning to LOVE myself as I am. That is very difficult even to "blog." I bring that point up, because I do deserve a wonderful husband that works hard to provide for his family so that I don't have too. (keep repeating........)
I am blessed and thankful for the life I have!
whew.... that is a long way off from where I started with my blonde moment story.

How time flies.......

2008-12-20T09:54:00.001-08:00

Ok, are we having fun yet??? I was trying to add up how much money I have spent on gym fees this year, vs how much weight I have lost.... Not enlightening! To make matters even better it has been freezing cold. The thought of jumping into the pool, heated or not, does not sound pleasant. Yesterday I threw out my back, picking up what probably could be the lightest package Amazon has ever delivered.
I refuse to give up! Just flat out refuse!! By golly, I am gonna climb this darn
blasted Everest if it's the last thing I do!!

Can you guess what this is?

2008-12-01T17:21:00.000-08:00

Here is a list:
3 slices of pizza
one bluetooth ear piece
lip gloss
perfume
coin purse
cell phone
diary
graded school papers

Can you guess what it is? It's "some" of the contents inside my 9yos purse! crazy huh?! yep, Pizza! She had these pictures of pizza, almost actual size that were laminated. I thought it was hilarious.
One the fitness note: My asthma has come on full force. I was just outside for no more than 5 minutes taking a peek at the spectacular event in the sky tonight. It was a three way conjunction of Venus, Jupiter and the crescent moon. It literally was right outside our front door!!! Kinda spooky actually. Amazing sight though, when you know what you are looking at. It will not appear that way again until 1952

Anyway, I had to come in, because my airway was not happy with the cold air. I lost my voice in just that short time! I was even having shortness of breath.... so back to bed I go. We were planning to go out to dinner, but the boys vetoed that after I came in. : (

Sharing a GREAT tip!

2008-11-23T18:38:00.000-08:00

Ok, so they say charma is a *itch. I know this to be true. A few weeks ago there was a coworker of mine sharing how she had a "critter" in her garage. She is single, extremely girly girl, and very umm how should I put this... skit-ish.
Yeah. good word. She went on to tell us how she only had a broom and her car in her garage and she could see the critter here and there. Of course as goes anything with an audience EVERYONE had some sort of input for her. Someone mentioned the tractor supply. Well, I have explained how girly girl she is and so I made a comment about the visual of her walking into a tractor supply and if she even knew what that was.
Soooooooo, the next week I am off to work and pulling out of the drive way and WHAT do I see scamper across the garage floor??? YOU GUESSED IT! A critter! ERRRRRR!
So I told DH we had a visitor. As "charma" goes, the visitor happened to get stuck in the master bedroom wall. Am I sure of this? YEP! Without a doubt! As I now know that these "critters" are nocturnal, I did not sleep for days. I could here this thing clawing and clawing at the wall, trying to get up or out or something. It would just go wild at night. Of course I was more afraid that it would get out because the noise was right behind a phone jack. JOY~
As nature goes, it FINALLY died. Well, I was not prepared for what came next.....
THE SMELL!! At first I asked DH if he was okay, cuz there was this stench coming from the bathroom. (the phone jack is just on the other side of the master bath)
He laughed and informed me of what it was and of what was to come. We tried candles, arm and hammer with NO success. I finally went to the internet and searched for an answer. I found a site that briefly mentioned some rocks sold at home depot and how they worked and were only $6! Well, at this point I was ready to do about anything.
Off to the depot we go. DH is home taking a nap... with the smell I don't know how. We stop and ask a group of about FIVE employees to direct us to what we are looking for. First they swear they don't sell such a thing. Then one lady tells me if it's rocks, it's in the garden section. ie. just get outta here lady. Then after checking the cleaning aisle, the kill critters section and not finding anything we head to the garden section. My children now ready to leave ask yet another employee who once again says they don't sell such a thing. As a typical woman, not wanting to take NO for an answer I ask one more employee. He quickly says, sure let me show you where. (may many, many blessings come this man's way!!) He leads us back to the cleaning aisle where I begin to think they must be out of whatever I'm looking for because we had searched this aisle. Well... on the very top shelf there was an edge of a box with the word GONZO across it. Insert heavenly angles singing here. lol He lead us right to it! GLORY GLORY GLORY!!! I bought TWO bags, just in case. It is these rocks or pellets or something in a mesh bag. You never take them out of the mesh and apparently these things last forever. When you feel they are not working anymore put them in the sun for a few hours and ta da, you are good to go again. I am here to tell ya, IT WORKS! It does nto smell like death in here anymore.
So, yet another lesson learned........

Push up's in the park

2008-11-21T20:06:00.000-08:00

Brrrr! Someone turn the heat up. My gosh, it was just yesterday I was doing push ups on the playground equipment and today I would not dream of touching any metal outside for fear of frost bite. Okay, okay, so I exaggerate just a tad. It is the coldest day for north Texas so far this Fall. It feels good. It was 45 degrees and sunny today and I think that was a PERFECT temp! Yeah, what can I say I'm part Eskimo I guess. I will say that I got a better workout at the park doing my push ups on the park equipment than at the gym. I'm sure if anyone watched me, they would have gotten quite a chuckle. I had our big 100 lb dog with me on his long leash and out of curiosity he decided he needed to get up close and personal to see exactly what I was doing. He got right under me and looked right up at me as if to say, "Mom, do you know what you're doing?"
I did not go to my water class today because we had dental cleaning appointments today. (Dh and I) The kids got out of school at noon, so after we drove into the Big D, we had to drive right back out and head to the school for pick up time.
The kids are on break for an entire 9.5 days... but who's counting right? : )

I need a Village!

2008-11-11T14:58:00.000-08:00

Ever heard that saying, "It takes a village?" I think I have finally figured that I am not going to be able to do this on my own. Sad, I know. I discovered I am not wonder woman. bummer. I figured that anything I have ever set out to do and attain, has not been on my own. I went to nursing school, that took going to class, clinicals, study groups, labs, etc etc. I also am a licensed cosmetologist. That too, took going to classes and lots of practice. My grand ephiany has lead me to decide I need a trainer, nutrionist, work out buddy, therapist (he he), stylist that will make sure I don't look like a dork in 80's workout gear, and a personal chef!
I am taking applications and will be conducting interviews asap! Keep ya posted....

Ahem.... Not so Savvy, I am!

2008-11-01T13:42:00.001-07:00

ok, perhaps I need to S L O W down and check stuff. The link I linked you to, includes to http:// sets, you can backspace on one set and get to the site that way, OR click here Heavens help me, if I didn't get it right this time!

I will survive!

2008-11-01T13:31:00.000-07:00

Shout out to Gloria Gaynor (sp)!!! It's officially the holiday shopping time according to me. The day after Halloween is when I start to panic!! What do I get? How much do I spend? Most of all........ WHERE DO I BEGIN??? I thought this year I would be smart. ahem..... YEP! I'm starting online! So far, I started by looking up giveaways. That will help tremendously! Need $25 towards an Amazon purchase? Who doesn't right? click here I'm headed back out there people....... cyber land here I come!

Date Day!! What the heck is that??

2008-10-17T21:13:00.000-07:00

OMG! Can you believe it? DH and I actually went out on a D A T E! I can't remember the last time we did that. I call it date "day" cuz he has Friday's off so we did stuff during the day. The entire family, minus the dogs, got in the Suburban and off to school we went this morning. After dropping off the "lil blessings" we went to breakfast. Well, let me give some detail. I was driving, so I saw a garage sale sign, detoured to the sale, then detoured through a really pretty neighborhood I had never driven through, THEN we headed to Cracker Barrel. Only probably was that by now DH was just STARVING!! He takes his cell phone out of his pocket and checks the time. Umm, like it doesn't show up on the lil LED clock on the dash? Whateva! He said I was driving too slow and taking the "scenic" route. LOL Basically, he was bored. Ok, we go to Cracker Barrel, and I completely ate whatever I wanted. Yep, I confess. Even ordered a side of that yummie hashbrown casserole. We went to the bank afterwards. Then we went to run an errand he had to take care of. Then as is tradition with "us" we had a big fight. Umm, we hardly go anywhere or do anything without this happening. Annoying, I know. So after that, I just wanted to "end the date" and go home. We had planned on going to the shooting range, but never got there. I needed a nap to cool off. He ran some errands and brought home a cake for me. Yes, this was totally the not eat anything healthy day. He had asked me how he could make it up to me and I wanted cake. After my nap, it was time to get the kiddos. They had a bday sleepover party tonight. We dropped them off and went to dinner and a movie. If you have not seen Nights at Rodanthe (sp?) OMG, grab a GF and some kleenex and go! Great movie. Tear jerker, but good. All in all it was a good day. We got to spend some time together and did get adult talk time. Funny, cuz we got home a bit after 9pm! LOL I thought, OMG, I remember when that was the time a date "STARTED!"

Got Pocketbook??

2008-10-12T16:16:00.000-07:00

Do you LOVE purses?? I do. Only my problem is, I like the high dollar ones. The really cute, rare, unique kind. I so don't like having a purse "just like everyone else." Drives me crazy!! There is a giveaway going on, to win a free purse, just check it out!! click here Ok, so I grew up calling them "purses." I have a good friend from the big apple that calls them pocketbooks. Yeah, she says it with a funny NY accent. She says "I" talk funny. I don't think so. Ain't that right ya'll wink wink. So, it cracks me up when we first meet and she kept referring to her pocketbook. I kept thinkin' she was referring to her wallet?! Nope, to her, pocketbook = purse. Go figure! I guess there is the whole "handbag" issue as well. I guess what you call it must be related to where you grew up.

Model Home Tours

2008-09-28T13:48:00.000-07:00

It's Sunday, isn't that what you are suppose to do? I am one of those crazy people that love to walk through other people's houses and see where they put all their stuff, how they store it. Hmm, that's a good idea, putting a chair there, like that. I get inspired! Sometimes they are a disappointment. Today we set out to our old stompin' ground. The popular "Lakewood" area in Dallas. I LOVED living there. I miss it, but I know that chapter in my life has come and gone. I lived there when I was single and there are great, fun memories that go along with driving up and down the ol familiar streets. Nonetheless, they have some money in that area. BIG money, let me tell ya. Today we toured a 1.2 MILLION dollar home. Just to know what they look like in the inside is so fun. We spotted another open house on our way to the original we set out to see. It was occupied. The owner was still home, even though we arrived well with in the time frame that was listed on their sign. The agent was on the phone the entire time we were there, and it was not busy. We know about this party she is going to once she is done with the open house. Oh yea, and their dogs were home too. It was hilarious, like we stepped into a What Not to do when you hold an open house. They had some good decorating ideas. We toured a few others and they were not furnished. Not as fun, but with them being double the price of the first going in and out of so many rooms was fun. We were ready to walk out of one and I realized there was still an entire section we missed!! My point to this is I think I got some exercise today. Going up and down stairs, I had to burn some calories? My allergies/asthma has decided to trouble me today. I have drugged up and am going to take a Texas sized nap! I need to make it to water class tomorrow. Hope ya'll are having a restful Sunday.

6547 Sondra
Available Spring 2008
$1,200,000
4889 sq.ft.
5 Bedroom/5 Bath/ Library/Computer Work Room/ Gameroom/ Media/ Covered Outdoor Living with fireplace/Walk-in pantry/Butler's pantry/Wine Cellar/Wet Bar/Master up has sitting area w/fireplace/Porte Cochere/3 car Tandem Garage

No Challenge means NO CHANGE!!

2008-09-22T09:17:00.000-07:00

These are some words that keep repeating in my head. They came from my Monday water class instructor. She is so cute and bubbly, makes me just wanna dunk her in the pool. j/k For some reason that phrase just turned a light bulb on in me. Thanks Racheal! I'm feeling really blue today. Not sure why? I am glad I already went to the gym or else it would NOT happen today. Hmm, maybe cuz I have to work this week. Not sure. I think I dread the day after I work. That day when I look around and see that this and that has piled up there. Over here has not been cleaned, the stuff that is all over the place that did not get put away. WHY? WHY? WHY? It's kinda like today. On Monday, I feel like the house is a wreck! Why must I always need order? Why does clothes on the floor bother me? Why does washed clothes that has not been put folded, much less put away DRIVE ME CRRRRRAZY!!! I have to say that is one of my biggest pet peaves. I can let go of other areas of the house and if someone else does it and it's not exactly to my liking, I'll be ok. NOT when it comes to the laundry!! Stay out of my laundry room!! I guess no challenge means no change can be applied to other areas, like house cleaning. Yeah, whateva! My aching bodd is calling for food. Must go take care of my basic needs. ciao

I want my SEXY back!

2008-09-19T11:47:00.000-07:00

I was reading this magazine that got mailed to us, I don't know how or why, it's about high dollar living, with details about all these super expensive stores in Dallas that I have never even heard of!! Anyhow, just not being able to fit into any of that kind of clothes got me thinking, "I want my sexy back!!" ya know! I just want to feel good about myself again. I am coming to grips with the fact that I will not be a size 4, nobody in my family extended or immediate has ever been that size. I am going to be ok, with having a "bigger" (if you will) body that most people. I want to be fit. I want to be off soooooo many medications I am on now. I want to be able to fit into pretty clothes that DON'T have an elastic waist band! I want to wear matching bra and panties like I used too!!! I want my feet not to hurt when I wear shoes other than my teeny shoes.
Ironically, out of nowhere my son starts talking about how it can take YEARS to climb Mount Everest. The statement threw me off. I immediately went to telling him how it doesn't take years to climb it, but it may take years to PREPARE to climb it. You have to get in shape. You have to plan. You have to organize. I know not many average people can just jump up and say, "Hey, let's climb Mount Everest this weekend." God brings us these little "zappers" I call them. Little lessons completely unexpected, unplanned, and out of unusual places. Isn't he wonderful!?
I know I am working on the "outside" of my body, but for the first time, I really feel like I am moving mountains on the inside!!

Never Fails!

2008-09-14T17:36:00.000-07:00

I did good two weeks in a row. Then this week? I only went to the gym once. arrr!!
discipline! I need discipline. I must say, I have a problem with commitment.
I need an awesome workout buddy. I think I will start praying for that. One that can lift, lead and guide me. It has to be a good match. I will do the same in return. Somehow I guess it's true... misery loves company. I need someone to be miserable with me at the gym. I think I'll try and walk the dogs this evening. After being "hunkered down" due to Ike, we could all use the fresh air.

Slacker, slacker, slacker!

2008-09-11T20:30:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it's been so long. I have done well with the gym the last two weeks. I got an awful sinus infection and then had to go back to the dentist for my follow up crown procedure and all that threw my workouts off. Life is rolling along. It seems we are going to get some winds and rain from Hurricane Ike this weekend. I hope it decreases in strength like the other one did.
It is just my luck, a procedure that should be done in two dental visits is taking "me" FOUR! My permanent crown was defective and had to be sent back, so I have to go back yet again........ JOY!
I am keeping in mind what one trainer I had told me awhile back, 80% is diet and 20% is exercise. I hate to admit it, but when I get going to the gym I love the way I feel afterwords. Like I accomplished something. I did something for myself. Don't get me wrong, it hurts! it stinks! When I'm in class I tell myself, this is 50min of 24 hours that you are taking to make your life better. Give it your all! It seems to be helping.

One BUSY week!

2008-08-23T10:37:00.001-07:00

Whew! We made it! We did it! We survived the first week of school. Of course it would not be Chica's life if I did not complicate it. I signed up to work two 12hr shifts this week. What was I thinking??!! Not only did I have to arrange drop off in the am, but pick up in the afternoon. Of course I made the usual, new school year resolution... I WILL GO TO THE GYM AFTER I DROP OFF THE KIDS IN THE MORNING! Hmmm, yeah. That worked well. I will say that I at least bagged my swim bag on Monday... I talked myself out of it. I wish I could remember why now. Trust me at the time I had a good reason. Friday, I had a dentist appointment to get my temporary crown put in. I would rather go to the GYN doctor twice in one day, than go to the dentist! That's how much I dislike that experience. I literally was freaked to the point of nausea. There was no way, I was jumping and stretching. My appointment was in the city (The big D) and I had to make sure I got there on time, so I left as soon as I dropped off the kids at school. I was actually a few minutes early. Yeah, me! I must say, that this dentist is EXCELLENT! Him and his assistant kept telling me how good I did. I think I may have to actually change how I feel about going to the dentist. I'll keep ya posted in two weeks, when I go back for the actual crown. Oh yea, one more thing. Guess how much this lovely crown is costing me when all is said in done. Over 1,000!!! We have insurance, YES! I keep thinking of things I could do with that money. Well, my mother always said, you can't put a price on your health. Good clean teeth that will last for your life are a good thing to have.

Farewell Summer Days....

2008-08-13T08:01:00.000-07:00

It's approaching. Whether I want it too or not! The laid back, non-structured, stay in your jammies, sleep late, stay up till whenever you want, eat breakfast at noon, don't care if you comb your hair days will be gone in just a few days. School starts Monday. As far as "prep" stuff the kids are ready. School supplies, uniforms, backpacks, all that has been ready long time ago. Now it's just time to MENTALLY prepare. I'm nervous! Carson ended the school year with anxiety issues and mild panic attacks. I keep asking her to tell me if anything went wrong? Nope. Nothing, she says. All of a sudden it's like the umbilical cord has been re-attached. She doesn't want to leave my side. She will only stay over at ONE friends house. Not like her at all. To top it off Nicole is not in her class. OMG! Major crisis. I am praying, and we are talking everyday, about school and how it will be fun, exciting etc etc. She is not convinced. We were out and about running errands yesterday and we both have been under the weather. She said she wanted a cake. I said, ok! She wanted a Busy B's Bakery cake, not just any cake. Fine, no problem. I had been craving a cake from there myself, but trying to keep the sugar down, had not even verbalized it. Funny, how she picked that up. We walk into the bakery and there it was. The perfect cake to end the summer with. The lady laughed when I told her what I wanted written on it. She thought it was perfect. So here's a pic of our "Farewell Summer Days" flip flop cake. It's yummie btw!
I've only had ONE piece. I'm about ready to pass some out to the neighbors, just so I will not be tempted.

Subtle Changes

2008-07-28T20:35:00.000-07:00

("Queso" takes a drink from the horse trough)
I have been trying very hard to keep "refined sugar" out of the house this summer.
I had a house sitter that told me it looked like we were moving, because the pantry was 1/2 empty! She knows I usually keep lots of treats/snacks ready at hand. I have not had cake mix, cookie mix, or cookie dough in there all summer. With the heat, I still need to work on the ice cream....
My daughter had a friend over today and when we had lunch I realized the only "snack" I could offer them was fresh fruit! WOW! what a change. One of the major areas that will make a BIG difference is activity. I need to come up with things to do in this heat with the kids. We are all about "swimmed" out. What horrible English. LOL
Tonight for dinner I baked Mahi Mahi and white rice. I know I could have done brown rice, but I didn't have any and even if I did, I did not have the time to cook it. It takes forever. That's still better than a burger and fries. I have a few weeks to work with my kids and get them back into the swing of school.
We went to the school and dropped off some paperwork, in order to avoid the horrendous lines at orientation. I am sooo not ready to start that daily 2 hr drive thing! Arrrrrrrr!

Who turned the heat up??

2008-07-27T19:43:00.000-07:00

MY GOSH!! What the heck folks?? It's MISERABLE out there! I so dread this time of year. I can't move without sweating. I can't breathe, it's so humid. Why the heck do I live here?? Seriously?? What was I thinking? I want to crawl under a cool rock and just stay there. Someone call me when Fall gets here, and make it PRONTO! (That's fast in Spanish, for you non bilingual peeps) The entire family went to a water park this weekend. It was not the experience any of us thought it would be. It was miserably hot. Of course, no tables were available. The water only felt cool for about the first millisecond and then it felt like bathwater! YUCK! We went there because a church had rented the place out and it was "private" after closing until 9pm. A friend of mine attends the church and we tagged along for the evening. There is only THREE weeks of summer left!! WOW! I'm so sad. The kids are growing so fast. I have been looking for a specific picture of my father and in the process have come across photos of me at their ages. I remember how I saw my mom, and I think, I AM NOT THAT OLD! LOL I would like to think of myself as young at heart. I was playing with the kids in the pool at a friends house the other day. I realized I don't have a memory of my mother playing with me. Strange. I hope my children grow up with fond memories of their laid back summer days with their good 'ol M O M! I know my mother did the best she could, I hope I do better, and I hope Carson does even better than I did! It's what we are suppose to hope for right?

Amarillo by mornin' ..........

2008-07-20T21:56:00.000-07:00

Last weekend we went to visit a longtime GF of mine. We met years ago while she worked at Baylor with me. She is now a FT SAHM. We had never been to Amarillo and were pleasantly surprised by all there is to see and do out there. We went to Cadillac Ranch, where the Cadillacs are buried in the ground and you spray paint them. I have pics, but in my other memory card. We also went to a really cool musical called "Texas." It is held in Palo Duro Canyon and the back drop is the canyon. They use live horses and lots of lights and singing and dancing. At the end there was a small fireworks show. It brought back flashbacks for me of a similar production that El Paso does, and it is called "Viva EL PASO!" Pretty much the same thing. We got home pretty late (12:00am) and decided to jump into the pool anyway. Whew! The next morning I was feeling it. I am too old to party like a rock star people! Sunday was great and laid back. We went out to play with the horses and had lunch then hit the road. It was a fast and furious visit, filled with lots of laughs and fun times. Nobody expected it to be a 6 hour drive from here, but it is. No matter how ya slice it. Misty has a beautiful LARGE house. The kids really enjoyed themselves and she was a wonderful hostess! I wish I had been feeling better. On Thursday before we left I had been running a fever and felt horrible. I am so glad we did not stay home.
It took me pretty much all week to recover from the trip and squeeze in working 2 days this past week. I finally feel back on track. We went to church this morning and the sermon was awesome. The title of this series is Experience the Impossible. I have to share a profound part of it. It began with this statement up on the screen:
Attempt something so impossible, that unless God is in it. It is doomed for failure.
What else can I say?

Happy Birthday America!!

2008-07-04T20:43:00.000-07:00

I hope everyone had a happy festive 4th. We had a quiet one at home. I came down with a summer cold and was still a bit lethargic. I LOVE fireworks!! I think they are so romantic, and beautiful. I am sad that I did not get to see them this year. Life will go on. I have been so busy, with the kids and I actually got in a few days of work, and I even went to the gym a few times. Our water class is getting soooo full! Uncomfortably full. Since the weather is pretty, well, not exactly pretty. If you call high 90's with tons of humidity pretty, then you know what I'm talking about. I guess I should rephrase that, at certain times of the day, the weather is pretty enough to get some exercise outside. I have been walking the dogs and they are loving it! I was so pleased with myself the other night. I went for a late night walk, and when we got back both dogs, just fell on the cool tile and were panting and panting. The next day they both slept in! That NEVER happens. I took Carson and my neighbor swimming and I got called "Brazilian!" My neighbor said, that cuz I have gotten so tanned and I was wearing my hat (gotta protect the roseca) sitting in the pool, under the umbrella, I had that look. I've been called many things before, but that was a first. I am going to start my "vision" board. I think it will help me stay focused. It took me awhile to find one that I liked and thought would work. Now I need to decide where I am going to put it. I have to set some major goals. I don't think I've made progress, cuz I don't have a goal. I am very goal oriented. I'll take a pic when I get it up and going. That's all for now. Ciao

Rollercoaster Ride!

2008-06-30T09:21:00.001-07:00

I can't believe I'm such a slacker at my postings! I really thought, I would be posting like 2-3 times a day. I'm averaging maybe 6 a month. Pitiful!

So, I've know what I wanted to write about for some time now. I have just been trying to work up my nerve. There have been so many things going on, I'm impressed with myself that I am not in a constant hair pulling, full blown crying, major DIVA mode.

I guess I should begin by telling you my husband has a new job. Yea him! I however have had some major difficulty dealing with it. I am the one that does the bills, handles all the finances and ANY paperwork that comes into this house. He has no clue. He is a hard working husband that just pretty much hands over his pay check and lets me take care of it. We did negotiate a higher pay, but the benefits is what really had me on the fence about the entire deal. They would NOT start benefits until 30 days after being on the job. I didn't even know companies still did that!! I did not want to go through Cobra, it's so darn expensive.
I recently have been talking to a friend of mine that has a brain tumor and was postponing her surgery until August. We discussed her reasons why she wanted to wait. Out of nowhere I was more blunt than I intended to be and told her that maybe this was happening because she had to let go and give God control. Long story short, she talked to her husband, talked to another GF that pretty much told her the same thing, that she is a control freak (not my words) and after about 10days since our talk, she called and rescheduled her surgery for next week. A dear friend of mine, once told me that the trials we go through are usually to learn something.
Well, just cuz you are suppose to practice what ya preach, guess what happened to me????
Since I knew our benefits were changing, I felt I did not want to leave any "money" on the table. I thought I would take care of as many annuals as I could. As I have mentioned before I turned 40, which meant I needed a mammogram this year. I had one done when I was 35 to establish a baseline. It's the Monday of my husbands last week at his job, and I get a phone call at work. Apparently, I had to return for more testing. There was something that was on my films that they wanted to get more pics of, and they wanted me in "this" week!! OH MY GOSH! Talk about, freak out. It was an internal freak out. I was at work. I had to keep my composure. I know I can handle whatever this "thing" is. I was completely freaked out about the insurance situation. We were going to lose benefits in a few days. What if they tell me, I need a biopsy? What if I need surgery? The big one, I did not even want to think about, what if it was cancer?? Would the new insurance cover me with a pre-exsiting condition?? I was a wreck. By the grace of God, I managed to get in on Wednesday. It is a SUPER long story about my visit, but I will say that bottom line, I have to go back again in 6 months for another follow up to see if "it" is getting any bigger. Like I said, practice what ya preach. I had to completely give control up to God. Do you know how hard that is, as a health care worker?? Lesson learned.
My emotions had been all over the map in 3 days. I don't know why, but it always seems when God moves in my life, it happens in many areas at once. I guess, that is how an extremist like me functions best. All or none.
I am standing firmly in faith that everything will be okay. I have turned it over and am not worried about "it" and the insurance. I will go through what I am suppose to, knowing, that he is with me. It's a thin line between denial and turning over control. I don't deny the situation, I just keep telling myself, the outcome has already been determined and I am taken care of by the best Doctor there is!!

Friday the 13th

2008-06-13T21:55:00.000-07:00

Ohhhh, It's Friday the 13th! How did your day go? Ours went well at Chica's house. As each day of summer goes by, I have to remind myself of my goal this summer. I gave birth to polar opposites. They are only 2 1/2 years apart. Perfect, according to many child experts. Yeah right! One boy, one girl, different interests, different toys, different friends....
This summer I am determined to get them to "bond."
I have this line my kids are going to grow up telling their kids about. Hmm, I'll say it. Don't anyone freak out. I've never done, nor do I intend to do it. I want "just the thought of it" to be enough for them. So, here it is. I threaten them when they are frighting that I am going to duck tape them together until they get along. I've explained to them, it would be like a 3-legged race type thing. Ahh, how what you say, can come back and haunt you.
It was my daughter's school field day. I was in line to pick up, when I notice the music teacher coming towards my car. Instantly, my mind starts racing.... what did one of them do. I roll down the window and she has this big smile on her face. It's not often, but it happened to be a time when the hubbster and I were picking them up together. She walks over to his side of the car. I was driving. She tells us that she was in charge of the 3-legged race at field day and she had to tell us what Carson told her. "It was the funniest thing" she says. Apparently, when Carson got done with the race, she looks at her and in a completely serious face says, "OMG! Now I know what my Mom is talking about when she says she is going to duct tape me and my brother together! That was hard!!" I red face explained to her, why she said that and then she adds, "Oh yea, she told me that her and her brother don't get along." Great! It's one of those great Carson moments, you just gotta love. My child has no filter. She has a thought and her mouth spurts it out.
I mention this, cuz today, it crossed my mind. Oh boy, did it cross my mind. I have yet to carry it out, but the thought that she now knows what I'm talking about is now pretty interesting.

Strange Noises....

2008-06-12T19:21:00.000-07:00

Just like all professional dieters, I too have tried my hand at a few diets, programs, fads, tricks, and anything else people told me would work. One program that gave me the most success talked about letting yourself get hungry. You knew you were there, when you heard your stomach growl. The concept was, that if your stomach is full, it will not make any noise. It was to train you to learn about "hunger." The other day while at the dentist, I heard the assistants stomach growl. Let me give you a visual of her. She is a cute, young, blonde, petite female. Not at all the physique of someone who routinely overeats. Pretty much, we all heard it, and she made a comment to try and not be so embarrassed about it. When I heard it, it got me thinking.... when was the last time I heard "my" stomach growl??? I couldn't remember. That's because I keep it full! duh, chica!
I took the kids to a matinee today. During the middle of it, I heard it!! LOUD and CLEAR! I just smiled. I have been trying to work on portion control. I felt good that I was not keeping myself so full. Now, before I hear it from the professional dieters, I know it's not good to get too hungry. That's the key. It's like walking a tight rope. Learning how to keep your balance, so you don't slip and fall.

Motivation in Strange Places

2008-06-10T20:26:00.001-07:00

How embarrassing, but I'm gonna say it. I'm a "trash TV" junkie. Ya know all those trashy reality shows. Yep, addicted to a few. There is one I started to watch completely by accident. It's Workout on Bravo TV. Now, I never thought I would be one to say that I got motivation from a reality TV show where the focus is on a gay female! Well, I have. It takes patience to weed out the trash, but underneath it, there are some good motivational tools in there. The episode where the "sky labers" are in therapy and the gay guy yells, at the chubby girl, "just shut up and DO IT!" OMG! Loved it! It was like he was yelling at me. Today was the finale and they had their reveal moments. How awesome it is too see someone accomplish their goal. I have to say, as hard as it was today, I did not load my grocery cart with refined sugar! I passed the aisle with the baked goods. Whew. The hardest part was the cake mix aisle. I so wanted to buy some chocolate chip cookie mix. I didn't. Kept going. I have to do this, for me and my children. A couple of nights a week, we have been driving to our new dog friendly outdoor mall. Our dogs love the walk, and it's giving us some exercise. Last night, was just gorgeous. After it rained, it cooled down and the horrible humidity was gone. We skipped tonight. I'm dealing with a chronic sinus infection. My headache has been horrendous today. Just like the climbers on Everest continue with illness, so will I. Where is my Sherpa when I need one??

Schools out for Summer!

2008-06-02T20:24:00.000-07:00

Whew! I can't believe we made it through. Another school year comes to a close. I always have such mixed emotion at this time. I'm excited to have time with my kids, yet I know it means they are growing up. One year closer to going away to college. Yes, I am one of those mother's that is h*ll bent on my kids going to college. I've told them, they at least have to try it, and give it an honest chance. I loved my college years! I could go off on a tangent here, but I really want to, feel I need to blog about "my journey."
I have to be honest here and say, so far I have not been doing too well. Today, I got up and went to the gym. While I was jumping and huffing in my water class, something crossed my mind. I've been a "member" of the gym since Jan 1, 2008. What do I have to show for it? I started off really well. I felt better, lost some weight and then?? I know that May is a super hectic month for us. It's Mother's Day, Nurses Week, my daughter's birthday and our Wedding Anniversary! The food and sweets are everywhere! I of course gained back the weight I had lost and then some.
I recently began having some health issues. I have many health problems, but am pretty good at being in tune with my body. I felt I had gained some weight rather quickly. I went to the Dr and got my blood pressure medicine changed around. I knew some of the weight was from swelling. I am feeling better, but the first day after changing meds around, I didn't think I was gonna make it. Perseverance.
People who know me, know that I use the term "come to Jesus talks." I need one right now. A big one. I'm going to try and give it to myself. I feel one of my biggest "jewels" I will get out of this journey is to learn to love myself. I can honestly say, I don't do that. I am working on it.
We went to a resort that has an indoor water park for my daughter's birthday. My husband and I were sitting there, people watching. It's true that America leads in overweight people. What I did notice in the women that were not overweight, was that they had a confidence in themselves that the others didn't. They all looked "taken care of." By that I mean, THEY took the time to take care of themselves. They had cute haircuts, and hi-lights, french pedicures, fake nails, etc. As a nurse, I am a caretaker by nature. Why is it, that I can't take good care of myself, love myself? This is an issue I need to find the answer too. I think it will make an avalanche happen in my life. One that is necessary to clear out some bad stuff and reveal some inner beauty. In the meantime, baby steps, baby steps.

"The Talk"

2008-05-21T12:19:00.000-07:00

Big SIGH! I can't believe I'm having to walk this rite of passage already. My daughter just turned 9 a few days ago! YIKES! The talk I'm referring too is the one that explains what happens to a woman's body once a month. The other talk is "The BIG Talk" this is just the talk. Nonetheless, one I have thought of how I was going to handle since I found out I was pregnant with a girl. Yep, I'm one of those paranoid over achievers, that thinks of all kinds of crazy things, way ahead of time. I imagined us sitting together, having this wonderful mother daughter moment. I don't know why?! That's NOT how it happened in my world. NOPE, not at all.
In my world we went on bathroom break as a class in the 3rd grade. Then the group of girls that were in the bathroom started screaming cuz "Lina" was bleeding and we thought she was gonna die! Our poor teacher had to deal with us and our curious faces the rest of the day. She told us to ask our parents to explain to us what had happened. I did. My mother did not want to tell me. She made me wait a few days, until I had pouted enough. Gosh, the torture. I can't imagine being a mother of one of the boys in class and having him come home and ask me that.
Then again, my daughter did ask me the other day, "Mom, what does horny mean?" Talk about wanting the earth to swallow you up. Apparently, some girls at school know what it means, and she didn't, and they made fun of her. JOY!
Back to the present. My daughter's talk didn't happen that way either! So, my beautiful mental mother daughter moment never happened. Nope. Not at all that way. While away this weekend, my daughter "confirmed" what she had already been told by a friend at school. Yeah, two of her other friends mother's told me they had the talk with them. Apparently, a book was shared and questions were answered. So, this weekend.... My lovely God Daughter who is a few years older and has walked through "the moment" shared some of her knowledge and confirmed, elaborated, on the process. The best part, when my GF told me that she already knew, I tried to be in denial. My daughter walks into the kitchen and my GF says, "Carson, when your Mom talks to you about your uterus shedding, act surprised okay?" Carson say, "Cool" in her non-chalant I don't care right now, nine year old manner and walks away.
Great! Gotta love it! I did try and create my moment and sat with her recently and asked her if she had any questions about "her uterus shedding" and she said no. I had not heard her say it. I asked her, do you know what it is called? She would not say it. We play a game, where she is the mom and I am the daughter. So, I acted like I was the daughter wanting to know what it is called. Finally, she said it. It's called a period, MOM! I asked her, why isn't it called a question mark? : )

The Big one, three!

2008-05-17T23:40:00.001-07:00

Yep, 13 years of marriage! Whew, honestly didn't think I would ever say that. Not cuz my marriage is on the rocks or anything, cuz I never thought I was gonna get married!! Much less last 13 years. I guess this is a great place to tell the story of how I met my other half. Actually, we will skip the how we met. Let me sum it up by saying, we were married 15 wks and 4 days after we met! There, eloped to the Grand Canyon. What a blast that was!
We live almost completely in between both our families. I am from El Paso, and he is from upstate New York. Being as we have no family here, we seldom get "childless" nights. We were blessed to have a dear GF of mine keep our children for the weekend. She lives out in the country. Not the country as some people call it today, but like the country, country. My kids got to DRIVE 4 wheelers, and go carts all around their property. My son actually tried capturing crawdads from a creek! Pretty adventuresome for that city boy. I really think they had more fun that we did. We found ourselves kinda lost...... I did not make any plans, even though I had a few days to think of what we could do. It never fails when I count on the kids being gone, something happens. One year for our anniversary we had arranged for the children to each be with their own friend. BOTH sides cancelled on us. I did not want to get my hopes up. We did have a nice leisurely breakfast out, then went to some way over priced antique shops. I have to applaud hubby for actually going to see a chick flik with me. FYI, don't hurry to go see the new What Happens in Vegas movie. It's ok, that's about it. Very predictable and boring in parts. It's funny, cuz we were invited to a cook out, but it was an hour drive away and there were going to be tons of kids there. That one didn't make sense. I also had talked to another friend of mine and we were gonna go out for sushi. When time came, I was not in the mood to "doll up." My, how we get set in our ways. All in all we have had a nice quiet time together.

Where has Chica been?

2008-05-11T09:18:00.000-07:00

I have been nursing my aches and pains! This gym business is killin my bodd! I'm not taking this too well. I have been having leg cramps in my water class. I started cardio and thought I was going to stroke. (I know I should not joke like that, but I felt HORRIBLE! As a nurse all kinds of horrible things cross your mind! I thought, great do I have any ID on me? How embarrassing will that be? How will they get me out of here? How many men will it take to lift the stretcher? Will I ever be able to walk back in here? Those kind of crazy things go through your mind when you feel your heart beating out of your chest.) I realized how bad it is. I have been trying to do better in the nutrition department, then comes Mother's Day. Which btw, Happy Mother's Day to all the mom's!
I had asked to go to a "home tour" for my gift. Who doesn't love going into other people's houses and seeing how they live. What color are the walls? Where do they store there "stuff"?!! This was a tour of some "high dollar" historic homes. I have to say..... I was NOT wow'ed! Don't get me wrong, some of the houses architecturally were gorgeous, but as far as "decorating" goes......
It was a major disappointment. One house had 700 snow globes throughout the house! WHY?!! Another house belonged to a junk dealer and literally that gorgeous house was FILLED beyond the brim with nothing but junk! So sad! One lady made me laugh, she said out loud that she did not think that was appropriate to be listed on the home tour!! OMG! The most interesting thing was how these homes get restored. Some of the wood work is gorgeous. The history behind the homes, being torn down to the bare bones and built up again. One house had been badly burned and redone. That was the beauty of it. Unfortunately, we went on the hottest day so far! It was sooo muggy. No breeze what so ever. I think I sweated (is that correct english?) more than walking the treadmill for 45 min! It was miserable. Then, today.... it is gorgeous and cool outside. Great! We went out to a late, late lunch after we had enough of the tour. There were 11 stops on it, we lacked two. One of those was a house that was just bare bones that you could tour to get a glimpse of the before. It would have been fun, but it was terribly miserable and the buses were packed and taking forever to come around. Standing out in the heat waiting for them got old fast. Once we got on, in the A/C, there was no getting us out. After lunch we came home and I remembered I had been given an open invite to a friends house to jump in her pool. I called and it was still okay to come over. That water never felt so good. It also nursed my legs. My knee, I have mentioned before with the torn meniscus is not happy about going up and down all those stairs. Many of the homes were three stories! I was surprised at that. After our swim, it was late and dark. We came home, cleaned up and veg'ed out in front of the TV some. All in all it was a great day. I'm wiped today and after my breakfast in bed, went back to sleep and slept through my alarm for church. Disappointed about that, but guess my body needed the rest. We shall see how next week goes at the gym, and if kickin up my cardio is doing any good.

My Deviled Egg Eatin' Dog

2008-04-26T21:05:00.000-07:00

I have two dogs. One Jack Russell and one huge "SPCA Special" as I call him. He is a mix of who knows what. He was rescued from the SPCA about an hour from here. He was taken to his 2nd home that we know of, which was my co-workers house. "WE" got him when she had had enough of him, chewing and destroying her house. He is part Lab and part Great Dane that we know of for sure. When we first got him, I did not think we were going to make it with him. If you have read the book about "Marley," well, I think our "Luther" is related to him. After almost 4 years we have grown to love him dearly. Today, we were coming home from Carson's opthamology appointment (which is another long story) and I turned down the alley when I noticed two kids poking at my dog with a long stick over the fence. I was immediately furious! I slammed on the gas and the horn, trying to get there as fast as possible and get their attention. I rolled down my window and told the boy to leave my dog alone. His friend thought it was hilarious that he had been caught. My blood was boiling! I may not have stressed how HUGE Luther is. He weighs almost 100 lbs and has these long legs, that when he jumps it's very intimidating. My mind was racing. Ya know, if my dog had broke the fence down and my dog had done something to that kid, who would have been reasonable? US of course! That makes me furious! They come down so hard on dog owners when they bite kids, but I bet if dogs could talk we would find out the truth about what provoked them. I know not all cases, but some. This would have been one of them. My dog was soooooo wound up! His hair was standing on edge along his back, like a cat. Who knows how long they had been there. I would like to think not long, but he was so wired up. I should have followed the boys, but my priority was to check on my dog. I feared finding him bleeding, or wounded. Amazing, how we become so attached to our animals. He thankfully was not hurt that I could see. I kept him in the rest of the afternoon. In the evening it was BEAUTIFUL out and I decided he needed to go run around. There is an elementary school behind our house. They have a small fenced in area that I sometimes let the dogs run around in. It's about the size of 4 backyards, so I guess not that small. We were leaving the school and I noticed Luther was not on his leash anymore! OMG! Needless to say he got to run more than I had planned. We finally chased him down and took him for a ride in my husbands Camry. Luther is so big, that his butt was in the seat and his legs hanging over the edge and his head looking out the windshield just like a person! It was hilarious! We had some good laughs with him this evening. I call him my deviled egg eatin' dog, cuz for some reason he LOVES deviled eggs. Guarantee a few will be missing if you leave your plate unattended. Today was just a reminder of how far we have come with him. I know if his previous owners could see him now, they would definitely want him back. He is our gentle giant. Thank God for the dog angels that watched out for him while we were not home.
Finally, Finally, Finally! I did it! I made it to the gym THREE time this week. I was so wiped today, I took a ginormous nap! Yee-ha for me! Ok, next I need to work on the "nutrition" portion of this healthy lifestyle as well as getting myself to the gym. Notice I said nutrition and not DIET! ok, just checking.

15.5 lbs to go!

2008-04-24T12:50:00.000-07:00

This is not a goal for me, but a goal for my workout partner! She said when she loses 15.5 more lbs she will have reached a personal goal and wants to take a "girls getaway" trip! The best part is I get to come along! Yee-ha! You bet I'm calling her to get to the gym as much as possible now. Truth be told, I have only been away from the hubster and kids only ONCE! Next month is our 13th Anniversary. I know some people can't even grasp that thought. A few years ago my BFF and I went on a getaway and it was a blast! We rode waverunners and did whatever we wanted when we wanted! It was so much fun! Then, she got pregnant..... see what happens when you go away and come back! So, now that she has a lil one we have not gone anywhere. I hope hoping to change that soon. Wait, not so true. She broke her leg and that's when she got pregnant. Her husband said, it's cuz he didn't have to chase her anymore! I had planned a trip to Vegas for my ahem... 21st Birthday!~
LOL It got cancelled cuz my GF in New York renigged on me! Actually, everything happens for a reason, cuz we would have been off today and her Dad had unexpected major heart surgery today. I guess Divine intervention saved us the unrefundable airfare. I stepped on the scale and just hate it when that needle points in the opposite direction. I'm taking my scale in to get checked, it MUST be broken. Yeah, right! I have a mantra, '08 will be Great! I keep telling myself this and trying to keep a positive attitude. No matter how high gas prices get!
"I" really need to set a goal. My hospital decided that we must all wear the same color scrubs. JOY! I refuse to buy new scrubs in the current size I am in. I have to move, move, move. How I wish I had personal connections to Jilian the trainer from The Biggest loser! I so need her type of training. The tough love kind.

Rosacea

2008-04-20T20:36:00.000-07:00

Wow! I can't believe it's been a week since I last posted. Ok, I did get to the Dr. Long story short, his practice s*cks. He prescribed two creams and oral antibiotics (which I have tried before with my PCP) His diagnosis was SEVERE Rosacea with cystic acne. He swears it's not the makeup. Ok, dude. Time will tell. I went on Wednesday and my face feels a bit better. No more burning, but the itching remains. It looks 1/2 a hair better. So at least we are moving in the right direction. I was pretty bummed about the rosacea issue. I know my hormones are all screwed up, which just makes matters worse. I actually went out of my way to get to the gym and attend a class at a different location, just cuz I like that instructor. It was worth it. My body felt it, that's for sure. I love being outside and with this rosacea it is going to be challenging this summer. I am a sun goddess. I love to turn crispy brown. LOL I may have to find some other form of destruction. I know people with skin cancer, and I am not poking fun. It is not a good habit. Neither is smoking, drinking, or overeating for that matter. I even made it to church today. Pastor spoke about "livin like a dog" and it was very interesting how dogs go back and eat their vomit, and we continue to do destructive (addictive) behaviors. Of course, I have done his sermon no justice, but hope you get the jest. As you can see my brain is bouncing around tonight. I'm hittin the hay, so I can get to water class in the am. Oh yea, guess I should mention I had a major moment of weakness and baked brownies. I did call my neighbor and her BF to come over and have brownies sundaes so they would vanish quicker. It worked, they are all gone, so I had my portion and no more temptation.

What People Say.

2008-04-13T11:05:00.000-07:00

Sometimes you just can't believe what comes out of a person's mouth, can ya? I know I have mentioned my latex allergy before. Well, what I may not have mentioned is that I am currently discovering that I am having issues with makeup. There seems to be something in them that "resembles" the chemical make up of a latex protein. My body does not know how to tell the difference. My face is taking a toll. I look like a teen going through puberty twice. I have NEVER had skin issues. Never had blemish's in high school, or later. Well, I am paying now. My reaction looks like I have been burned (redness) along with what looks like acne. Maybe part of it is, but not all of it. It hurts like the dickens, and acne doesn't hurt like this. It itches, it burns. Anyway, I was at work and this housekeeper begins to inquire about what is going on with my face. Now, mind you, I don't know her very well. I raise my children to value people and respect them. I know you may have read the email about the teacher that gave the question about extra credit if they could name the housekeepers name. I like to be friendly to all. I always say hello to her, move out of her way, if it will help her clean. She has a job to do, as I. I have never discussed anything further with her, other than how are you? So, she turns to me and says, "What is wrong with your face? It looks bad! You have an allergy or something?" Now I am a blink away from tears, people! I about wanted to die. I have tried making appointments with dermatologist and apparently it is a booming practice and availability is months away. I have been trying everything under the sun, to try and fix it. So, needless to say, it has been a down weekend. I am now SUPER SELF CONSCIOUS about this. I finally have an appointment this coming week. Wish me luck!
Finally, my butt continues to grow. Very frustrating! I have decided I need help. This week I am looking into programs like WW, Jenny Craig, Nutra Systems etc, to see what I think will fit me best. I saw a friend recently that got the lapband and has lost 75 lbs! Wow, good for her! We all want that instant gratification. I'm at a low. This is the time I have to dig deep.

Update

2008-04-08T21:36:00.000-07:00

Just a quick update. My brother had surgery today, for a skin graft on his heel. The plan is to have him go through at least 2 more weeks of IV antibiotics, for a total of 6 weeks.
I spoke to the rehab lady and Spaghetti and Meatball are doing well. Meatball will have 5 days of antibiotics before being released. I think she is planning on releasing them together. That will be nice, as they were found together. Well, gotta hit the hay. I don't know why I can't get to bed at a decent hour the night before I work. 4:30 am comes early!

Farewell "Spaghetti Jones" and "Meatball"

2008-04-06T20:25:00.000-07:00

It is with a very heavy sad heart that I write this post. I am not sure if I mentioned that we found 2 baby bunnies a week before Easter. We took them in, as we did not think they would survive, because they were so little. I did not plan on keeping them. I had always heard rabbits attract mice, they smell and are a pain in the butt. I can honestly say 2 out of the 3 are correct. I did not notice any mice while they were around. Once the children gave them names, I knew I was doomed. They named them "Spaghetti and Meatball" because one was skinny and well the other one was not. As time went on, of course as is with most pets, guess who handled a major portion of their care. Yep, the M O M. I did some research and was getting them to be played with, slowly working on introducing them to our dogs and then I got real. I knew it was going to be too much, and we were not being fair to the rabbits. I know you have heard of people that have "vibes" with animals. Call me crazy, but I feel I am that way. If I did my anatomy check correct spaghetti is a female and meatball is a male. Spaghetti is a firecracker. She would bite, and would only settle down for me. I did manage to get her calm while holding her, and she only bite me once. If anyone else tried to get her, I could guarantee they would get bit. She was also, the wild one. Always jumping, wanting to explore and looking around. During my time with her, I added to her name "Jones" and she became "Spaghetti Jones." It somehow suited her.

I spoke to the kids and we decided that we needed to release them back into their habitat. It didn't work. I did what I read about and the rabbits didn't go any further than about 4 ft in almost 5 hours. It started to get dark and we were under a tornado watch, so we brought them back in. I thought we would try again this weekend. Saturday came and we noticed that Meatball was bleeding. Of course the children get very concerned. Being the nurse, I examine him and find his foot and hind leg have been injured. His hind leg was pretty bad. I cleaned him up and tried to put a bandage on, but he would have nothing to do with it. From the get go, I sensed something was different about him. He was a cuddle bug. He would cuddle into me and I could hold him for hours. He never bit. I feel both rabbits knew their names. They would raise their ears when we said them. It was so cute. Back to Meatball, sorry. We separated them, cuz I thought I had seen them fighting earlier that morning. I put Meatball on a towel and we gave him water and his pellets and a carrot, and I was afraid he was not going to be alive in the morning. Thank God, he was. We found Spaghetti had created a hide out for herself and was completely under the Timothy Hay and we could not see her at first glance. Talk about giving me a heart attack. I did try to find a rabbit vet Saturday night, and that was a learning experience in of it self. The closest one was over an hour away. JOY. When we got home from church today, I got back online and looked into rescue facilities for rabbits. I managed to find some organization that had 24 hour volunteers. I called and left a message. They called back and connected me with a "rehab-er" not too far away. We had a family meeting, and explained to the kids we had to do what was best for the rabbits. Interesting how even in a not light hearted situation, out of nowhere comes something funny. As we were discussing the plan, my daughter says, "Mom, you keep talking rehab, like Lindsey Lohan and Brittany?" I really needed that! Perspective of an 8yo. We all came to agreement. I could not bring myself to go drop them off. My husband and son went. The lady that took them, said we could call and check on Meatball tomorrow to see how he was doing. She did compliment us and said they looked in good condition and had been well taken care of. I will miss them. I already do. Doing the right thing, really s*cks sometimes.

Doctors going High-Tech

2008-04-04T16:42:00.000-07:00

When did this happen? My children had a dentist appointment today. To most mothers this would not be a big issue. In our family it is. I have a SEVERE latex allergy. This office happens to use latex gloves, so even sitting in there waiting room is dangerous for me. There are many things that I can't do. The list just keeps growing. It is very frustrating. Anyway, usually my husband takes them. Today he was not able to take off work. Everyone knows how hard it is to re-schedule an appointment. I talked to the kids and decided they were old enough and okay about going in without me. They have been with this office for several years now. We get to the parking lot and I jot a few notes down, for them to hand to the dental hygienist. Off they go. It's about 45 minutes now. I have made phone calls, cleaned my purse, thoroughly inspected my eyebrows with the nice mirror and light on the sunshade thing, and even took a power nap. I decide I should at least maybe stand out in the hall. I walk up to the office and it has gone through a major re-model. Immediately through the glass windows, my eyes go to the LARGE plasma TV mounted on the wall, playing Alvin and the Chipmunks. Excuse me! Wait. Against the wall, is a massive "pottery barn" type shelf. The entire wall! It has pretty baskets and nice breakable decorations, that of course all match. The thing looked like something right off the pages of pottery barn. After picking my mouth up off the floor, I did not see my kids sitting anywhere in front of the "movie" screen. I walk over to the other side of the office. There are THREE computer screens. THREE video game systems. XBOX 360, Playstation 2, and a gamecube. Okay, now in a curious robotic stage, I keep walking just to see what else they have done. There is a "coffee station." There are about 5 different types of coffees. At this point I'm thinking I will never get them out of there! I did not see them anywhere in there. It was actually pretty outside so I went to go sit on a bench while I waited for them. A few minutes later, they come walking out, accompanied by their dental hygienist. She was very nice and went over there visit with me. I was impressed that she walked out to update me. I talked about their office renovations and she informed me they are working on being a latex free office! Woo Hoo The only thing missing from there was an actual Starbucks. When did this happen? Dr's catering in such a way to this generation. What about us Mom's?? When am I going to walk into the OB/GYN office and say, where do I sign up for my pedi/mani while I wait?? Or, are there any slots open for a chair massage? It's just not fair people! Just not fair!
I'm afraid to wonder what next?

Setback

2008-04-02T22:51:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure why. I have not been to the gym in almost THREE weeks. This morning I had phone calls from 2 different people asking me if I was going to the water class. I didn't. I got back in bed and went to sleep. My husband drove the children in to school for me, so I got a morning at home. Alone. It very rarely happens, and I felt I did not want to rush off and have to be someplace. I did have my bag packed. As the bible says, the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. It has been an interesting week. I have been on a MASSIVE re-organizing spree. I have even done my GF's daughter's room, and today we did one of her hall closets. I have done three closets and two rooms in our house. I don't know if it means, I'm trying to get things "mentally" straight. I am one of these people that can't function if my surroundings are a mess.
This week is also difficult thinking about my brother. I keep praying for him. Just like I am the only one that bring about the "umph" in me to get going, he is the only one to bring it out of himself. I just pray it happens soon. A co-worker of mine, has a husband with liver cancer. He received a liver transplant today. Praise God! It is amazing what some people are dealing with.
We all have our cross to bare.

Spring Break Cometh!

2008-03-13T20:28:00.000-07:00

It's almost here. Yep, the oh so looking forward to having the kids with me 24/7 spring break! I am actually one of those freak Mom's that doesn't mind hanging out with my kids. I don't know what we will do with gas prices being out of control. I filled my tank the other day to the tune of $85.00!!!! Yikes! I literally almost cried at the pump. The sad thing, that was at Costco, where they guarantee the lowest price. I did get a coupon for a free game of bowling for the each of us. My most concerning issue is my workout routine. My workout partner asked me if I would be there next week and I said yes. She said, what are you doing with your kids? I did not sign up for daycare at the gym, since I only go while they are at school. I will either have to get up at the crack of dawn, or go super late. Hmmm. I am looking forward to my water class tomorrow morning. We have a sub and OMG, is she AWESOME! She kicked my butt Wednesday, so good that I took today off. Finally, on a sad note. My brother is struggling with another wound infection and it does not look good. They are giving him a 5 wk antibiotic course and if it does not work, he is looking at another amputation. Please pray for healing in his body and spirit. He is having a very difficult time emotionally, due to the situation. It is so difficult not having control of your body like that. As a nurse you wish you could just fix it. Time will tell, and I pray it will be a positive outcome.

Affects of the Weather

2008-03-10T08:04:00.001-07:00

Have you ever noticed how the weather affects people's behavior. Wet weather, tends to make people grumpy. Snow, seems to make people happy, bringing forth memories of their childhood.
This past week, we have had some WACKY weather here in North Texas. On Friday, we got SNOW! Today, I learned the expected high for Thursday is in the low 80's and for Friday in the high 80's!! I think this has turned my workout routine upside. I know on Saturday morning, when I spoke to my workout partner, we decided to ditch our swimming class. It was 26 degrees outside and the thought of jumping around in a suppose to be heated pool, was not pleasant. She convinced me that since the pool is surrounded by windows and it is so cold outside there was no way the pool would actually be warm. Gotta love it! I gave in. Can someone shout, "Co-dependency!" LOL I was getting dressed this morning and felt like wearing some "bling." My engagement ring had started to fit again. Notice I said, HAD. Yep, didn't fit this morning. Arrr! So, I need to be out of excuses, out of weather issues and so forth. I am planning an Easter party at our house. Maybe I'll set a weight loss goal for a few pounds by then? Let me think about it.........

Ah Ha Moment

2008-02-28T21:23:00.000-08:00

If you are an Oprah viewer you know what that means. It's a moment when you realize something big about your life, or yourself. As I stated when I started my blog, I am going to climb my Everest one step at a time. In order to do this, I felt I needed to go back and see where I "lost my footing" before. I have traveled down the road and seem to be doing fine and then I completely get off track. It was not only that, that was bothering me, it was the fact that I really wanted to know when, why, and where I began to lose the "hot chica" I used to be. I have had many conversations with GF's before and for some reason, many of us that hear God, have talked about how we have these massive realizations when we are in the shower. I think it's because it is when we are most vulnerable, completely in the flesh and getting clean. Today, I was taking my shower and not thinking about this, before I started to shower, I began thinking about where did I begin to lose myself. I began thinking about how I want to get back to a weight I was 15 years ago. I kept examining my life then and now and trying to figure out what was different. Obviously, I am now married. Does that mean, it is my marriage? I am now a mother. Does that mean, it's my children?
A few years ago, I felt in my heart I really needed to find out what my true passion was. I asked several of my friends that new me in different ways, what they saw me passionate about. It took almost a year, but I found out I am passionate about making people feel better. That moment hit me in church one Sunday. I have kept that in my head, all this time. I want to figure out how I can pursue my passion and live a fulfilling life. I have been a hairdresser before, and that makes people feel better. I am now a nurse and that obviously makes people feel better. Recently, with the issues I am having at work, which I will not discuss now, I realized that there is a major void in my career life. That void is creativity. When I was doing hair, I was able to express my creative side with each and every client. Basically, every second I was at work, I was being creative. I used to wake up and look forward to going to work. It was something different everyday. Yes, there were those clients that drove me crazy. Yet, even dealing with them, I was still being creative. Now, back to my ah ha moment in the shower. Today, I realized that I began to lose myself when I gave up hairdressing and went into nursing full-time. WOW! What an epiphany. Now comes the hard part. What do I do with this new found information. I think that will make the difference!

So this is what we spend our money on?

2008-02-22T17:22:00.000-08:00

I last wrote about my son singing Juice Box Hero and asking his guitar teacher to teach him to play that. So, we go to his lesson on Thursday. I picked him up and asked how his lesson went. "fine, mom." Oh yea, did you ask your teacher about juice box hero? "No, but I did ask him if he has ever "sh-arted" (not sure of the correct grammar there) For those of you that don't know what "sh-arting" is... It is a combination of farting and having something else come out with and or instead. Gross! I can't believe I'm writing about this. Anyway. He eagerly tells me his teacher said "yeah!" Once again, I about go off the side of the road. What?! MOM, he told me that once he was walking his dog at the park with his GF and he thought he was gonna fart and he sh-arted instead. I was completely at a loss for words. Now, you know this guy is a late teen, early 20 something. I guess boys talk freely about that stuff. I got a long explanation about how this topic came up in a music lesson, which did not make any sense to me. I guess it was one of those, had to be there moments. So, did you learn anything else at your lesson today? Nah, not really.. GREAT! This is what we spend our money on!

Pic info: 80's party. green and yellow mohawk

Back in the Saddle

2008-02-20T10:00:00.000-08:00

Yep, I think I'm back in gear. I've hit the gym twice this week already. I started to feel like the little advancement I had made was disappering, so that put a fire under my butt. I hate when you have your mind made up to do something but your body fights your mind and your body starts to act up. My knee is bothering me. Last year I was told I have a torn meniscus. Being the typical RN that I am, I did not want surgery. Why, you ask? Because, I'm a big scarredy cat. I have learned to live with it and so far am doing ok. I think I aggravated it in my "vault" back into my fitness routine. I should try walking in, like all other human beings. Bet that will work. I went to my water class this morning, and I got there late, which means a bad spot in the pool. The instructor claims they are not allowed to play music, whateva! So, when I'm in there, I use my "mental Ipod." Today, I kept hearing a song in my head that my son was singing to yesterday. We were driving into school, and being the hip chica Mom that I am, we were listening to a teeny booper station. I love this station, cuz they play all kinds of fun upbeat music, where you can understand the words. Well, usually. A blast from my past was blaring on the radio and my son starts singing along at the top of his lungs.... "He was a JUICE BOX HERO......" I about went off the side of the road laughing. Once I gained my composure, I explained to him what a "jukebox" was. I have to remind him to ask his teen something guitar teacher to teach him to play the juice box hero song. So anyway, Juice Box Hero got me through my class today. Now, I bet you are gonna have that song in your head today. Try not to grin too much. : )

On a side note, I bought my kids a hula hoop yesterday. Well, they each got their own. It was hilarious watching them try to master this. Even funnier was "me" trying to relive those years. I am determined to get this! I'll keep ya posted on how that goes.

Que pasa chica?

2008-02-15T08:50:00.001-08:00

I don't know what is going on with me.... I just have not been myself lately. Usually I get the "blues" around the holidays, and last year, not ONE tear. I was so proud of myself. Maybe this is all delayed post holiday blues. I don't know. I did have my 40th Birthday, but that's not what has the water works going. My BFF had a really cool 80's party for me. I am so blessed to have her in my life. We have our ups and our downs, but all in all, I would not trade her for the world. We called it "Farewell 30's" and dressed up in 80's attire and all. We had way to many "buttery nipple" shots to remember names. Well, at least I did! I somehow re-named my GF Carmen, "Charmin!" I got some funny, funny, gag gifts. The turn out was low, and that kinda got me sad. Afterwards, I figured that the people that mattered most were there and that is what counts! Right? We had our kids there, and even had them dressed in the 80's.
I have not been to the gym in 2 wks and I know that is not helping the emotions. I need to get back on the wagon. I am so good at putting on a face and letting people think all is well on the outside. I have been grumpy as all get out! Maybe I need some serious drugs. The kind that make everything seem ok. What am I talking about? I already have some of those. LOL I guess I need a stronger dose. Yeah, that's it! Since I am older now, I must need my dosage increased. I did discover something very interesting. I have been having some serious issues at work. I will not get into them here. Let me just say, things have been better there. After 15 years, it may just be time to hang it up. Back to my interesting discovery. I was looking over my page and saw that I ommited being a Nurse! OMG! Talk about Freudian. I think subconsiously, I left it out. Maybe I don't consider myself a nurse. Yeah, I do. I don't know.
See what I mean. Just in a big Funk. That's not a typo. I'm not talking about the F word. Just being in a funky mood, funky stage in my life. I feel like those people you see in the movies that go off to "find themselves." For those of you that don't speak Spanish, "Que Pasa Chica" can be translated into What is going on Chic? That's basically, what I keep asking myself.
I know up to this point, I have not shared my blog with anyone. I know that it's out there and if someone finds it then great. As far as "me" making it know to someone, I have not done that. I read a few other blogs today and one, about some lady talking about giving herself a coffee enema! Ok, that made me laugh. Maybe that's what I need, to just laugh at myself.
The hubster took the day off today. We are suppose to do something together. He went to go fill out job applications. Ironic, huh? I guess I'll go pull myself together before he gets back..
ciao chicas y chicos.

Best Laid Plans.....

2008-01-31T16:52:00.000-08:00

Today, I had plans. Yep, I did. What I did not have planned, was my daughter having a temperature of 102 and missing school. Also, not planned was an entire side of my fence falling due to strong winds. The big, not planned events of the day were the dog piles, or should I say the semi-circular mushy, wet, wanna be piles of poop that were all over the house! I so, did not have any of that planned.
What I did have planned was celebrating the 13th anniversary of the day I met my Husband. Not that "he" remembers. I do, and that's what matters. I had planned on making a special chocolate cake and a nice dinner and having the kids to bed early, and spending some time together. Instead, we are pulling up pooped on carpet, trying to find dogs that wandered off due to no fence, consoling my son that can't have his friend spend the night because his sister is sick.
Ahhh, the joy of best laid plans.

Why Can't it be that Simple?

2008-01-26T20:27:00.000-08:00

It's crazy these days, isn't it? Having to live up to some "super mom" image. Most households have both parents working, not too mention all the extra curricular activities the children are in. It was finally a sunny day here in North Texas. I am one of these people that have to have my blinds up and able to look out the windows. I know it can make your utility bill higher, but I figure if I get sunshine, I'm saving on antidepressants. I was going back and forth in and out of my kitchen, which has a bay window in it. Every time I walked by I could see my dogs outside, just sleeping, laying there in the sun. About the 5th time I walked by, I thought to myself, gosh, I would love to just be lounging in the sun. My big dog Luther had himself in some twisted position that did not look comfortable at all, but watching his breathing I could tell he was out like a light! My little dog Regina was pretty much curled up in a circle and looked so cute and innocent. Dog's don't worry about music lessons, soccer games, if they have Xbox 360, or a Wii.
Heck, they don't even have to think about what's for dinner!! Now, that really gets me. Just makes ya wonder, why can't it be that simple?

Chica's Day Off

2008-01-24T21:35:00.001-08:00

Get it? Like Ferris Beuller's day off. Okay, I thought it was funny. Anyway, I had to take today off. I could not even sleep last night, my body hurt so bad. I ached all over. Just thinking about a part of my body, made that part ache. Not even the "alleve" I took alleviated any pain. I feel better this evening. Now I'm just grumpy! Go figure... I have noticed my children being very supportive of my journey. My son has started doing crunches in the evening. All without any prodding on my part. I have had a headache today. I think that is why I'm grumpy. I tend to get grumpy when I'm in pain. Weird, I know. I have such a high pain tolerance, that I can continue functioning, and not realize how bad the pain is, until I sit still. How often does that happen? Exactly. I had a bazillion errands to run today. I took care of all of them. Woo Hoo, and Yee-ha. Hmm, here is another reason that might explain my grumpiness. I had a speeding ticket awhile back. I went to "court" if you can call it that, in the podunk town that I got it in. Their "court" is appearing before the judge and having her either give you defensive driving, lower your fee, or community service. In the big cities, if the police officer that cited you does not show up at court, your ticket is dismissed. NOOOO, not in this town. Well, I got "granted" a month to pay the "court fees" and then 3 months from the day the fee was paid, I was to take defensive driving. Well, for some reason, I got the due date wrong in my head. I was "late" by one day and they would not budge. So, now not only do I have to pay the entire fine, but there is no way to get it removed from my record. That piss*s me off! So, I drive down to the so called municipal building or whatever, which looks like a double wide trailer from the outside. I walk in, surrendering myself to pay the entire fine, and they don't take checks!!! ARRRRRR! Not having a few extra hundred dollars cash on me, I now have to go back, yet again. Joy! Where is my friend Jose when I need him?? (Jose Cuervo)

Taking the Plunge!

2008-01-22T19:07:00.000-08:00

Woo Hoo! Yee-ha! and all that Jazz. I did it! I finally did it! I meet with "THE TRAINER." Insert theatrical music here, like when the "who dun it" is solved. I did have an appointment at 9:30am with another mini Barbie. This one was not at all as bad as the first one. She was more regular looking and seemed down to earth. Nonetheless, the "boss" man called 15 minutes before the appointment and said he needed to speak to me "about my appointment." I heard that message and thought, GREAT! Another one "gone?" I blew off the whole entire thing. Ok, I guess here, I should mention that I forgot about the appointment until I heard the message. It didn't matter. It sounded like there was a problem, so it would not have happened anyway. Right? This is where you agree with me, nodd your head please. Thank you. Finally around noon, I get my groove back and decided I need to do this. I called twice until I finally reached, "HIM." His name is Melvin, and he is a really nice guy. I think this will be a good fit. I felt comfortable with him, heck he knows how much I weigh! My husband doesn't even know that. Hmmmm. I know the point of this "meeting" was to have them give me their sales pitch on how you need to incorporate "trainers" into your routine, to get the best results, yada, yada, yada. He gave me his schpeel and I looked him in the eyes and said, "do you practice that at home?" At this point, we had developed a good enough repoire for a comment like that. Heck the guy drew this triangle and had letters and hand gestures. He was working it folks. I was short on time, so we wrapped it up soon after that. I did assure him I do have plans of getting a trainer. I want to ask for "training sessions" for my Birthday from all my friends. What a smart cookie, I am huh? Yeah, I know I should ask for something more "lasting" for such a milestone birthday. What's more lasting than improving my health? Well, all in all it was a good session. Parts of my body are hurting me this evening. I already took some pharmaceutical therapy for it. I'm fresh and clean and pretty smelling and off to bed.

Stepping Out of the Box

2008-01-17T10:08:00.000-08:00

I finally did it! Not for very long, but the point is I did it! I got myself out on the huge, massive floor with all the different weight machines and got to work. I don't know why I have been so hesitant to get working with the machines. I have no problem getting into a swim suit and bouncing around in the water in front of a bunch of strangers. Heavens forbid, I have more clothing and sit on a machine and lift some weights. Crazy, yep that's me! I thought it would be easier if I worked out with someone. I meet a woman in the water class and she agreed to meet me the next morning. Just as she was walking out to leave she says, "The only reason I will not be here, is if I have to take my son to the Dr. He has strep throat." Well, that pretty much told me she was O U T. I decided to give her the benefit of the doubt and show up anyway. Late, of course. Nope, she was not there. I did see another woman from the water class and got a few tips from her, thankfully. I did some arms, abbs, and legs. Not much of each, just enough to remind me of how out of shape I've gotten. I am trying to be positive and look at my small step as a big accomplishment. Each time I go, should be easier. I hope to make it to the water class tonight, if it's not freeeeezing outside, like it is now. I have to say, I feel better with just the few small steps I am taking. Keep going chica!

One Foot in Front of the Other

2008-01-09T10:43:00.000-08:00

I have gotten to the gym a few times. It took me about 2 days to recover from whatever I did to my leg. I must have pulled a muscle in class, cuz it was not only painful to walk, but challenging as well. I still don't feel in the "swing" of things. I keep telling myself, one step at a time. I didn't put the weight on overnight, it's not coming off that quickly either. I still have not had my training session with the trainer. I found out today that Barbie was transferred to a different location. I had an appointment set up with another trainer and she called and cancelled. Maybe next week, I'll get that together.

Have you ever built a rocket?

2008-01-04T07:35:00.000-08:00

Did you ever build a rocket in elementary school? Remember the anticipation? The visions of it soaring, high up in the air. The entire class gathers and one at a time, you take turns igniting your rocket. Your heart is beating so fast, what will happen? Will your dream come true? It starts to take off, slowly, then fizzes out and hits the floor. BUMMER! All that work for about 3 seconds of misery. Actually, more than that, since you will be teased about this for the rest of your school days. That's what came to mind as the day passed and I decided I just could NOT meet with Barbie. I have to be comfortable with this person, and I was not. I did make it to the gym that day, only to hop on the Precor and remind myself of every single ounce of extra weight I was carrying. I lasted about 15 minutes. I was too insecure to try any weight machines. I walked around the place, trying to lower my heart rate and keep from having a heart attack on my first day. After getting feeling back in my legs, being able to breathe without it hurting, I headed home. Yep, major fizz for the first day. I did feel sore the next day. I'm not beating myself up. I have lots of weight to take off and every small step counts! I did make it to the aqua class yesterday. Not sure if I will keep going to the class. I definitely will keep getting in the pool, since no impact is the best on my joints right now. I know that deep down in me, not only is there one Hot Chica, this chic is crazy. I love the feeling of sore muscles! I ache in places I had forgotten I had. Each step I take reminds me, I'm on a mission. I love that. Sicko, I know!

Ready Set Go!

2008-01-02T09:42:00.000-08:00

Well, here we are. I finally did it and joined a "fitness club" last night. I only got the tour and today I have an appointment to "work out" with my physical trainer. I don't even know how many sessions I get with this. Hopefully, just this one, cuz I already didn't like this chickie. She just rubbed me wrong. After working 12 + hrs on New Years Day, the last thing I wanted to do was sit in front of some blonde barbie girl and have her ask me, "So, why are you here?" What do you think Barbie? Arrrrr! I just wanted to look her straight in the eyes and let her have it. I am, dare I say it? Even my cardiologist hates this term, "morbidly obese." There, said it. Can we move on now. To make matters worse I am a Registered Nurse. Yeah, so I should know better. Well, 40 days from today, I will step into my 40th year of life. I want to begin that year on a better foot than previously. I know I have a long way to go. Put one foot in front of the other, is my mantra. The meeting of this personal trainer ended with "I want you to write down EVERYTHING you eat in the next 24 hours. That is your homework." So where does that have me today, totally concentrated and consumed with the thought of FOOD! I need to go get some workout clothes. Sadly, I don't even have anything I could work out in. Got the t-shirts but need some decent covering for the lower bodd. So, begins a plethora of firsts today. First time for me to create a blog. First step towards a better life. I just hope after my session today, I will still be able to "step" tomorrow......