Que pasa chica?

I don't know what is going on with me.... I just have not been myself lately. Usually I get the "blues" around the holidays, and last year, not ONE tear. I was so proud of myself. Maybe this is all delayed post holiday blues. I don't know. I did have my 40th Birthday, but that's not what has the water works going. My BFF had a really cool 80's party for me. I am so blessed to have her in my life. We have our ups and our downs, but all in all, I would not trade her for the world. We called it "Farewell 30's" and dressed up in 80's attire and all. We had way to many "buttery nipple" shots to remember names. Well, at least I did! I somehow re-named my GF Carmen, "Charmin!" I got some funny, funny, gag gifts. The turn out was low, and that kinda got me sad. Afterwards, I figured that the people that mattered most were there and that is what counts! Right? We had our kids there, and even had them dressed in the 80's.
I have not been to the gym in 2 wks and I know that is not helping the emotions. I need to get back on the wagon. I am so good at putting on a face and letting people think all is well on the outside. I have been grumpy as all get out! Maybe I need some serious drugs. The kind that make everything seem ok. What am I talking about? I already have some of those. LOL I guess I need a stronger dose. Yeah, that's it! Since I am older now, I must need my dosage increased. I did discover something very interesting. I have been having some serious issues at work. I will not get into them here. Let me just say, things have been better there. After 15 years, it may just be time to hang it up. Back to my interesting discovery. I was looking over my page and saw that I ommited being a Nurse! OMG! Talk about Freudian. I think subconsiously, I left it out. Maybe I don't consider myself a nurse. Yeah, I do. I don't know.
See what I mean. Just in a big Funk. That's not a typo. I'm not talking about the F word. Just being in a funky mood, funky stage in my life. I feel like those people you see in the movies that go off to "find themselves." For those of you that don't speak Spanish, "Que Pasa Chica" can be translated into What is going on Chic? That's basically, what I keep asking myself.
I know up to this point, I have not shared my blog with anyone. I know that it's out there and if someone finds it then great. As far as "me" making it know to someone, I have not done that. I read a few other blogs today and one, about some lady talking about giving herself a coffee enema! Ok, that made me laugh. Maybe that's what I need, to just laugh at myself.
The hubster took the day off today. We are suppose to do something together. He went to go fill out job applications. Ironic, huh? I guess I'll go pull myself together before he gets back..
ciao chicas y chicos.

Ready Set Go!

Well, here we are. I finally did it and joined a "fitness club" last night. I only got the tour and today I have an appointment to "work out" with my physical trainer. I don't even know how many sessions I get with this. Hopefully, just this one, cuz I already didn't like this chickie. She just rubbed me wrong. After working 12 + hrs on New Years Day, the last thing I wanted to do was sit in front of some blonde barbie girl and have her ask me, "So, why are you here?" What do you think Barbie? Arrrrr! I just wanted to look her straight in the eyes and let her have it. I am, dare I say it? Even my cardiologist hates this term, "morbidly obese." There, said it. Can we move on now. To make matters worse I am a Registered Nurse. Yeah, so I should know better. Well, 40 days from today, I will step into my 40th year of life. I want to begin that year on a better foot than previously. I know I have a long way to go. Put one foot in front of the other, is my mantra. The meeting of this personal trainer ended with "I want you to write down EVERYTHING you eat in the next 24 hours. That is your homework." So where does that have me today, totally concentrated and consumed with the thought of FOOD! I need to go get some workout clothes. Sadly, I don't even have anything I could work out in. Got the t-shirts but need some decent covering for the lower bodd. So, begins a plethora of firsts today. First time for me to create a blog. First step towards a better life. I just hope after my session today, I will still be able to "step" tomorrow......