Blonde Moment

I swear I had typed up a really nice "summary" of the year and poof! It's gone. I thought it saved itself. Guess not. Oh well. I am at a loss for words when it comes to my lack of progress. All I can say is, I do hope that maybe this year I have made some "emotional" progress. I do believe all that must be in line regardless of what you do to take the weight off, if you don't work on the inside it will come back.
I know now, I had talked in my imaginary post about how I always manage to lose weight during the holidays. Not like massive amounts, but I don't gain. Am I happier at this time? Truth be told, the holidays are an emotional
h*ll for me. We don't have family anywhere within 600+ miles of us. I feel I have to make the most of it for the children. I hope they will grow up with some memories of decorating, gingerbread houses and the such. I never do as much as I have planned or as much as I want to do.
I have to work tomorrow, for the first time since THANKSGIVING! Wow! How blessed am I?! I will say if anything this year I am (it's a process with me) learning that "I" am worth something! I deserve good things, and most of all, I am learning to LOVE myself as I am. That is very difficult even to "blog." I bring that point up, because I do deserve a wonderful husband that works hard to provide for his family so that I don't have too. (keep repeating........)
I am blessed and thankful for the life I have!
whew.... that is a long way off from where I started with my blonde moment story.

How time flies.......

Ok, are we having fun yet??? I was trying to add up how much money I have spent on gym fees this year, vs how much weight I have lost.... Not enlightening! To make matters even better it has been freezing cold. The thought of jumping into the pool, heated or not, does not sound pleasant. Yesterday I threw out my back, picking up what probably could be the lightest package Amazon has ever delivered.
I refuse to give up! Just flat out refuse!! By golly, I am gonna climb this darn
blasted Everest if it's the last thing I do!!

Can you guess what this is?

Here is a list:
3 slices of pizza
one bluetooth ear piece
lip gloss
perfume
coin purse
cell phone
diary
graded school papers

Can you guess what it is? It's "some" of the contents inside my 9yos purse! crazy huh?! yep, Pizza! She had these pictures of pizza, almost actual size that were laminated. I thought it was hilarious.
One the fitness note: My asthma has come on full force. I was just outside for no more than 5 minutes taking a peek at the spectacular event in the sky tonight. It was a three way conjunction of Venus, Jupiter and the crescent moon. It literally was right outside our front door!!! Kinda spooky actually. Amazing sight though, when you know what you are looking at. It will not appear that way again until 1952

Anyway, I had to come in, because my airway was not happy with the cold air. I lost my voice in just that short time! I was even having shortness of breath.... so back to bed I go. We were planning to go out to dinner, but the boys vetoed that after I came in. : (

Sharing a GREAT tip!

Ok, so they say charma is a *itch. I know this to be true. A few weeks ago there was a coworker of mine sharing how she had a "critter" in her garage. She is single, extremely girly girl, and very umm how should I put this... skit-ish.
Yeah. good word. She went on to tell us how she only had a broom and her car in her garage and she could see the critter here and there. Of course as goes anything with an audience EVERYONE had some sort of input for her. Someone mentioned the tractor supply. Well, I have explained how girly girl she is and so I made a comment about the visual of her walking into a tractor supply and if she even knew what that was.
Soooooooo, the next week I am off to work and pulling out of the drive way and WHAT do I see scamper across the garage floor??? YOU GUESSED IT! A critter! ERRRRRR!
So I told DH we had a visitor. As "charma" goes, the visitor happened to get stuck in the master bedroom wall. Am I sure of this? YEP! Without a doubt! As I now know that these "critters" are nocturnal, I did not sleep for days. I could here this thing clawing and clawing at the wall, trying to get up or out or something. It would just go wild at night. Of course I was more afraid that it would get out because the noise was right behind a phone jack. JOY~
As nature goes, it FINALLY died. Well, I was not prepared for what came next.....
THE SMELL!! At first I asked DH if he was okay, cuz there was this stench coming from the bathroom. (the phone jack is just on the other side of the master bath)
He laughed and informed me of what it was and of what was to come. We tried candles, arm and hammer with NO success. I finally went to the internet and searched for an answer. I found a site that briefly mentioned some rocks sold at home depot and how they worked and were only $6! Well, at this point I was ready to do about anything.
Off to the depot we go. DH is home taking a nap... with the smell I don't know how. We stop and ask a group of about FIVE employees to direct us to what we are looking for. First they swear they don't sell such a thing. Then one lady tells me if it's rocks, it's in the garden section. ie. just get outta here lady. Then after checking the cleaning aisle, the kill critters section and not finding anything we head to the garden section. My children now ready to leave ask yet another employee who once again says they don't sell such a thing. As a typical woman, not wanting to take NO for an answer I ask one more employee. He quickly says, sure let me show you where. (may many, many blessings come this man's way!!) He leads us back to the cleaning aisle where I begin to think they must be out of whatever I'm looking for because we had searched this aisle. Well... on the very top shelf there was an edge of a box with the word GONZO across it. Insert heavenly angles singing here. lol He lead us right to it! GLORY GLORY GLORY!!! I bought TWO bags, just in case. It is these rocks or pellets or something in a mesh bag. You never take them out of the mesh and apparently these things last forever. When you feel they are not working anymore put them in the sun for a few hours and ta da, you are good to go again. I am here to tell ya, IT WORKS! It does nto smell like death in here anymore.
So, yet another lesson learned........

Push up's in the park

Brrrr! Someone turn the heat up. My gosh, it was just yesterday I was doing push ups on the playground equipment and today I would not dream of touching any metal outside for fear of frost bite. Okay, okay, so I exaggerate just a tad. It is the coldest day for north Texas so far this Fall. It feels good. It was 45 degrees and sunny today and I think that was a PERFECT temp! Yeah, what can I say I'm part Eskimo I guess. I will say that I got a better workout at the park doing my push ups on the park equipment than at the gym. I'm sure if anyone watched me, they would have gotten quite a chuckle. I had our big 100 lb dog with me on his long leash and out of curiosity he decided he needed to get up close and personal to see exactly what I was doing. He got right under me and looked right up at me as if to say, "Mom, do you know what you're doing?"
I did not go to my water class today because we had dental cleaning appointments today. (Dh and I) The kids got out of school at noon, so after we drove into the Big D, we had to drive right back out and head to the school for pick up time.
The kids are on break for an entire 9.5 days... but who's counting right? : )

I need a Village!

Ever heard that saying, "It takes a village?" I think I have finally figured that I am not going to be able to do this on my own. Sad, I know. I discovered I am not wonder woman. bummer. I figured that anything I have ever set out to do and attain, has not been on my own. I went to nursing school, that took going to class, clinicals, study groups, labs, etc etc. I also am a licensed cosmetologist. That too, took going to classes and lots of practice. My grand ephiany has lead me to decide I need a trainer, nutrionist, work out buddy, therapist (he he), stylist that will make sure I don't look like a dork in 80's workout gear, and a personal chef!
I am taking applications and will be conducting interviews asap! Keep ya posted....

Ahem.... Not so Savvy, I am!

ok, perhaps I need to S L O W down and check stuff. The link I linked you to, includes to http:// sets, you can backspace on one set and get to the site that way, OR click here Heavens help me, if I didn't get it right this time!

I will survive!

Shout out to Gloria Gaynor (sp)!!! It's officially the holiday shopping time according to me. The day after Halloween is when I start to panic!! What do I get? How much do I spend? Most of all........ WHERE DO I BEGIN??? I thought this year I would be smart. ahem..... YEP! I'm starting online! So far, I started by looking up giveaways. That will help tremendously! Need $25 towards an Amazon purchase? Who doesn't right? click here I'm headed back out there people....... cyber land here I come!

Date Day!! What the heck is that??

OMG! Can you believe it? DH and I actually went out on a D A T E! I can't remember the last time we did that. I call it date "day" cuz he has Friday's off so we did stuff during the day. The entire family, minus the dogs, got in the Suburban and off to school we went this morning. After dropping off the "lil blessings" we went to breakfast. Well, let me give some detail. I was driving, so I saw a garage sale sign, detoured to the sale, then detoured through a really pretty neighborhood I had never driven through, THEN we headed to Cracker Barrel. Only probably was that by now DH was just STARVING!! He takes his cell phone out of his pocket and checks the time. Umm, like it doesn't show up on the lil LED clock on the dash? Whateva! He said I was driving too slow and taking the "scenic" route. LOL Basically, he was bored. Ok, we go to Cracker Barrel, and I completely ate whatever I wanted. Yep, I confess. Even ordered a side of that yummie hashbrown casserole. We went to the bank afterwards. Then we went to run an errand he had to take care of. Then as is tradition with "us" we had a big fight. Umm, we hardly go anywhere or do anything without this happening. Annoying, I know. So after that, I just wanted to "end the date" and go home. We had planned on going to the shooting range, but never got there. I needed a nap to cool off. He ran some errands and brought home a cake for me. Yes, this was totally the not eat anything healthy day. He had asked me how he could make it up to me and I wanted cake. After my nap, it was time to get the kiddos. They had a bday sleepover party tonight. We dropped them off and went to dinner and a movie. If you have not seen Nights at Rodanthe (sp?) OMG, grab a GF and some kleenex and go! Great movie. Tear jerker, but good. All in all it was a good day. We got to spend some time together and did get adult talk time. Funny, cuz we got home a bit after 9pm! LOL I thought, OMG, I remember when that was the time a date "STARTED!"

Got Pocketbook??

Do you LOVE purses?? I do. Only my problem is, I like the high dollar ones. The really cute, rare, unique kind. I so don't like having a purse "just like everyone else." Drives me crazy!! There is a giveaway going on, to win a free purse, just check it out!! click here Ok, so I grew up calling them "purses." I have a good friend from the big apple that calls them pocketbooks. Yeah, she says it with a funny NY accent. She says "I" talk funny. I don't think so. Ain't that right ya'll wink wink. So, it cracks me up when we first meet and she kept referring to her pocketbook. I kept thinkin' she was referring to her wallet?! Nope, to her, pocketbook = purse. Go figure! I guess there is the whole "handbag" issue as well. I guess what you call it must be related to where you grew up.

Model Home Tours

It's Sunday, isn't that what you are suppose to do? I am one of those crazy people that love to walk through other people's houses and see where they put all their stuff, how they store it. Hmm, that's a good idea, putting a chair there, like that. I get inspired! Sometimes they are a disappointment. Today we set out to our old stompin' ground. The popular "Lakewood" area in Dallas. I LOVED living there. I miss it, but I know that chapter in my life has come and gone. I lived there when I was single and there are great, fun memories that go along with driving up and down the ol familiar streets. Nonetheless, they have some money in that area. BIG money, let me tell ya. Today we toured a 1.2 MILLION dollar home. Just to know what they look like in the inside is so fun. We spotted another open house on our way to the original we set out to see. It was occupied. The owner was still home, even though we arrived well with in the time frame that was listed on their sign. The agent was on the phone the entire time we were there, and it was not busy. We know about this party she is going to once she is done with the open house. Oh yea, and their dogs were home too. It was hilarious, like we stepped into a What Not to do when you hold an open house. They had some good decorating ideas. We toured a few others and they were not furnished. Not as fun, but with them being double the price of the first going in and out of so many rooms was fun. We were ready to walk out of one and I realized there was still an entire section we missed!! My point to this is I think I got some exercise today. Going up and down stairs, I had to burn some calories? My allergies/asthma has decided to trouble me today. I have drugged up and am going to take a Texas sized nap! I need to make it to water class tomorrow. Hope ya'll are having a restful Sunday.


6547 Sondra
Available Spring 2008
$1,200,000
4889 sq.ft.
5 Bedroom/5 Bath/ Library/Computer Work Room/ Gameroom/ Media/ Covered Outdoor Living with fireplace/Walk-in pantry/Butler's pantry/Wine Cellar/Wet Bar/Master up has sitting area w/fireplace/Porte Cochere/3 car Tandem Garage

No Challenge means NO CHANGE!!

These are some words that keep repeating in my head. They came from my Monday water class instructor. She is so cute and bubbly, makes me just wanna dunk her in the pool. j/k For some reason that phrase just turned a light bulb on in me. Thanks Racheal! I'm feeling really blue today. Not sure why? I am glad I already went to the gym or else it would NOT happen today. Hmm, maybe cuz I have to work this week. Not sure. I think I dread the day after I work. That day when I look around and see that this and that has piled up there. Over here has not been cleaned, the stuff that is all over the place that did not get put away. WHY? WHY? WHY? It's kinda like today. On Monday, I feel like the house is a wreck! Why must I always need order? Why does clothes on the floor bother me? Why does washed clothes that has not been put folded, much less put away DRIVE ME CRRRRRAZY!!! I have to say that is one of my biggest pet peaves. I can let go of other areas of the house and if someone else does it and it's not exactly to my liking, I'll be ok. NOT when it comes to the laundry!! Stay out of my laundry room!! I guess no challenge means no change can be applied to other areas, like house cleaning. Yeah, whateva! My aching bodd is calling for food. Must go take care of my basic needs. ciao

I want my SEXY back!

I was reading this magazine that got mailed to us, I don't know how or why, it's about high dollar living, with details about all these super expensive stores in Dallas that I have never even heard of!! Anyhow, just not being able to fit into any of that kind of clothes got me thinking, "I want my sexy back!!" ya know! I just want to feel good about myself again. I am coming to grips with the fact that I will not be a size 4, nobody in my family extended or immediate has ever been that size. I am going to be ok, with having a "bigger" (if you will) body that most people. I want to be fit. I want to be off soooooo many medications I am on now. I want to be able to fit into pretty clothes that DON'T have an elastic waist band! I want to wear matching bra and panties like I used too!!! I want my feet not to hurt when I wear shoes other than my teeny shoes.
Ironically, out of nowhere my son starts talking about how it can take YEARS to climb Mount Everest. The statement threw me off. I immediately went to telling him how it doesn't take years to climb it, but it may take years to PREPARE to climb it. You have to get in shape. You have to plan. You have to organize. I know not many average people can just jump up and say, "Hey, let's climb Mount Everest this weekend." God brings us these little "zappers" I call them. Little lessons completely unexpected, unplanned, and out of unusual places. Isn't he wonderful!?
I know I am working on the "outside" of my body, but for the first time, I really feel like I am moving mountains on the inside!!

Never Fails!

I did good two weeks in a row. Then this week? I only went to the gym once. arrr!!
discipline! I need discipline. I must say, I have a problem with commitment.
I need an awesome workout buddy. I think I will start praying for that. One that can lift, lead and guide me. It has to be a good match. I will do the same in return. Somehow I guess it's true... misery loves company. I need someone to be miserable with me at the gym. I think I'll try and walk the dogs this evening. After being "hunkered down" due to Ike, we could all use the fresh air.

Slacker, slacker, slacker!

I can't believe it's been so long. I have done well with the gym the last two weeks. I got an awful sinus infection and then had to go back to the dentist for my follow up crown procedure and all that threw my workouts off. Life is rolling along. It seems we are going to get some winds and rain from Hurricane Ike this weekend. I hope it decreases in strength like the other one did.
It is just my luck, a procedure that should be done in two dental visits is taking "me" FOUR! My permanent crown was defective and had to be sent back, so I have to go back yet again........ JOY!
I am keeping in mind what one trainer I had told me awhile back, 80% is diet and 20% is exercise. I hate to admit it, but when I get going to the gym I love the way I feel afterwords. Like I accomplished something. I did something for myself. Don't get me wrong, it hurts! it stinks! When I'm in class I tell myself, this is 50min of 24 hours that you are taking to make your life better. Give it your all! It seems to be helping.

One BUSY week!

Whew! We made it! We did it! We survived the first week of school. Of course it would not be Chica's life if I did not complicate it. I signed up to work two 12hr shifts this week. What was I thinking??!! Not only did I have to arrange drop off in the am, but pick up in the afternoon. Of course I made the usual, new school year resolution... I WILL GO TO THE GYM AFTER I DROP OFF THE KIDS IN THE MORNING! Hmmm, yeah. That worked well. I will say that I at least bagged my swim bag on Monday... I talked myself out of it. I wish I could remember why now. Trust me at the time I had a good reason. Friday, I had a dentist appointment to get my temporary crown put in. I would rather go to the GYN doctor twice in one day, than go to the dentist! That's how much I dislike that experience. I literally was freaked to the point of nausea. There was no way, I was jumping and stretching. My appointment was in the city (The big D) and I had to make sure I got there on time, so I left as soon as I dropped off the kids at school. I was actually a few minutes early. Yeah, me! I must say, that this dentist is EXCELLENT! Him and his assistant kept telling me how good I did. I think I may have to actually change how I feel about going to the dentist. I'll keep ya posted in two weeks, when I go back for the actual crown. Oh yea, one more thing. Guess how much this lovely crown is costing me when all is said in done. Over 1,000!!! We have insurance, YES! I keep thinking of things I could do with that money. Well, my mother always said, you can't put a price on your health. Good clean teeth that will last for your life are a good thing to have.

Farewell Summer Days....

It's approaching. Whether I want it too or not! The laid back, non-structured, stay in your jammies, sleep late, stay up till whenever you want, eat breakfast at noon, don't care if you comb your hair days will be gone in just a few days. School starts Monday. As far as "prep" stuff the kids are ready. School supplies, uniforms, backpacks, all that has been ready long time ago. Now it's just time to MENTALLY prepare. I'm nervous! Carson ended the school year with anxiety issues and mild panic attacks. I keep asking her to tell me if anything went wrong? Nope. Nothing, she says. All of a sudden it's like the umbilical cord has been re-attached. She doesn't want to leave my side. She will only stay over at ONE friends house. Not like her at all. To top it off Nicole is not in her class. OMG! Major crisis. I am praying, and we are talking everyday, about school and how it will be fun, exciting etc etc. She is not convinced. We were out and about running errands yesterday and we both have been under the weather. She said she wanted a cake. I said, ok! She wanted a Busy B's Bakery cake, not just any cake. Fine, no problem. I had been craving a cake from there myself, but trying to keep the sugar down, had not even verbalized it. Funny, how she picked that up. We walk into the bakery and there it was. The perfect cake to end the summer with. The lady laughed when I told her what I wanted written on it. She thought it was perfect. So here's a pic of our "Farewell Summer Days" flip flop cake. It's yummie btw!
I've only had ONE piece. I'm about ready to pass some out to the neighbors, just so I will not be tempted.

Subtle Changes

("Queso" takes a drink from the horse trough)
I have been trying very hard to keep "refined sugar" out of the house this summer.
I had a house sitter that told me it looked like we were moving, because the pantry was 1/2 empty! She knows I usually keep lots of treats/snacks ready at hand. I have not had cake mix, cookie mix, or cookie dough in there all summer. With the heat, I still need to work on the ice cream....
My daughter had a friend over today and when we had lunch I realized the only "snack" I could offer them was fresh fruit! WOW! what a change. One of the major areas that will make a BIG difference is activity. I need to come up with things to do in this heat with the kids. We are all about "swimmed" out. What horrible English. LOL
Tonight for dinner I baked Mahi Mahi and white rice. I know I could have done brown rice, but I didn't have any and even if I did, I did not have the time to cook it. It takes forever. That's still better than a burger and fries. I have a few weeks to work with my kids and get them back into the swing of school.
We went to the school and dropped off some paperwork, in order to avoid the horrendous lines at orientation. I am sooo not ready to start that daily 2 hr drive thing! Arrrrrrrr!

Who turned the heat up??

MY GOSH!! What the heck folks?? It's MISERABLE out there! I so dread this time of year. I can't move without sweating. I can't breathe, it's so humid. Why the heck do I live here?? Seriously?? What was I thinking? I want to crawl under a cool rock and just stay there. Someone call me when Fall gets here, and make it PRONTO! (That's fast in Spanish, for you non bilingual peeps) The entire family went to a water park this weekend. It was not the experience any of us thought it would be. It was miserably hot. Of course, no tables were available. The water only felt cool for about the first millisecond and then it felt like bathwater! YUCK! We went there because a church had rented the place out and it was "private" after closing until 9pm. A friend of mine attends the church and we tagged along for the evening. There is only THREE weeks of summer left!! WOW! I'm so sad. The kids are growing so fast. I have been looking for a specific picture of my father and in the process have come across photos of me at their ages. I remember how I saw my mom, and I think, I AM NOT THAT OLD! LOL I would like to think of myself as young at heart. I was playing with the kids in the pool at a friends house the other day. I realized I don't have a memory of my mother playing with me. Strange. I hope my children grow up with fond memories of their laid back summer days with their good 'ol M O M! I know my mother did the best she could, I hope I do better, and I hope Carson does even better than I did! It's what we are suppose to hope for right?

Amarillo by mornin' ..........

Last weekend we went to visit a longtime GF of mine. We met years ago while she worked at Baylor with me. She is now a FT SAHM. We had never been to Amarillo and were pleasantly surprised by all there is to see and do out there. We went to Cadillac Ranch, where the Cadillacs are buried in the ground and you spray paint them. I have pics, but in my other memory card. We also went to a really cool musical called "Texas." It is held in Palo Duro Canyon and the back drop is the canyon. They use live horses and lots of lights and singing and dancing. At the end there was a small fireworks show. It brought back flashbacks for me of a similar production that El Paso does, and it is called "Viva EL PASO!" Pretty much the same thing. We got home pretty late (12:00am) and decided to jump into the pool anyway. Whew! The next morning I was feeling it. I am too old to party like a rock star people! Sunday was great and laid back. We went out to play with the horses and had lunch then hit the road. It was a fast and furious visit, filled with lots of laughs and fun times. Nobody expected it to be a 6 hour drive from here, but it is. No matter how ya slice it. Misty has a beautiful LARGE house. The kids really enjoyed themselves and she was a wonderful hostess! I wish I had been feeling better. On Thursday before we left I had been running a fever and felt horrible. I am so glad we did not stay home.
It took me pretty much all week to recover from the trip and squeeze in working 2 days this past week. I finally feel back on track. We went to church this morning and the sermon was awesome. The title of this series is Experience the Impossible. I have to share a profound part of it. It began with this statement up on the screen:
Attempt something so impossible, that unless God is in it. It is doomed for failure.
What else can I say?

Happy Birthday America!!

I hope everyone had a happy festive 4th. We had a quiet one at home. I came down with a summer cold and was still a bit lethargic. I LOVE fireworks!! I think they are so romantic, and beautiful. I am sad that I did not get to see them this year. Life will go on. I have been so busy, with the kids and I actually got in a few days of work, and I even went to the gym a few times. Our water class is getting soooo full! Uncomfortably full. Since the weather is pretty, well, not exactly pretty. If you call high 90's with tons of humidity pretty, then you know what I'm talking about. I guess I should rephrase that, at certain times of the day, the weather is pretty enough to get some exercise outside. I have been walking the dogs and they are loving it! I was so pleased with myself the other night. I went for a late night walk, and when we got back both dogs, just fell on the cool tile and were panting and panting. The next day they both slept in! That NEVER happens. I took Carson and my neighbor swimming and I got called "Brazilian!" My neighbor said, that cuz I have gotten so tanned and I was wearing my hat (gotta protect the roseca) sitting in the pool, under the umbrella, I had that look. I've been called many things before, but that was a first. I am going to start my "vision" board. I think it will help me stay focused. It took me awhile to find one that I liked and thought would work. Now I need to decide where I am going to put it. I have to set some major goals. I don't think I've made progress, cuz I don't have a goal. I am very goal oriented. I'll take a pic when I get it up and going. That's all for now. Ciao

Rollercoaster Ride!

I can't believe I'm such a slacker at my postings! I really thought, I would be posting like 2-3 times a day. I'm averaging maybe 6 a month. Pitiful!

So, I've know what I wanted to write about for some time now. I have just been trying to work up my nerve. There have been so many things going on, I'm impressed with myself that I am not in a constant hair pulling, full blown crying, major DIVA mode.

I guess I should begin by telling you my husband has a new job. Yea him! I however have had some major difficulty dealing with it. I am the one that does the bills, handles all the finances and ANY paperwork that comes into this house. He has no clue. He is a hard working husband that just pretty much hands over his pay check and lets me take care of it. We did negotiate a higher pay, but the benefits is what really had me on the fence about the entire deal. They would NOT start benefits until 30 days after being on the job. I didn't even know companies still did that!! I did not want to go through Cobra, it's so darn expensive.
I recently have been talking to a friend of mine that has a brain tumor and was postponing her surgery until August. We discussed her reasons why she wanted to wait. Out of nowhere I was more blunt than I intended to be and told her that maybe this was happening because she had to let go and give God control. Long story short, she talked to her husband, talked to another GF that pretty much told her the same thing, that she is a control freak (not my words) and after about 10days since our talk, she called and rescheduled her surgery for next week. A dear friend of mine, once told me that the trials we go through are usually to learn something.
Well, just cuz you are suppose to practice what ya preach, guess what happened to me????
Since I knew our benefits were changing, I felt I did not want to leave any "money" on the table. I thought I would take care of as many annuals as I could. As I have mentioned before I turned 40, which meant I needed a mammogram this year. I had one done when I was 35 to establish a baseline. It's the Monday of my husbands last week at his job, and I get a phone call at work. Apparently, I had to return for more testing. There was something that was on my films that they wanted to get more pics of, and they wanted me in "this" week!! OH MY GOSH! Talk about, freak out. It was an internal freak out. I was at work. I had to keep my composure. I know I can handle whatever this "thing" is. I was completely freaked out about the insurance situation. We were going to lose benefits in a few days. What if they tell me, I need a biopsy? What if I need surgery? The big one, I did not even want to think about, what if it was cancer?? Would the new insurance cover me with a pre-exsiting condition?? I was a wreck. By the grace of God, I managed to get in on Wednesday. It is a SUPER long story about my visit, but I will say that bottom line, I have to go back again in 6 months for another follow up to see if "it" is getting any bigger. Like I said, practice what ya preach. I had to completely give control up to God. Do you know how hard that is, as a health care worker?? Lesson learned.
My emotions had been all over the map in 3 days. I don't know why, but it always seems when God moves in my life, it happens in many areas at once. I guess, that is how an extremist like me functions best. All or none.
I am standing firmly in faith that everything will be okay. I have turned it over and am not worried about "it" and the insurance. I will go through what I am suppose to, knowing, that he is with me. It's a thin line between denial and turning over control. I don't deny the situation, I just keep telling myself, the outcome has already been determined and I am taken care of by the best Doctor there is!!

Friday the 13th

Ohhhh, It's Friday the 13th! How did your day go? Ours went well at Chica's house. As each day of summer goes by, I have to remind myself of my goal this summer. I gave birth to polar opposites. They are only 2 1/2 years apart. Perfect, according to many child experts. Yeah right! One boy, one girl, different interests, different toys, different friends....
This summer I am determined to get them to "bond."
I have this line my kids are going to grow up telling their kids about. Hmm, I'll say it. Don't anyone freak out. I've never done, nor do I intend to do it. I want "just the thought of it" to be enough for them. So, here it is. I threaten them when they are frighting that I am going to duck tape them together until they get along. I've explained to them, it would be like a 3-legged race type thing. Ahh, how what you say, can come back and haunt you.
It was my daughter's school field day. I was in line to pick up, when I notice the music teacher coming towards my car. Instantly, my mind starts racing.... what did one of them do. I roll down the window and she has this big smile on her face. It's not often, but it happened to be a time when the hubbster and I were picking them up together. She walks over to his side of the car. I was driving. She tells us that she was in charge of the 3-legged race at field day and she had to tell us what Carson told her. "It was the funniest thing" she says. Apparently, when Carson got done with the race, she looks at her and in a completely serious face says, "OMG! Now I know what my Mom is talking about when she says she is going to duct tape me and my brother together! That was hard!!" I red face explained to her, why she said that and then she adds, "Oh yea, she told me that her and her brother don't get along." Great! It's one of those great Carson moments, you just gotta love. My child has no filter. She has a thought and her mouth spurts it out.
I mention this, cuz today, it crossed my mind. Oh boy, did it cross my mind. I have yet to carry it out, but the thought that she now knows what I'm talking about is now pretty interesting.

Strange Noises....

Just like all professional dieters, I too have tried my hand at a few diets, programs, fads, tricks, and anything else people told me would work. One program that gave me the most success talked about letting yourself get hungry. You knew you were there, when you heard your stomach growl. The concept was, that if your stomach is full, it will not make any noise. It was to train you to learn about "hunger." The other day while at the dentist, I heard the assistants stomach growl. Let me give you a visual of her. She is a cute, young, blonde, petite female. Not at all the physique of someone who routinely overeats. Pretty much, we all heard it, and she made a comment to try and not be so embarrassed about it. When I heard it, it got me thinking.... when was the last time I heard "my" stomach growl??? I couldn't remember. That's because I keep it full! duh, chica!
I took the kids to a matinee today. During the middle of it, I heard it!! LOUD and CLEAR! I just smiled. I have been trying to work on portion control. I felt good that I was not keeping myself so full. Now, before I hear it from the professional dieters, I know it's not good to get too hungry. That's the key. It's like walking a tight rope. Learning how to keep your balance, so you don't slip and fall.

Motivation in Strange Places

How embarrassing, but I'm gonna say it. I'm a "trash TV" junkie. Ya know all those trashy reality shows. Yep, addicted to a few. There is one I started to watch completely by accident. It's Workout on Bravo TV. Now, I never thought I would be one to say that I got motivation from a reality TV show where the focus is on a gay female! Well, I have. It takes patience to weed out the trash, but underneath it, there are some good motivational tools in there. The episode where the "sky labers" are in therapy and the gay guy yells, at the chubby girl, "just shut up and DO IT!" OMG! Loved it! It was like he was yelling at me. Today was the finale and they had their reveal moments. How awesome it is too see someone accomplish their goal. I have to say, as hard as it was today, I did not load my grocery cart with refined sugar! I passed the aisle with the baked goods. Whew. The hardest part was the cake mix aisle. I so wanted to buy some chocolate chip cookie mix. I didn't. Kept going. I have to do this, for me and my children. A couple of nights a week, we have been driving to our new dog friendly outdoor mall. Our dogs love the walk, and it's giving us some exercise. Last night, was just gorgeous. After it rained, it cooled down and the horrible humidity was gone. We skipped tonight. I'm dealing with a chronic sinus infection. My headache has been horrendous today. Just like the climbers on Everest continue with illness, so will I. Where is my Sherpa when I need one??

Schools out for Summer!

Whew! I can't believe we made it through. Another school year comes to a close. I always have such mixed emotion at this time. I'm excited to have time with my kids, yet I know it means they are growing up. One year closer to going away to college. Yes, I am one of those mother's that is h*ll bent on my kids going to college. I've told them, they at least have to try it, and give it an honest chance. I loved my college years! I could go off on a tangent here, but I really want to, feel I need to blog about "my journey."
I have to be honest here and say, so far I have not been doing too well. Today, I got up and went to the gym. While I was jumping and huffing in my water class, something crossed my mind. I've been a "member" of the gym since Jan 1, 2008. What do I have to show for it? I started off really well. I felt better, lost some weight and then?? I know that May is a super hectic month for us. It's Mother's Day, Nurses Week, my daughter's birthday and our Wedding Anniversary! The food and sweets are everywhere! I of course gained back the weight I had lost and then some.
I recently began having some health issues. I have many health problems, but am pretty good at being in tune with my body. I felt I had gained some weight rather quickly. I went to the Dr and got my blood pressure medicine changed around. I knew some of the weight was from swelling. I am feeling better, but the first day after changing meds around, I didn't think I was gonna make it. Perseverance.
People who know me, know that I use the term "come to Jesus talks." I need one right now. A big one. I'm going to try and give it to myself. I feel one of my biggest "jewels" I will get out of this journey is to learn to love myself. I can honestly say, I don't do that. I am working on it.
We went to a resort that has an indoor water park for my daughter's birthday. My husband and I were sitting there, people watching. It's true that America leads in overweight people. What I did notice in the women that were not overweight, was that they had a confidence in themselves that the others didn't. They all looked "taken care of." By that I mean, THEY took the time to take care of themselves. They had cute haircuts, and hi-lights, french pedicures, fake nails, etc. As a nurse, I am a caretaker by nature. Why is it, that I can't take good care of myself, love myself? This is an issue I need to find the answer too. I think it will make an avalanche happen in my life. One that is necessary to clear out some bad stuff and reveal some inner beauty. In the meantime, baby steps, baby steps.

"The Talk"

Big SIGH! I can't believe I'm having to walk this rite of passage already. My daughter just turned 9 a few days ago! YIKES! The talk I'm referring too is the one that explains what happens to a woman's body once a month. The other talk is "The BIG Talk" this is just the talk. Nonetheless, one I have thought of how I was going to handle since I found out I was pregnant with a girl. Yep, I'm one of those paranoid over achievers, that thinks of all kinds of crazy things, way ahead of time. I imagined us sitting together, having this wonderful mother daughter moment. I don't know why?! That's NOT how it happened in my world. NOPE, not at all.
In my world we went on bathroom break as a class in the 3rd grade. Then the group of girls that were in the bathroom started screaming cuz "Lina" was bleeding and we thought she was gonna die! Our poor teacher had to deal with us and our curious faces the rest of the day. She told us to ask our parents to explain to us what had happened. I did. My mother did not want to tell me. She made me wait a few days, until I had pouted enough. Gosh, the torture. I can't imagine being a mother of one of the boys in class and having him come home and ask me that.
Then again, my daughter did ask me the other day, "Mom, what does horny mean?" Talk about wanting the earth to swallow you up. Apparently, some girls at school know what it means, and she didn't, and they made fun of her. JOY!
Back to the present. My daughter's talk didn't happen that way either! So, my beautiful mental mother daughter moment never happened. Nope. Not at all that way. While away this weekend, my daughter "confirmed" what she had already been told by a friend at school. Yeah, two of her other friends mother's told me they had the talk with them. Apparently, a book was shared and questions were answered. So, this weekend.... My lovely God Daughter who is a few years older and has walked through "the moment" shared some of her knowledge and confirmed, elaborated, on the process. The best part, when my GF told me that she already knew, I tried to be in denial. My daughter walks into the kitchen and my GF says, "Carson, when your Mom talks to you about your uterus shedding, act surprised okay?" Carson say, "Cool" in her non-chalant I don't care right now, nine year old manner and walks away.
Great! Gotta love it! I did try and create my moment and sat with her recently and asked her if she had any questions about "her uterus shedding" and she said no. I had not heard her say it. I asked her, do you know what it is called? She would not say it. We play a game, where she is the mom and I am the daughter. So, I acted like I was the daughter wanting to know what it is called. Finally, she said it. It's called a period, MOM! I asked her, why isn't it called a question mark? : )

The Big one, three!

Yep, 13 years of marriage! Whew, honestly didn't think I would ever say that. Not cuz my marriage is on the rocks or anything, cuz I never thought I was gonna get married!! Much less last 13 years. I guess this is a great place to tell the story of how I met my other half. Actually, we will skip the how we met. Let me sum it up by saying, we were married 15 wks and 4 days after we met! There, eloped to the Grand Canyon. What a blast that was!
We live almost completely in between both our families. I am from El Paso, and he is from upstate New York. Being as we have no family here, we seldom get "childless" nights. We were blessed to have a dear GF of mine keep our children for the weekend. She lives out in the country. Not the country as some people call it today, but like the country, country. My kids got to DRIVE 4 wheelers, and go carts all around their property. My son actually tried capturing crawdads from a creek! Pretty adventuresome for that city boy. I really think they had more fun that we did. We found ourselves kinda lost...... I did not make any plans, even though I had a few days to think of what we could do. It never fails when I count on the kids being gone, something happens. One year for our anniversary we had arranged for the children to each be with their own friend. BOTH sides cancelled on us. I did not want to get my hopes up. We did have a nice leisurely breakfast out, then went to some way over priced antique shops. I have to applaud hubby for actually going to see a chick flik with me. FYI, don't hurry to go see the new What Happens in Vegas movie. It's ok, that's about it. Very predictable and boring in parts. It's funny, cuz we were invited to a cook out, but it was an hour drive away and there were going to be tons of kids there. That one didn't make sense. I also had talked to another friend of mine and we were gonna go out for sushi. When time came, I was not in the mood to "doll up." My, how we get set in our ways. All in all we have had a nice quiet time together.

Where has Chica been?

I have been nursing my aches and pains! This gym business is killin my bodd! I'm not taking this too well. I have been having leg cramps in my water class. I started cardio and thought I was going to stroke. (I know I should not joke like that, but I felt HORRIBLE! As a nurse all kinds of horrible things cross your mind! I thought, great do I have any ID on me? How embarrassing will that be? How will they get me out of here? How many men will it take to lift the stretcher? Will I ever be able to walk back in here? Those kind of crazy things go through your mind when you feel your heart beating out of your chest.) I realized how bad it is. I have been trying to do better in the nutrition department, then comes Mother's Day. Which btw, Happy Mother's Day to all the mom's!
I had asked to go to a "home tour" for my gift. Who doesn't love going into other people's houses and seeing how they live. What color are the walls? Where do they store there "stuff"?!! This was a tour of some "high dollar" historic homes. I have to say..... I was NOT wow'ed! Don't get me wrong, some of the houses architecturally were gorgeous, but as far as "decorating" goes......
It was a major disappointment. One house had 700 snow globes throughout the house! WHY?!! Another house belonged to a junk dealer and literally that gorgeous house was FILLED beyond the brim with nothing but junk! So sad! One lady made me laugh, she said out loud that she did not think that was appropriate to be listed on the home tour!! OMG! The most interesting thing was how these homes get restored. Some of the wood work is gorgeous. The history behind the homes, being torn down to the bare bones and built up again. One house had been badly burned and redone. That was the beauty of it. Unfortunately, we went on the hottest day so far! It was sooo muggy. No breeze what so ever. I think I sweated (is that correct english?) more than walking the treadmill for 45 min! It was miserable. Then, today.... it is gorgeous and cool outside. Great! We went out to a late, late lunch after we had enough of the tour. There were 11 stops on it, we lacked two. One of those was a house that was just bare bones that you could tour to get a glimpse of the before. It would have been fun, but it was terribly miserable and the buses were packed and taking forever to come around. Standing out in the heat waiting for them got old fast. Once we got on, in the A/C, there was no getting us out. After lunch we came home and I remembered I had been given an open invite to a friends house to jump in her pool. I called and it was still okay to come over. That water never felt so good. It also nursed my legs. My knee, I have mentioned before with the torn meniscus is not happy about going up and down all those stairs. Many of the homes were three stories! I was surprised at that. After our swim, it was late and dark. We came home, cleaned up and veg'ed out in front of the TV some. All in all it was a great day. I'm wiped today and after my breakfast in bed, went back to sleep and slept through my alarm for church. Disappointed about that, but guess my body needed the rest. We shall see how next week goes at the gym, and if kickin up my cardio is doing any good.

My Deviled Egg Eatin' Dog

I have two dogs. One Jack Russell and one huge "SPCA Special" as I call him. He is a mix of who knows what. He was rescued from the SPCA about an hour from here. He was taken to his 2nd home that we know of, which was my co-workers house. "WE" got him when she had had enough of him, chewing and destroying her house. He is part Lab and part Great Dane that we know of for sure. When we first got him, I did not think we were going to make it with him. If you have read the book about "Marley," well, I think our "Luther" is related to him. After almost 4 years we have grown to love him dearly. Today, we were coming home from Carson's opthamology appointment (which is another long story) and I turned down the alley when I noticed two kids poking at my dog with a long stick over the fence. I was immediately furious! I slammed on the gas and the horn, trying to get there as fast as possible and get their attention. I rolled down my window and told the boy to leave my dog alone. His friend thought it was hilarious that he had been caught. My blood was boiling! I may not have stressed how HUGE Luther is. He weighs almost 100 lbs and has these long legs, that when he jumps it's very intimidating. My mind was racing. Ya know, if my dog had broke the fence down and my dog had done something to that kid, who would have been reasonable? US of course! That makes me furious! They come down so hard on dog owners when they bite kids, but I bet if dogs could talk we would find out the truth about what provoked them. I know not all cases, but some. This would have been one of them. My dog was soooooo wound up! His hair was standing on edge along his back, like a cat. Who knows how long they had been there. I would like to think not long, but he was so wired up. I should have followed the boys, but my priority was to check on my dog. I feared finding him bleeding, or wounded. Amazing, how we become so attached to our animals. He thankfully was not hurt that I could see. I kept him in the rest of the afternoon. In the evening it was BEAUTIFUL out and I decided he needed to go run around. There is an elementary school behind our house. They have a small fenced in area that I sometimes let the dogs run around in. It's about the size of 4 backyards, so I guess not that small. We were leaving the school and I noticed Luther was not on his leash anymore! OMG! Needless to say he got to run more than I had planned. We finally chased him down and took him for a ride in my husbands Camry. Luther is so big, that his butt was in the seat and his legs hanging over the edge and his head looking out the windshield just like a person! It was hilarious! We had some good laughs with him this evening. I call him my deviled egg eatin' dog, cuz for some reason he LOVES deviled eggs. Guarantee a few will be missing if you leave your plate unattended. Today was just a reminder of how far we have come with him. I know if his previous owners could see him now, they would definitely want him back. He is our gentle giant. Thank God for the dog angels that watched out for him while we were not home.
Finally, Finally, Finally! I did it! I made it to the gym THREE time this week. I was so wiped today, I took a ginormous nap! Yee-ha for me! Ok, next I need to work on the "nutrition" portion of this healthy lifestyle as well as getting myself to the gym. Notice I said nutrition and not DIET! ok, just checking.

15.5 lbs to go!

This is not a goal for me, but a goal for my workout partner! She said when she loses 15.5 more lbs she will have reached a personal goal and wants to take a "girls getaway" trip! The best part is I get to come along! Yee-ha! You bet I'm calling her to get to the gym as much as possible now. Truth be told, I have only been away from the hubster and kids only ONCE! Next month is our 13th Anniversary. I know some people can't even grasp that thought. A few years ago my BFF and I went on a getaway and it was a blast! We rode waverunners and did whatever we wanted when we wanted! It was so much fun! Then, she got pregnant..... see what happens when you go away and come back! So, now that she has a lil one we have not gone anywhere. I hope hoping to change that soon. Wait, not so true. She broke her leg and that's when she got pregnant. Her husband said, it's cuz he didn't have to chase her anymore! I had planned a trip to Vegas for my ahem... 21st Birthday!~
LOL It got cancelled cuz my GF in New York renigged on me! Actually, everything happens for a reason, cuz we would have been off today and her Dad had unexpected major heart surgery today. I guess Divine intervention saved us the unrefundable airfare. I stepped on the scale and just hate it when that needle points in the opposite direction. I'm taking my scale in to get checked, it MUST be broken. Yeah, right! I have a mantra, '08 will be Great! I keep telling myself this and trying to keep a positive attitude. No matter how high gas prices get!
"I" really need to set a goal. My hospital decided that we must all wear the same color scrubs. JOY! I refuse to buy new scrubs in the current size I am in. I have to move, move, move. How I wish I had personal connections to Jilian the trainer from The Biggest loser! I so need her type of training. The tough love kind.

Rosacea

Wow! I can't believe it's been a week since I last posted. Ok, I did get to the Dr. Long story short, his practice s*cks. He prescribed two creams and oral antibiotics (which I have tried before with my PCP) His diagnosis was SEVERE Rosacea with cystic acne. He swears it's not the makeup. Ok, dude. Time will tell. I went on Wednesday and my face feels a bit better. No more burning, but the itching remains. It looks 1/2 a hair better. So at least we are moving in the right direction. I was pretty bummed about the rosacea issue. I know my hormones are all screwed up, which just makes matters worse. I actually went out of my way to get to the gym and attend a class at a different location, just cuz I like that instructor. It was worth it. My body felt it, that's for sure. I love being outside and with this rosacea it is going to be challenging this summer. I am a sun goddess. I love to turn crispy brown. LOL I may have to find some other form of destruction. I know people with skin cancer, and I am not poking fun. It is not a good habit. Neither is smoking, drinking, or overeating for that matter. I even made it to church today. Pastor spoke about "livin like a dog" and it was very interesting how dogs go back and eat their vomit, and we continue to do destructive (addictive) behaviors. Of course, I have done his sermon no justice, but hope you get the jest. As you can see my brain is bouncing around tonight. I'm hittin the hay, so I can get to water class in the am. Oh yea, guess I should mention I had a major moment of weakness and baked brownies. I did call my neighbor and her BF to come over and have brownies sundaes so they would vanish quicker. It worked, they are all gone, so I had my portion and no more temptation.

What People Say.

Sometimes you just can't believe what comes out of a person's mouth, can ya? I know I have mentioned my latex allergy before. Well, what I may not have mentioned is that I am currently discovering that I am having issues with makeup. There seems to be something in them that "resembles" the chemical make up of a latex protein. My body does not know how to tell the difference. My face is taking a toll. I look like a teen going through puberty twice. I have NEVER had skin issues. Never had blemish's in high school, or later. Well, I am paying now. My reaction looks like I have been burned (redness) along with what looks like acne. Maybe part of it is, but not all of it. It hurts like the dickens, and acne doesn't hurt like this. It itches, it burns. Anyway, I was at work and this housekeeper begins to inquire about what is going on with my face. Now, mind you, I don't know her very well. I raise my children to value people and respect them. I know you may have read the email about the teacher that gave the question about extra credit if they could name the housekeepers name. I like to be friendly to all. I always say hello to her, move out of her way, if it will help her clean. She has a job to do, as I. I have never discussed anything further with her, other than how are you? So, she turns to me and says, "What is wrong with your face? It looks bad! You have an allergy or something?" Now I am a blink away from tears, people! I about wanted to die. I have tried making appointments with dermatologist and apparently it is a booming practice and availability is months away. I have been trying everything under the sun, to try and fix it. So, needless to say, it has been a down weekend. I am now SUPER SELF CONSCIOUS about this. I finally have an appointment this coming week. Wish me luck!
Finally, my butt continues to grow. Very frustrating! I have decided I need help. This week I am looking into programs like WW, Jenny Craig, Nutra Systems etc, to see what I think will fit me best. I saw a friend recently that got the lapband and has lost 75 lbs! Wow, good for her! We all want that instant gratification. I'm at a low. This is the time I have to dig deep.

Update

Just a quick update. My brother had surgery today, for a skin graft on his heel. The plan is to have him go through at least 2 more weeks of IV antibiotics, for a total of 6 weeks.
I spoke to the rehab lady and Spaghetti and Meatball are doing well. Meatball will have 5 days of antibiotics before being released. I think she is planning on releasing them together. That will be nice, as they were found together. Well, gotta hit the hay. I don't know why I can't get to bed at a decent hour the night before I work. 4:30 am comes early!

Farewell "Spaghetti Jones" and "Meatball"

It is with a very heavy sad heart that I write this post. I am not sure if I mentioned that we found 2 baby bunnies a week before Easter. We took them in, as we did not think they would survive, because they were so little. I did not plan on keeping them. I had always heard rabbits attract mice, they smell and are a pain in the butt. I can honestly say 2 out of the 3 are correct. I did not notice any mice while they were around. Once the children gave them names, I knew I was doomed. They named them "Spaghetti and Meatball" because one was skinny and well the other one was not. As time went on, of course as is with most pets, guess who handled a major portion of their care. Yep, the M O M. I did some research and was getting them to be played with, slowly working on introducing them to our dogs and then I got real. I knew it was going to be too much, and we were not being fair to the rabbits. I know you have heard of people that have "vibes" with animals. Call me crazy, but I feel I am that way. If I did my anatomy check correct spaghetti is a female and meatball is a male. Spaghetti is a firecracker. She would bite, and would only settle down for me. I did manage to get her calm while holding her, and she only bite me once. If anyone else tried to get her, I could guarantee they would get bit. She was also, the wild one. Always jumping, wanting to explore and looking around. During my time with her, I added to her name "Jones" and she became "Spaghetti Jones." It somehow suited her.

I spoke to the kids and we decided that we needed to release them back into their habitat. It didn't work. I did what I read about and the rabbits didn't go any further than about 4 ft in almost 5 hours. It started to get dark and we were under a tornado watch, so we brought them back in. I thought we would try again this weekend. Saturday came and we noticed that Meatball was bleeding. Of course the children get very concerned. Being the nurse, I examine him and find his foot and hind leg have been injured. His hind leg was pretty bad. I cleaned him up and tried to put a bandage on, but he would have nothing to do with it. From the get go, I sensed something was different about him. He was a cuddle bug. He would cuddle into me and I could hold him for hours. He never bit. I feel both rabbits knew their names. They would raise their ears when we said them. It was so cute. Back to Meatball, sorry. We separated them, cuz I thought I had seen them fighting earlier that morning. I put Meatball on a towel and we gave him water and his pellets and a carrot, and I was afraid he was not going to be alive in the morning. Thank God, he was. We found Spaghetti had created a hide out for herself and was completely under the Timothy Hay and we could not see her at first glance. Talk about giving me a heart attack. I did try to find a rabbit vet Saturday night, and that was a learning experience in of it self. The closest one was over an hour away. JOY. When we got home from church today, I got back online and looked into rescue facilities for rabbits. I managed to find some organization that had 24 hour volunteers. I called and left a message. They called back and connected me with a "rehab-er" not too far away. We had a family meeting, and explained to the kids we had to do what was best for the rabbits. Interesting how even in a not light hearted situation, out of nowhere comes something funny. As we were discussing the plan, my daughter says, "Mom, you keep talking rehab, like Lindsey Lohan and Brittany?" I really needed that! Perspective of an 8yo. We all came to agreement. I could not bring myself to go drop them off. My husband and son went. The lady that took them, said we could call and check on Meatball tomorrow to see how he was doing. She did compliment us and said they looked in good condition and had been well taken care of. I will miss them. I already do. Doing the right thing, really s*cks sometimes.

Doctors going High-Tech

When did this happen? My children had a dentist appointment today. To most mothers this would not be a big issue. In our family it is. I have a SEVERE latex allergy. This office happens to use latex gloves, so even sitting in there waiting room is dangerous for me. There are many things that I can't do. The list just keeps growing. It is very frustrating. Anyway, usually my husband takes them. Today he was not able to take off work. Everyone knows how hard it is to re-schedule an appointment. I talked to the kids and decided they were old enough and okay about going in without me. They have been with this office for several years now. We get to the parking lot and I jot a few notes down, for them to hand to the dental hygienist. Off they go. It's about 45 minutes now. I have made phone calls, cleaned my purse, thoroughly inspected my eyebrows with the nice mirror and light on the sunshade thing, and even took a power nap. I decide I should at least maybe stand out in the hall. I walk up to the office and it has gone through a major re-model. Immediately through the glass windows, my eyes go to the LARGE plasma TV mounted on the wall, playing Alvin and the Chipmunks. Excuse me! Wait. Against the wall, is a massive "pottery barn" type shelf. The entire wall! It has pretty baskets and nice breakable decorations, that of course all match. The thing looked like something right off the pages of pottery barn. After picking my mouth up off the floor, I did not see my kids sitting anywhere in front of the "movie" screen. I walk over to the other side of the office. There are THREE computer screens. THREE video game systems. XBOX 360, Playstation 2, and a gamecube. Okay, now in a curious robotic stage, I keep walking just to see what else they have done. There is a "coffee station." There are about 5 different types of coffees. At this point I'm thinking I will never get them out of there! I did not see them anywhere in there. It was actually pretty outside so I went to go sit on a bench while I waited for them. A few minutes later, they come walking out, accompanied by their dental hygienist. She was very nice and went over there visit with me. I was impressed that she walked out to update me. I talked about their office renovations and she informed me they are working on being a latex free office! Woo Hoo The only thing missing from there was an actual Starbucks. When did this happen? Dr's catering in such a way to this generation. What about us Mom's?? When am I going to walk into the OB/GYN office and say, where do I sign up for my pedi/mani while I wait?? Or, are there any slots open for a chair massage? It's just not fair people! Just not fair!
I'm afraid to wonder what next?

Setback

I'm not sure why. I have not been to the gym in almost THREE weeks. This morning I had phone calls from 2 different people asking me if I was going to the water class. I didn't. I got back in bed and went to sleep. My husband drove the children in to school for me, so I got a morning at home. Alone. It very rarely happens, and I felt I did not want to rush off and have to be someplace. I did have my bag packed. As the bible says, the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. It has been an interesting week. I have been on a MASSIVE re-organizing spree. I have even done my GF's daughter's room, and today we did one of her hall closets. I have done three closets and two rooms in our house. I don't know if it means, I'm trying to get things "mentally" straight. I am one of these people that can't function if my surroundings are a mess.
This week is also difficult thinking about my brother. I keep praying for him. Just like I am the only one that bring about the "umph" in me to get going, he is the only one to bring it out of himself. I just pray it happens soon. A co-worker of mine, has a husband with liver cancer. He received a liver transplant today. Praise God! It is amazing what some people are dealing with.
We all have our cross to bare.

Spring Break Cometh!

It's almost here. Yep, the oh so looking forward to having the kids with me 24/7 spring break! I am actually one of those freak Mom's that doesn't mind hanging out with my kids. I don't know what we will do with gas prices being out of control. I filled my tank the other day to the tune of $85.00!!!! Yikes! I literally almost cried at the pump. The sad thing, that was at Costco, where they guarantee the lowest price. I did get a coupon for a free game of bowling for the each of us. My most concerning issue is my workout routine. My workout partner asked me if I would be there next week and I said yes. She said, what are you doing with your kids? I did not sign up for daycare at the gym, since I only go while they are at school. I will either have to get up at the crack of dawn, or go super late. Hmmm. I am looking forward to my water class tomorrow morning. We have a sub and OMG, is she AWESOME! She kicked my butt Wednesday, so good that I took today off. Finally, on a sad note. My brother is struggling with another wound infection and it does not look good. They are giving him a 5 wk antibiotic course and if it does not work, he is looking at another amputation. Please pray for healing in his body and spirit. He is having a very difficult time emotionally, due to the situation. It is so difficult not having control of your body like that. As a nurse you wish you could just fix it. Time will tell, and I pray it will be a positive outcome.

Affects of the Weather

Have you ever noticed how the weather affects people's behavior. Wet weather, tends to make people grumpy. Snow, seems to make people happy, bringing forth memories of their childhood.
This past week, we have had some WACKY weather here in North Texas. On Friday, we got SNOW! Today, I learned the expected high for Thursday is in the low 80's and for Friday in the high 80's!! I think this has turned my workout routine upside. I know on Saturday morning, when I spoke to my workout partner, we decided to ditch our swimming class. It was 26 degrees outside and the thought of jumping around in a suppose to be heated pool, was not pleasant. She convinced me that since the pool is surrounded by windows and it is so cold outside there was no way the pool would actually be warm. Gotta love it! I gave in. Can someone shout, "Co-dependency!" LOL I was getting dressed this morning and felt like wearing some "bling." My engagement ring had started to fit again. Notice I said, HAD. Yep, didn't fit this morning. Arrr! So, I need to be out of excuses, out of weather issues and so forth. I am planning an Easter party at our house. Maybe I'll set a weight loss goal for a few pounds by then? Let me think about it.........

Ah Ha Moment

If you are an Oprah viewer you know what that means. It's a moment when you realize something big about your life, or yourself. As I stated when I started my blog, I am going to climb my Everest one step at a time. In order to do this, I felt I needed to go back and see where I "lost my footing" before. I have traveled down the road and seem to be doing fine and then I completely get off track. It was not only that, that was bothering me, it was the fact that I really wanted to know when, why, and where I began to lose the "hot chica" I used to be. I have had many conversations with GF's before and for some reason, many of us that hear God, have talked about how we have these massive realizations when we are in the shower. I think it's because it is when we are most vulnerable, completely in the flesh and getting clean. Today, I was taking my shower and not thinking about this, before I started to shower, I began thinking about where did I begin to lose myself. I began thinking about how I want to get back to a weight I was 15 years ago. I kept examining my life then and now and trying to figure out what was different. Obviously, I am now married. Does that mean, it is my marriage? I am now a mother. Does that mean, it's my children?
A few years ago, I felt in my heart I really needed to find out what my true passion was. I asked several of my friends that new me in different ways, what they saw me passionate about. It took almost a year, but I found out I am passionate about making people feel better. That moment hit me in church one Sunday. I have kept that in my head, all this time. I want to figure out how I can pursue my passion and live a fulfilling life. I have been a hairdresser before, and that makes people feel better. I am now a nurse and that obviously makes people feel better. Recently, with the issues I am having at work, which I will not discuss now, I realized that there is a major void in my career life. That void is creativity. When I was doing hair, I was able to express my creative side with each and every client. Basically, every second I was at work, I was being creative. I used to wake up and look forward to going to work. It was something different everyday. Yes, there were those clients that drove me crazy. Yet, even dealing with them, I was still being creative. Now, back to my ah ha moment in the shower. Today, I realized that I began to lose myself when I gave up hairdressing and went into nursing full-time. WOW! What an epiphany. Now comes the hard part. What do I do with this new found information. I think that will make the difference!

So this is what we spend our money on?

I last wrote about my son singing Juice Box Hero and asking his guitar teacher to teach him to play that. So, we go to his lesson on Thursday. I picked him up and asked how his lesson went. "fine, mom." Oh yea, did you ask your teacher about juice box hero? "No, but I did ask him if he has ever "sh-arted" (not sure of the correct grammar there) For those of you that don't know what "sh-arting" is... It is a combination of farting and having something else come out with and or instead. Gross! I can't believe I'm writing about this. Anyway. He eagerly tells me his teacher said "yeah!" Once again, I about go off the side of the road. What?! MOM, he told me that once he was walking his dog at the park with his GF and he thought he was gonna fart and he sh-arted instead. I was completely at a loss for words. Now, you know this guy is a late teen, early 20 something. I guess boys talk freely about that stuff. I got a long explanation about how this topic came up in a music lesson, which did not make any sense to me. I guess it was one of those, had to be there moments. So, did you learn anything else at your lesson today? Nah, not really.. GREAT! This is what we spend our money on!

Pic info: 80's party. green and yellow mohawk

Back in the Saddle

Yep, I think I'm back in gear. I've hit the gym twice this week already. I started to feel like the little advancement I had made was disappering, so that put a fire under my butt. I hate when you have your mind made up to do something but your body fights your mind and your body starts to act up. My knee is bothering me. Last year I was told I have a torn meniscus. Being the typical RN that I am, I did not want surgery. Why, you ask? Because, I'm a big scarredy cat. I have learned to live with it and so far am doing ok. I think I aggravated it in my "vault" back into my fitness routine. I should try walking in, like all other human beings. Bet that will work. I went to my water class this morning, and I got there late, which means a bad spot in the pool. The instructor claims they are not allowed to play music, whateva! So, when I'm in there, I use my "mental Ipod." Today, I kept hearing a song in my head that my son was singing to yesterday. We were driving into school, and being the hip chica Mom that I am, we were listening to a teeny booper station. I love this station, cuz they play all kinds of fun upbeat music, where you can understand the words. Well, usually. A blast from my past was blaring on the radio and my son starts singing along at the top of his lungs.... "He was a JUICE BOX HERO......" I about went off the side of the road laughing. Once I gained my composure, I explained to him what a "jukebox" was. I have to remind him to ask his teen something guitar teacher to teach him to play the juice box hero song. So anyway, Juice Box Hero got me through my class today. Now, I bet you are gonna have that song in your head today. Try not to grin too much. : )

On a side note, I bought my kids a hula hoop yesterday. Well, they each got their own. It was hilarious watching them try to master this. Even funnier was "me" trying to relive those years. I am determined to get this! I'll keep ya posted on how that goes.

Que pasa chica?

I don't know what is going on with me.... I just have not been myself lately. Usually I get the "blues" around the holidays, and last year, not ONE tear. I was so proud of myself. Maybe this is all delayed post holiday blues. I don't know. I did have my 40th Birthday, but that's not what has the water works going. My BFF had a really cool 80's party for me. I am so blessed to have her in my life. We have our ups and our downs, but all in all, I would not trade her for the world. We called it "Farewell 30's" and dressed up in 80's attire and all. We had way to many "buttery nipple" shots to remember names. Well, at least I did! I somehow re-named my GF Carmen, "Charmin!" I got some funny, funny, gag gifts. The turn out was low, and that kinda got me sad. Afterwards, I figured that the people that mattered most were there and that is what counts! Right? We had our kids there, and even had them dressed in the 80's.
I have not been to the gym in 2 wks and I know that is not helping the emotions. I need to get back on the wagon. I am so good at putting on a face and letting people think all is well on the outside. I have been grumpy as all get out! Maybe I need some serious drugs. The kind that make everything seem ok. What am I talking about? I already have some of those. LOL I guess I need a stronger dose. Yeah, that's it! Since I am older now, I must need my dosage increased. I did discover something very interesting. I have been having some serious issues at work. I will not get into them here. Let me just say, things have been better there. After 15 years, it may just be time to hang it up. Back to my interesting discovery. I was looking over my page and saw that I ommited being a Nurse! OMG! Talk about Freudian. I think subconsiously, I left it out. Maybe I don't consider myself a nurse. Yeah, I do. I don't know.
See what I mean. Just in a big Funk. That's not a typo. I'm not talking about the F word. Just being in a funky mood, funky stage in my life. I feel like those people you see in the movies that go off to "find themselves." For those of you that don't speak Spanish, "Que Pasa Chica" can be translated into What is going on Chic? That's basically, what I keep asking myself.
I know up to this point, I have not shared my blog with anyone. I know that it's out there and if someone finds it then great. As far as "me" making it know to someone, I have not done that. I read a few other blogs today and one, about some lady talking about giving herself a coffee enema! Ok, that made me laugh. Maybe that's what I need, to just laugh at myself.
The hubster took the day off today. We are suppose to do something together. He went to go fill out job applications. Ironic, huh? I guess I'll go pull myself together before he gets back..
ciao chicas y chicos.

Best Laid Plans.....

Today, I had plans. Yep, I did. What I did not have planned, was my daughter having a temperature of 102 and missing school. Also, not planned was an entire side of my fence falling due to strong winds. The big, not planned events of the day were the dog piles, or should I say the semi-circular mushy, wet, wanna be piles of poop that were all over the house! I so, did not have any of that planned.
What I did have planned was celebrating the 13th anniversary of the day I met my Husband. Not that "he" remembers. I do, and that's what matters. I had planned on making a special chocolate cake and a nice dinner and having the kids to bed early, and spending some time together. Instead, we are pulling up pooped on carpet, trying to find dogs that wandered off due to no fence, consoling my son that can't have his friend spend the night because his sister is sick.
Ahhh, the joy of best laid plans.

Why Can't it be that Simple?

It's crazy these days, isn't it? Having to live up to some "super mom" image. Most households have both parents working, not too mention all the extra curricular activities the children are in. It was finally a sunny day here in North Texas. I am one of these people that have to have my blinds up and able to look out the windows. I know it can make your utility bill higher, but I figure if I get sunshine, I'm saving on antidepressants. I was going back and forth in and out of my kitchen, which has a bay window in it. Every time I walked by I could see my dogs outside, just sleeping, laying there in the sun. About the 5th time I walked by, I thought to myself, gosh, I would love to just be lounging in the sun. My big dog Luther had himself in some twisted position that did not look comfortable at all, but watching his breathing I could tell he was out like a light! My little dog Regina was pretty much curled up in a circle and looked so cute and innocent. Dog's don't worry about music lessons, soccer games, if they have Xbox 360, or a Wii.
Heck, they don't even have to think about what's for dinner!! Now, that really gets me. Just makes ya wonder, why can't it be that simple?

Chica's Day Off

Get it? Like Ferris Beuller's day off. Okay, I thought it was funny. Anyway, I had to take today off. I could not even sleep last night, my body hurt so bad. I ached all over. Just thinking about a part of my body, made that part ache. Not even the "alleve" I took alleviated any pain. I feel better this evening. Now I'm just grumpy! Go figure... I have noticed my children being very supportive of my journey. My son has started doing crunches in the evening. All without any prodding on my part. I have had a headache today. I think that is why I'm grumpy. I tend to get grumpy when I'm in pain. Weird, I know. I have such a high pain tolerance, that I can continue functioning, and not realize how bad the pain is, until I sit still. How often does that happen? Exactly. I had a bazillion errands to run today. I took care of all of them. Woo Hoo, and Yee-ha. Hmm, here is another reason that might explain my grumpiness. I had a speeding ticket awhile back. I went to "court" if you can call it that, in the podunk town that I got it in. Their "court" is appearing before the judge and having her either give you defensive driving, lower your fee, or community service. In the big cities, if the police officer that cited you does not show up at court, your ticket is dismissed. NOOOO, not in this town. Well, I got "granted" a month to pay the "court fees" and then 3 months from the day the fee was paid, I was to take defensive driving. Well, for some reason, I got the due date wrong in my head. I was "late" by one day and they would not budge. So, now not only do I have to pay the entire fine, but there is no way to get it removed from my record. That piss*s me off! So, I drive down to the so called municipal building or whatever, which looks like a double wide trailer from the outside. I walk in, surrendering myself to pay the entire fine, and they don't take checks!!! ARRRRRR! Not having a few extra hundred dollars cash on me, I now have to go back, yet again. Joy! Where is my friend Jose when I need him?? (Jose Cuervo)

Taking the Plunge!

Woo Hoo! Yee-ha! and all that Jazz. I did it! I finally did it! I meet with "THE TRAINER." Insert theatrical music here, like when the "who dun it" is solved. I did have an appointment at 9:30am with another mini Barbie. This one was not at all as bad as the first one. She was more regular looking and seemed down to earth. Nonetheless, the "boss" man called 15 minutes before the appointment and said he needed to speak to me "about my appointment." I heard that message and thought, GREAT! Another one "gone?" I blew off the whole entire thing. Ok, I guess here, I should mention that I forgot about the appointment until I heard the message. It didn't matter. It sounded like there was a problem, so it would not have happened anyway. Right? This is where you agree with me, nodd your head please. Thank you. Finally around noon, I get my groove back and decided I need to do this. I called twice until I finally reached, "HIM." His name is Melvin, and he is a really nice guy. I think this will be a good fit. I felt comfortable with him, heck he knows how much I weigh! My husband doesn't even know that. Hmmmm. I know the point of this "meeting" was to have them give me their sales pitch on how you need to incorporate "trainers" into your routine, to get the best results, yada, yada, yada. He gave me his schpeel and I looked him in the eyes and said, "do you practice that at home?" At this point, we had developed a good enough repoire for a comment like that. Heck the guy drew this triangle and had letters and hand gestures. He was working it folks. I was short on time, so we wrapped it up soon after that. I did assure him I do have plans of getting a trainer. I want to ask for "training sessions" for my Birthday from all my friends. What a smart cookie, I am huh? Yeah, I know I should ask for something more "lasting" for such a milestone birthday. What's more lasting than improving my health? Well, all in all it was a good session. Parts of my body are hurting me this evening. I already took some pharmaceutical therapy for it. I'm fresh and clean and pretty smelling and off to bed.