Ah Ha Moment

If you are an Oprah viewer you know what that means. It's a moment when you realize something big about your life, or yourself. As I stated when I started my blog, I am going to climb my Everest one step at a time. In order to do this, I felt I needed to go back and see where I "lost my footing" before. I have traveled down the road and seem to be doing fine and then I completely get off track. It was not only that, that was bothering me, it was the fact that I really wanted to know when, why, and where I began to lose the "hot chica" I used to be. I have had many conversations with GF's before and for some reason, many of us that hear God, have talked about how we have these massive realizations when we are in the shower. I think it's because it is when we are most vulnerable, completely in the flesh and getting clean. Today, I was taking my shower and not thinking about this, before I started to shower, I began thinking about where did I begin to lose myself. I began thinking about how I want to get back to a weight I was 15 years ago. I kept examining my life then and now and trying to figure out what was different. Obviously, I am now married. Does that mean, it is my marriage? I am now a mother. Does that mean, it's my children?
A few years ago, I felt in my heart I really needed to find out what my true passion was. I asked several of my friends that new me in different ways, what they saw me passionate about. It took almost a year, but I found out I am passionate about making people feel better. That moment hit me in church one Sunday. I have kept that in my head, all this time. I want to figure out how I can pursue my passion and live a fulfilling life. I have been a hairdresser before, and that makes people feel better. I am now a nurse and that obviously makes people feel better. Recently, with the issues I am having at work, which I will not discuss now, I realized that there is a major void in my career life. That void is creativity. When I was doing hair, I was able to express my creative side with each and every client. Basically, every second I was at work, I was being creative. I used to wake up and look forward to going to work. It was something different everyday. Yes, there were those clients that drove me crazy. Yet, even dealing with them, I was still being creative. Now, back to my ah ha moment in the shower. Today, I realized that I began to lose myself when I gave up hairdressing and went into nursing full-time. WOW! What an epiphany. Now comes the hard part. What do I do with this new found information. I think that will make the difference!

So this is what we spend our money on?

I last wrote about my son singing Juice Box Hero and asking his guitar teacher to teach him to play that. So, we go to his lesson on Thursday. I picked him up and asked how his lesson went. "fine, mom." Oh yea, did you ask your teacher about juice box hero? "No, but I did ask him if he has ever "sh-arted" (not sure of the correct grammar there) For those of you that don't know what "sh-arting" is... It is a combination of farting and having something else come out with and or instead. Gross! I can't believe I'm writing about this. Anyway. He eagerly tells me his teacher said "yeah!" Once again, I about go off the side of the road. What?! MOM, he told me that once he was walking his dog at the park with his GF and he thought he was gonna fart and he sh-arted instead. I was completely at a loss for words. Now, you know this guy is a late teen, early 20 something. I guess boys talk freely about that stuff. I got a long explanation about how this topic came up in a music lesson, which did not make any sense to me. I guess it was one of those, had to be there moments. So, did you learn anything else at your lesson today? Nah, not really.. GREAT! This is what we spend our money on!

Pic info: 80's party. green and yellow mohawk

Back in the Saddle

Yep, I think I'm back in gear. I've hit the gym twice this week already. I started to feel like the little advancement I had made was disappering, so that put a fire under my butt. I hate when you have your mind made up to do something but your body fights your mind and your body starts to act up. My knee is bothering me. Last year I was told I have a torn meniscus. Being the typical RN that I am, I did not want surgery. Why, you ask? Because, I'm a big scarredy cat. I have learned to live with it and so far am doing ok. I think I aggravated it in my "vault" back into my fitness routine. I should try walking in, like all other human beings. Bet that will work. I went to my water class this morning, and I got there late, which means a bad spot in the pool. The instructor claims they are not allowed to play music, whateva! So, when I'm in there, I use my "mental Ipod." Today, I kept hearing a song in my head that my son was singing to yesterday. We were driving into school, and being the hip chica Mom that I am, we were listening to a teeny booper station. I love this station, cuz they play all kinds of fun upbeat music, where you can understand the words. Well, usually. A blast from my past was blaring on the radio and my son starts singing along at the top of his lungs.... "He was a JUICE BOX HERO......" I about went off the side of the road laughing. Once I gained my composure, I explained to him what a "jukebox" was. I have to remind him to ask his teen something guitar teacher to teach him to play the juice box hero song. So anyway, Juice Box Hero got me through my class today. Now, I bet you are gonna have that song in your head today. Try not to grin too much. : )

On a side note, I bought my kids a hula hoop yesterday. Well, they each got their own. It was hilarious watching them try to master this. Even funnier was "me" trying to relive those years. I am determined to get this! I'll keep ya posted on how that goes.

Que pasa chica?

I don't know what is going on with me.... I just have not been myself lately. Usually I get the "blues" around the holidays, and last year, not ONE tear. I was so proud of myself. Maybe this is all delayed post holiday blues. I don't know. I did have my 40th Birthday, but that's not what has the water works going. My BFF had a really cool 80's party for me. I am so blessed to have her in my life. We have our ups and our downs, but all in all, I would not trade her for the world. We called it "Farewell 30's" and dressed up in 80's attire and all. We had way to many "buttery nipple" shots to remember names. Well, at least I did! I somehow re-named my GF Carmen, "Charmin!" I got some funny, funny, gag gifts. The turn out was low, and that kinda got me sad. Afterwards, I figured that the people that mattered most were there and that is what counts! Right? We had our kids there, and even had them dressed in the 80's.
I have not been to the gym in 2 wks and I know that is not helping the emotions. I need to get back on the wagon. I am so good at putting on a face and letting people think all is well on the outside. I have been grumpy as all get out! Maybe I need some serious drugs. The kind that make everything seem ok. What am I talking about? I already have some of those. LOL I guess I need a stronger dose. Yeah, that's it! Since I am older now, I must need my dosage increased. I did discover something very interesting. I have been having some serious issues at work. I will not get into them here. Let me just say, things have been better there. After 15 years, it may just be time to hang it up. Back to my interesting discovery. I was looking over my page and saw that I ommited being a Nurse! OMG! Talk about Freudian. I think subconsiously, I left it out. Maybe I don't consider myself a nurse. Yeah, I do. I don't know.
See what I mean. Just in a big Funk. That's not a typo. I'm not talking about the F word. Just being in a funky mood, funky stage in my life. I feel like those people you see in the movies that go off to "find themselves." For those of you that don't speak Spanish, "Que Pasa Chica" can be translated into What is going on Chic? That's basically, what I keep asking myself.
I know up to this point, I have not shared my blog with anyone. I know that it's out there and if someone finds it then great. As far as "me" making it know to someone, I have not done that. I read a few other blogs today and one, about some lady talking about giving herself a coffee enema! Ok, that made me laugh. Maybe that's what I need, to just laugh at myself.
The hubster took the day off today. We are suppose to do something together. He went to go fill out job applications. Ironic, huh? I guess I'll go pull myself together before he gets back..
ciao chicas y chicos.