Keeping It Real !

I have been doing a bit more blog cruising lately. I made a decision. I am going to keep it real. I am finding that so many blogs are just "life is so fun, and perfect." Well, it's not, and we all know it. I want to keep my blog real and share what is going on in my life. That is why I started doing this. I am a difficult nut to crack. I will admit that. For some reason, I am better able to communicate with my fingers than with my mouth. Go figure. I really do want to share my "journey." Part of that sharing is the up hill and down hill battles.
I currently am dealing with a major uphill battle, which is dealing with my brothers passing. There is not an area in my life that has not been affected by it. Financially, Physically, Emotionally, you name it! I love to swim. If you swim, you will be able to understand my next statement. I am now feeling like, when you jump into a deep pool, hit the bottom, and instead of pushing yourself off the pool floor and speeding up your descent, you just slowly..... look up.. see the sun shining through the water and feel yourself slowly start floating up. I just don't have any "umph" left in me to push myself off the pool floor. I'm okay with that, because for almost 2 months I felt like I was laying on the bottom of the pool floor weighted down by something so heavy and large, that all my strength would never be able to get it off me. Thank you Heavenly Father, for not giving up on me, even when I was angry and hurt!!