Thursday, June 25, 2009

Sad Day in Hollywood

This morning news broke that Farah Fawcett lost her battle with anal cancer. The media coverage was pretty much all the same. It was a very nice statement saying her long time love and best friend were by her side. A few hours later I heard a blurb that there was a 911 call from Micheal Jackson's home. I really didn't pay attention to it. The poor man could hardly go to the bathroom without it being made public.
In the late afternoon I was on the phone with my aunt when she told me to hold on, because her other line was ringing. She came back and told me that my cousin called to say that the news was reporting that Micheal Jackson had died!! OMG! I immediately turned to CNN as did she. I was in shock and disbelief. I called my daughter into the room and she said she had seen the crawler on the show she was watching. This is funny... She said she checked the info to see the date of the show. You know how some shows are old. Well, it happened to be an old show, so she just dismissed it and didn't think anything of it. I was impressed that she would think to check the date. Her and my son were default fans because when his songs would come on the radio, I of course growing up with his music would know every word and sing my heart out.
It saddens my heart to hear some of the comments people make about him even after his death. On facebook, a friend of mine made a not very nice comment and I could not keep my fingers still. I had to type my rebuttal. Think of him what you may, he had a tremendous impact on music and entertainment. There will never be another like him. I am sad for the families that have to deal with the addition of negative remarks at this time. It really is never an appropriate time. I personally feel he is not guilty of the horrible things he went to court for. He was not acquitted for any charge, btw.
Nonetheless, within a weeks time Hollywood has lost some major stars. Ed McMahon died earlier in the week. I was not aware of it, until watching the coverage there was a comment about how they come in 3's. Having worked in the NICU, I unfortunately have seen first hand how that happens. We would lose one baby, soon the next would follow and sometimes it would come right after we would lose the third. It is so disturbing to see that trend.
It is difficult to hear news like this. I did tear up some, I am not embarrassed to say. He was an idol in my era. He will be sadly missed. As for Ms Farah, I think she handled her situation with grace and dignity. I hope that her journey she documented helps others.

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Reflecting on Father's Day

It's Father's Day today. It is always a bitter sweet day for me. I lost my father 23 years ago. Wow! As you know, this year I lost my brother. Having my Dad gone for so long, my brother was in a dual role. Gosh, darn it! I'm already crying..

Okay, I'm back.
Where was I? Ah yes.. I was not sure how I would feel today. I know that I have to be thankful that "MY" children have a father to celebrate the day with. I am! Don't get me wrong. It's "my" father missing that brings me down. I have come to realize that a father is irreplaceable! I don't know why, God thinks some of us will do okay, without one. I have learned this. God taketh, and he giveth. Yeah, I know that I said it backwards. I say it that way, cuz I have come to realize that he really does know what he is doing! Imagine that! I've reconnected with a friend of mine from HS. In just the few months we have been in contact again, I have gotten very comfortable with him. I am trying to view it this way. God took my sick brother that needed to get some rest and gave me a younger healthier "brother" in my life. Thanks big guy! It helps the hurt when I think of it that way.
I hope that Dad and Tiny are having an awesome first Father's Day together in so many years!
With our current cut in income we have not done major gifts for each other on Mother's Day or Father's Day. I cooked my butt off this week for Chris. He loves Mexican food and that is what he wanted. I also cleaned out "most" of the garage. He was complaining of it getting too cluttered. Since losing my brother with the depression my organizing OCD compulsion has gone to the way side. It is amazing how quickly things pile up in just 6 months! All in all, I have to say it was cleansing. Gathering all the stuff that needed to go, baggin it up, and getting it out is kind of like all the sad, hurt and pain that I need to let go of and get
it bagged up and outta here! In between all the cooking and garage I actually managed to organize my closet. It looks so cool now! I should have done before and after pictures. Oh well.
It's been an emotional roller coaster weekend. I'm glad the ride is over.
Until next time Chicas!

Thursday, June 18, 2009

School Decisions

The other day at a pool party, talking with friends, we got into discussing schools for our children. Why is it, that these days we spend so much time dealing with which school our children will go to? Our parents didn't have this on their plate. They shipped us off to public school and off we went. All was well. Nobody questioned it. Nobody wondered if they were doing the right thing. I am spending HOURS and DAYS dealing with this decision this summer! It is driving me crazy!
Do we complicate matters for ourselves, or is life really this complicated nowadays??

Monday, June 15, 2009

Ah Ha Moment....

So I stepped on the scale and things are not looking good.
I know I am now home FT. This is different. I was thinking
about how I felt when my brother passed. I literally had NO
appetite. That was the first time in my life that I have ever
truly felt such sorrow. I have suffered several MAJOR loses in
my life. Some I have never talked about. Even then I did not feel
like I did recently. I guess what I realized is that, "this moment" could
very well be the first time I have ever truly, truly, let my guard down
and let myself feel what I was feeling, and not hide behind a fake smile.
I hope this revelation will lead me to why I chose food to cover/hide my
feelings. Is it to fill the empty void so many overweight people speak of?
My mind is spinning. I feel like I have made great strides, but I can't
explain it yet. Thank you Lord, for this revelation. I believe by me realzing
this I am ready to move forward and take another step. One step at a time...