Monday, June 2, 2008

Schools out for Summer!

Whew! I can't believe we made it through. Another school year comes to a close. I always have such mixed emotion at this time. I'm excited to have time with my kids, yet I know it means they are growing up. One year closer to going away to college. Yes, I am one of those mother's that is h*ll bent on my kids going to college. I've told them, they at least have to try it, and give it an honest chance. I loved my college years! I could go off on a tangent here, but I really want to, feel I need to blog about "my journey."
I have to be honest here and say, so far I have not been doing too well. Today, I got up and went to the gym. While I was jumping and huffing in my water class, something crossed my mind. I've been a "member" of the gym since Jan 1, 2008. What do I have to show for it? I started off really well. I felt better, lost some weight and then?? I know that May is a super hectic month for us. It's Mother's Day, Nurses Week, my daughter's birthday and our Wedding Anniversary! The food and sweets are everywhere! I of course gained back the weight I had lost and then some.
I recently began having some health issues. I have many health problems, but am pretty good at being in tune with my body. I felt I had gained some weight rather quickly. I went to the Dr and got my blood pressure medicine changed around. I knew some of the weight was from swelling. I am feeling better, but the first day after changing meds around, I didn't think I was gonna make it. Perseverance.
People who know me, know that I use the term "come to Jesus talks." I need one right now. A big one. I'm going to try and give it to myself. I feel one of my biggest "jewels" I will get out of this journey is to learn to love myself. I can honestly say, I don't do that. I am working on it.
We went to a resort that has an indoor water park for my daughter's birthday. My husband and I were sitting there, people watching. It's true that America leads in overweight people. What I did notice in the women that were not overweight, was that they had a confidence in themselves that the others didn't. They all looked "taken care of." By that I mean, THEY took the time to take care of themselves. They had cute haircuts, and hi-lights, french pedicures, fake nails, etc. As a nurse, I am a caretaker by nature. Why is it, that I can't take good care of myself, love myself? This is an issue I need to find the answer too. I think it will make an avalanche happen in my life. One that is necessary to clear out some bad stuff and reveal some inner beauty. In the meantime, baby steps, baby steps.

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